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yeah i agree with you - if he's making sex the foundation of the marriage, he'll be quite unhappy.
And I take offense to his comments! Just because you're a Pakistani doesn't make you bad in bed!
u know what i think you should let him go and get married to the "experienced" american woman because after all the encounters this person has gone through i dont personally think he deserves , neither can he get a seedhi saadhi good family background girl from pakistan anywayz.. unless offcourse parents are under the impression that the kid is chaste.. and unknowingly lie and get some rishta for him.. so tell him that when he says he doesnt want to get married to a person who comes with "overheads" he is actually doing some poor girl a favor.. things kinda work out for both the parties here .. he gets his wish and some girl gets her life saved.. :)
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*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
if he's making sex the foundation of the marriage, he'll be quite unhappy.
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Lets not pass summary judgements. To each his own. Everyone has different priorities in life. This guy atleast has the conviction to follow through with what he believes in. He will find out soon enough whether he made the correct decision. Each of us should have a right to make our own mistakes.
If I were in Roman's position, I wouldn't even tell him to do anything else. I'll wish him luck.
Personally, I think he is confusing a "girl friend" from a "wife". With a "wife", one should consider a long-term relationship, kids, their upbringing, career choices, home, relationships with peers and all such things. It is impossible to stereotype correctly. There are lots of western women, who turned out to be great wives for desi men, and in the process both of them changed to better persons. Even if the basis of their relationship was on quite flimsy grounds (e.g. great sex).
The people who can offer a much better perspective on this situation will be NYA, Najim and aahmed.
agreed :k:
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i’m sorry u’re friend is so misguided. his happiness isn’t going to lie with the ethnicity of the girl. and if he’s looking for great sex, well then becareful, b/c like everyone else said, its not the greatest basis for a lifelong committment. I’m sure there are western girls out there that have the same experience as desi girls (or lack thereof)
:k:
People generalize waaay too much (i’m absolutely sure i’ve done it unfortunately) and its often detrimental. if u’re friend wants to marry a straight up american girl, then i hope its because he sees something in her besides a sexually experienced and willing body-he could get that from a prostitute.
U’re level of sexual expertise in no way guarentees maturity and security, it doesnt mean that she’s looking at u for the “real” you
i was born and raised here-both my parents desi culture, as well as the american culture i grew up in influences me. I still feel like some people try waaaaay to hard to deny what is an undeniable part of them…
Roman: I don't think it should be about Pakistani or walayatee girls. WOmen are the same all over. Just as there are walayatee sexual dynamos, there are also Pakistani. Reminds of a story...I will tell uyou about this Paki girl I knew in NYC, circa 1992. Scared the bejeezus out of me. Me being a pious hindu and all. Tell him not to lose heart and go after each equally hard.
P.s. PCG: Do tell more...
Women change after marriage. Some eat cake and change others eat russ gulla and change. It's a universal phenomenon. Tell him not to get married.
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I can agree with your last point. A test drive is definitely needed before the purchase.
[quote]
Women change after marriage. Some eat cake and change others eat russ gulla and change. It's a universal phenomenon.
[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
True.
Romano, yr friend sounds immature, and immature men make bad husbands, regardless of whom they marry. Tell him to put off marriage till he grows up.
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Even if they are the right age and not married. Not having experienced the other side makes them no authority on either marriage or sex. i say...pipe down..clam up..sit back and learn..
Well whatever.. hope things work out for yr pal
The most critical question is:
Does he have some kinky sexual fantasies that he fears will not be fulfilled by a desi woman but will by a white woman?
well Roman, your friend is totally off track now.
He might have some bad experience with Paki women/gals. or he might have some really fatish fantasies for his life which he think neither of the Paki women can fulfill
But as like PCG said, being Paki women doenst mean that she wont be good for bed.
Now even our girls are getting pretty much active in life. I hope you are getting the point.
and Ana, I do agree with you , but I really feel that girls of these days dont want to be taken care of that much, after some time they start to think that they are being treated as child, which offcourse aint the case.
I really think that if we start living our lives according to the teaching of Islam, then that would solve all of our problems, coz the amount of respect and care that is given by Islam to Women is unmtched by any other religion.
but for doing that we need proper education.
There are rights and duties defined for everyone in Islam, and believe me they lead to a very happy life.
and I was really amazed to read about the rights of Women, If every Male regardless if he is Father, Son, Husband what ever would start giving his related Female her rights, the problems will end,
and at the same end, Females also need to be educated for there rights and duties.
so every partner have to play his/her role, but for that we need proper education, Some ppl do feel Islam is very restrictive especially ppl who are far away from the centre of Islamic Education, but if some one does study Islam with depth then surely it comes out to be very relaxing.
I definitely think that your friend isn’t quite ready to settle down just yet! If he was, whether it was a “white” girl or a desi, he’d pick the “right” person for himself. It’s very easy to get caught in the trap of nitpicking what a certain person possesses and lacks. To him, what the “white” girl has may represent his ideal…I mean as outsiders we don’t know what is running through his head, so we certainly can’t judge him. However, it’s also not a question of a “white” girl being more sexually independent or more relationship-savvy than the desi girl. It may be hard to believe but there ARE “westernized” desi girls in “pardes-lands” that are adventurous and equally as experienced in relationships with the opposite sex as “white” girls…the difference being that the desi girls may (may being the operative word here) have a chance of having their morals intact. The question has to do with maturity and readiness. If the guy is mentally ready to settle down, he’ll settle down with whoever (ethnicity, race, color, etc. notwithstanding), as long as he his happy.
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Roman, i think your friend is an uber-fresh-off-the-boat-paindoo..and, “Pakistani women don’t know even how to kiss” 
..what an absolute moron!