Virginity..

[moin.ul.atiq]

Assalam-o-Alaikum guppies and guppans,
I joined this forum to ask certain questions some of which are embarassing and I dont think I can put up at other forums. I swear I had beeb waiting to ask this question for a long time now but was hesitant due to my conservative cultural values. In my department at univ. there are many gals and guys from different parts of the world and they are of my age group(19-22). Some days ago, a danish girl proposed to me and asked me to spend night at her apartment. I refused saying I am still a virgin. She could not believe me at all. Later on, she broke the news at a party where almost everyone was present and everyone was surprised- some responded with loud laugh. They found it really hard to believe a guy of my age (21, almost 22) is still a virgin. Now, everyone knows me by the name of “the virgin boy”. It is very embarrasing for me to be adressed like that. More than, no one believes I dont have a gf. This is the question for american/canadian/British/european guppies- is no one virgin here in his/her early 20s? how do I “cover” myself up- should I make up some story saying I have a gf back home or something? The danish girl who showed interest in me still is clueless as to why ppl have sex after marriage. Do all Pakistanis who come to the west lose their virginity like westerners.. if not, how do they manage to answer these very embarassing questions.. Some even said to me to check if I am not a gay since I never had with anyone yet… Kya zamana aa gaya hai .. mein kaddey ve nahin sochay si..

[farishta2]

Re: Virginity..

you are hanging out with the wrong crowd buddy...there are still some decent people out there..you just haven't gotten around them. I say you quit hanging out with these people. These kinds of comments/judgments will (God forbid) make you do things that you might regret in later life...

[coolmyra]

Re: Virginity..

don't worry what people have to say to you because tommorow they'll move on to something different, but i agree if they are making fun of you on that they aren't the right people. That's something thats special and should be given to the person you marry.. Otherwise you'll always regret it.

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Virginity..

@moin.ul.atiq

Assalam-o-Alaikum guppies and guppans,
I joined this forum to ask certain questions some of which are embarassing and I dont think I can put up at other forums. I swear I had beeb waiting to ask this question for a long time now but was hesitant due to my conservative cultural values. In my department at univ. there are many gals and guys from different parts of the world and they are of my age group(19-22). Some days ago, a danish girl proposed to me and asked me to spend night at her apartment. I refused saying I am still a virgin. She could not believe me at all. Later on, she broke the news at a party where almost everyone was present and everyone was surprised- some responded with loud laugh. They found it really hard to believe a guy of my age (21, almost 22) is still a virgin. Now, everyone knows me by the name of “the virgin boy”. It is very embarrasing for me to be adressed like that. More than, no one believes I dont have a gf. This is the question for american/canadian/British/european guppies- is no one virgin here in his/her early 20s? how do I “cover” myself up- should I make up some story saying I have a gf back home or something? The danish girl who showed interest in me still is clueless as to why ppl have sex after marriage. Do all Pakistanis who come to the west lose their virginity like westerners.. if not, how do they manage to answer these very embarassing questions.. Some even said to me to check if I am not a gay since I never had with anyone yet… Kya zamana aa gaya hai .. mein kaddey ve nahin sochay si..

The second most azeem Gunah (after shirk) is zinna. Just pray to Allah (swt) to give you naik hidayaat and inshAllah you’ll get through it. Have confidence in your values and convince yourself that you’re better than these people. InshAllah you’ll be granted prosperity in this life and in ackhrat.

btw, also take it as a compliment and thank Allah that you’re being hit on; be flattered but stay on siratul-mustakeem.

[S02]

Re: Virginity..

You are not alone -- plenty of people (Muslim and Non-Muslim) are virgins at this age and many choose to stay virgins until marriage. Note that many people probably laugh and call people names because they are uncomfortable with their own lack of experience as well.

Do not let a few ignorant and immature people change your values. And do not be ashamed of who you are.

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Virginity..

I hope to God all you muslim girls are virgins.

It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I find out that muslim girls have been active before marriage.

[Light_Bearer]

Re: Virginity..

@moin.ul.atiq

Assalam-o-Alaikum guppies and guppans,
I joined this forum to ask certain questions some of which are embarassing and I dont think I can put up at other forums. I swear I had beeb waiting to ask this question for a long time now but was hesitant due to my conservative cultural values. In my department at univ. there are many gals and guys from different parts of the world and they are of my age group(19-22). Some days ago, a danish girl proposed to me and asked me to spend night at her apartment. I refused saying I am still a virgin. She could not believe me at all. Later on, she broke the news at a party where almost everyone was present and everyone was surprised- some responded with loud laugh. They found it really hard to believe a guy of my age (21, almost 22) is still a virgin. Now, everyone knows me by the name of “the virgin boy”. It is very embarrasing for me to be adressed like that. More than, no one believes I dont have a gf. This is the question for american/canadian/British/european guppies- is no one virgin here in his/her early 20s? how do I “cover” myself up- should I make up some story saying I have a gf back home or something? The danish girl who showed interest in me still is clueless as to why ppl have sex after marriage. Do all Pakistanis who come to the west lose their virginity like westerners.. if not, how do they manage to answer these very embarassing questions.. Some even said to me to check if I am not a gay since I never had with anyone yet… Kya zamana aa gaya hai .. mein kaddey ve nahin sochay si..

Yaar sidhi jai gal aye. 90% of your so called friends are probably lying to you, there are not many oppertunities in Pakistan.

If they are making fun of you and if it has become a never ending story quit seeing them. Ask them grow up.

Do what you think is right. Do not let anyone pressurize you in doing something which is neither morally nor religiously or culturaly acceptable to you.

[COCO]

Re: Virginity..

There are lots of people who are virgins at this age and some even later..i think you are hanging around the wrong crowd.

[Terrible_Guy]

Re: Virginity..

@moin.ul.atiq

Assalam-o-Alaikum guppies and guppans,
I joined this forum to ask certain questions some of which are embarassing and I dont think I can put up at other forums. I swear I had beeb waiting to ask this question for a long time now but was hesitant due to my conservative cultural values. In my department at univ. there are many gals and guys from different parts of the world and they are of my age group(19-22). Some days ago, a danish girl proposed to me and asked me to spend night at her apartment. I refused saying I am still a virgin. She could not believe me at all. Later on, she broke the news at a party where almost everyone was present and everyone was surprised- some responded with loud laugh. They found it really hard to believe a guy of my age (21, almost 22) is still a virgin. Now, everyone knows me by the name of “the virgin boy”. It is very embarrasing for me to be adressed like that. More than, no one believes I dont have a gf. This is the question for american/canadian/British/european guppies- is no one virgin here in his/her early 20s? how do I “cover” myself up- should I make up some story saying I have a gf back home or something? The danish girl who showed interest in me still is clueless as to why ppl have sex after marriage. Do all Pakistanis who come to the west lose their virginity like westerners.. if not, how do they manage to answer these very embarassing questions.. Some even said to me to check if I am not a gay since I never had with anyone yet… Kya zamana aa gaya hai .. mein kaddey ve nahin sochay si..

If I were you, I would have just said that I’m Muslim, therefore I can’t do that rather than to say that I’m a virgin so that I can’t do that. As some people have already said, you’re hanging around with the wrong people. My virginity never became an issue for me because of other people, but if they would have said anything about it, I would have been firm on the point that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Then after a while, they’ll get bored of teasing you about it. Either that or they’ll get frustrated that you just don’t care.

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@COCO

There are lots of people who are virgins at this age and some even later..i think you are hanging around the wrong crowd.

The danish gal says she’s been with multiple guys since she was 16 and she says thats the right time to lose virginity and “enjoy”. She also added that she can make a movie about me telling how do I managed to remain a virgin.

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@Light_Bearer

Yaar sidhi jai gal aye. 90% of your so called friends are probably lying to you, there are not many oppertunities in Pakistan.

If they are making fun of you and if it has become a never ending story quit seeing them. Ask them grow up.

Do what you think is right. Do not let anyone pressurize you in doing something which is neither morally nor religiously or culturaly acceptable to you.

:k: very good reply indeed. thanks!

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@Anil_Khan

The second most azeem Gunah (after shirk) is zinna. Just pray to Allah (swt) to give you naik hidayaat and inshAllah you'll get through it. Have confidence in your values and convince yourself that you're better than these people. InshAllah you'll be granted prosperity in this life and in ackhrat.

btw, also take it as a compliment and thank Allah that you're being hit on; be flattered but stay on siratul-mustakeem.

absolutely right, brother.. its a azeem gunah and lot of ppl dont understand it.. there's a beauty in being loyal to your legally married wife. I have been hit on many a times.. sometimes it becomes a problem in rejecting the proposal as I feel I am hurting a beautiful girl :(

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@Terrible_Guy

If I were you, I would have just said that I'm Muslim, therefore I can't do that rather than to say that I'm a virgin so that I can't do that. As some people have already said, you're hanging around with the wrong people. My virginity never became an issue for me because of other people, but if they would have said anything about it, I would have been firm on the point that there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Then after a while, they'll get bored of teasing you about it. Either that or they'll get frustrated that you just don't care.

Many thanks indeed brother for such a nice reply.. what if you get married after 30? Is it advisable to remain virgin till then too?

[The_Voice]

Re: Virginity..

at least they didnt call u gay

[Lusi]

Re: Virginity..

@Anil_Khan

I hope to God all you muslim girls are virgins.

It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I find out that muslim girls have been active before marriage.

What about guys?

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@Lusi

What about guys?

Lusijee, what my brother Anil khan’s saying that losing virginity has a different effect on a female body’s than a guy’s body.. tell me one thing, you can easily tell a gal has lost virginity but you can’t really tell whether a guy has lost his virginity just by looking at him.. In Islam, it is haraam for a respectable to lose her virginity before marriage. A lot of ppl in my univ. told me that most of the Pakistani girls become “liberal” after coming to the west and consider virginity a state of mind.. what rubbish

[Lusi]

Re: Virginity..

@moin.ul.atiq

Lusijee, what my brother Anil khan’s saying that losing virginity has a different effect on a female body’s than a guy’s body.. tell me one thing, you can easily tell a gal has lost virginity but you can’t really tell whether a guy has lost his virginity just by looking at him.. **In Islam, it is haraam for a respectable to lose her virginity before marriage. **A lot of ppl in my univ. told me that most of the Pakistani girls become “liberal” after coming to the west and consider virginity a state of mind.. what rubbish

oh and how can you tell just by looking at them…this is new to me…

In Islam, it is haram for both of them to lose virginity before marriage not just women. And which liberal women are considering virginity state of mind… too much generalization going on in here…some of your friends don’t represent the entire liberel muslim women population of america or west.

[queer]

Re: Virginity..

moin pai, if you dont use it by the time you are 25, your body kills of your mojo. you are guaranteed a crappy sex life, with a partner who is equally horrible in bed.

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@Lusi

oh and how can you tell just by looking at them...this is new to me...

In Islam, it is haram for both of them to lose virginity before marriage not just women. And which liberal women are considering virginity state of mind... too much generalization going on in here...some of your friends don't represent the entire liberel muslim women population of america or west.

This is obviously not generalization but its mostly true.. I can tell you that. You've not met many Pakistani women bred in the west... The ones who are born and raised in the west are not the type who are born and raised in Pakistan under parental guidance. In the west, parents dont have a say in raising their daughter neither can they question where their beti is going or who are their friends.. having bf before marriage these days for expatriat Pakistani larkis- My gora/gori friends told me and they generally dont lie

[moin.ul.atiq]

Re: Virginity..

@queer

moin pai, if you dont use it by the time you are 25, your body kills of your mojo. you are guaranteed a crappy sex life, with a partner who is equally horrible in bed.

whats a mojo by the way? I guess sex is very emotional/mental rather than a physical thing. The more you understand the other person, the more you enjoy being with her/him in the bed.. crossing the silver jubilee has nothing to do it I believe.. how is it in India by the way? Similar to the west or similar to the next door neighbor if I may ask?