VIRGINITY AND MEN

Afridi786 · September 7, 2007, 1:57pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

The reason why a non virgin man may still desire a virgin woman has got to be what sex means to each. Most men lose their virginty because they got the chance. Sex is a purely physical act for a man, it doesnt have to have any emotions involved. Men will have sex with anyone (anything) that is willing o take them. A woman is a completely different story. The only time woman will let a man have her, particularly the first time, is when she is very deeply emotionally involved with the man. It is this single fact that makes men insecure, that their woman loved someone else so much, probably a lot more than them, that she shared herself with him. Just like a woman cannot accept that their man loves someone else, the idea is far more difficult for men to digest.

The interesting thing about the whole virginity debate is that nowadays you come across all types of virgin women. A man is of only two kinds, virgin or not. A woman can however be any of the following.

Extra Extra Virgin: apure virgin in every sense of the word. being in a pure or natural state. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored. The most she has gone to is probably kissing another man.

Extra Virgin: This is a virgin with a twist. She has had boyfriend(s) but has never been prodded in any of the orifices. Some of her body parts may have been caressed, fondled or licked, yet she still classifies herself a virgin.

Experimantal Virgin: These are the ones who can inhale a keilbasa like a toothpick, yet considers themselves pure as their experimentation has been limited to oral or even just cyber. They may have helped themselves on the cam for their boyfriends pleasure or they may even have let men soak their fingers in the icky sticky but no genital to genital probe.

The Backstreet Buccaneer: Yes you guessed it, but no more than that. Virgin, my a$$

**The Lying Virgin: **Yup, your friend has had them but they would swear they are virgins.

**The Secondary Virgins: **Yup, you heard me right. These are the ones who admit to having had sex before, but now they are saving themselves for their man. Come again :rotato:

So what is virginity? For some people it lies in the hole and not about experiences. In my POV, other than the extra extra kind all other types are in denial.

LMAO…ur frikkin awesome man.

PyariCgudia · September 7, 2007, 9:47pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

Ashtray, I find it funny that you guys philosophize so much into this stuff. Whatever happened to her personality...? Her sense of religion...?

I mean, wouldn't you go for a born-again muslim girl who may have had a shady past, and now is totally on the right track and would make a great life partner? Or would you choose the innocent hijaabi who thinks the word "sex" is just a misspelling for "six", and yet is the most closed-minded and uneducated person in the world? I know I'm using opposite ends of the spectrum, but that's only to make you guys (not you in particular ashtray) realize that there are all kinds of women, and to box them into these personalities is viewing women as nothing more than brands of beef. Within one category you've defined here, you'll find women with all kinds of different personalities, views, habits, etc.

Try to look at the person. Not what's happened to the "hole". After all, its just a hole. Its going to end up looking like a... well anyway, it all looks disgusting and saggy and used in the end anyway. You might as well have someone that you can actually get along with, rather than the hot babe to whom you can "teach" all your magic, whatever that may be.

WitchDr · September 7, 2007, 10:28pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I would not completely agree to the above and will go with LuxuryItem's explanation. This, however, reflects a change in my thought process. Sex can be a completely physical act for women as well, especially for those who have experienced real pleasure of the act, one way or the other.

WitchDr · September 7, 2007, 10:32pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I don't think personality or sense of religion were on question on ashtray's narration.

PyariCgudia · September 9, 2007, 12:34am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

Are they ever on question?

Makes me recall a recent comment on another thread here about a woman getting remarried, and she has a child from her previous marriage. Something about her being lucky to be remarried.

No wonder divorcees and widows have a hard time getting remarried. Desi guys are so focused on virginity, that they miss out on having excellent life partners that gulp might have been used before, in some capacity, even if against their will.

Not that virgins DON'T make excellent life partners. Its just that virginity really shouldn't be such a big criterion in this day and age and especially for the current desi male population, a good chunk of which is promiscuous anyway.

soniya83 · September 9, 2007, 2:55am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

PyariCgudia:

Ashtray, I find it funny that you guys philosophize so much into this stuff. Whatever happened to her personality...? Her sense of religion...?

I mean, wouldn't you go for a born-again muslim girl who may have had a shady past, and now is totally on the right track and would make a great life partner? Or would you choose the innocent hijaabi who thinks the word "sex" is just a misspelling for "six", and yet is the most closed-minded and uneducated person in the world? I know I'm using opposite ends of the spectrum, but that's only to make you guys (not you in particular ashtray) realize that there are all kinds of women, and to box them into these personalities is viewing women as nothing more than brands of beef. Within one category you've defined here, you'll find women with all kinds of different personalities, views, habits, etc.

Try to look at the person. Not what's happened to the "hole". After all, its just a hole. Its going to end up looking like a... well anyway, it all looks disgusting and saggy and used in the end anyway. You might as well have someone that you can actually get along with, rather than the hot babe to whom you can "teach" all your magic, whatever that may be.

ThankGod someone finally had the guts to say this. I totally agree. I m pretty surprised to see other guys' replies. I havent read every single post but I doubt anyone has raised the question about MEN being "virgins" or not. Like comon now, is it ALL about girl's virginity????? What about guys????? No one even asks this kindda question from guys and looks like its not even a problem. So some how "our" culture/society accepts men having to have done that?

All u guys that are focusing MADLY on this virginity of the girls, r u sure u r virgins? just cuz there is no "proof" ....... u shameless ppl talking abt women like this.

soniya83 · September 9, 2007, 2:55am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

Again, I agree.

soniya83 · September 9, 2007, 3:02am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

kaun:

In response to this question firstly i would say that keep Haraam and halal out of this issue as we all know it is haraam in our religion so the question automatically is answered if u think bout it from that perspective, Now generally speaking about this i would say i totally agree with Cheegum, what goes around comes around or somin like dat does the saying go, The reason i say that is that guys cover them up a lotta times by saying that I HAD A WEAK MOMENT and that is more then enuf for others to understand and so y cant women have the same weak moment reason as they are human too. As far as i go to me nothing in the girl`s past matters as long she is honest and loyal to me when she is with me cuz i aint no saint either. Hope i was clear enuf n e one who disagrees well its ur opinion.

I wish all guys thought like that. but nooooooooo (also, thanks for being "open-minded"

WitchDr · September 9, 2007, 9:04am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

Yes! They are. There have been plenty of threads about those discussions as well.

I believe with education, idiosyncrasies of our contemporary mindset are changing. It will become a lesser issue with time.

WitchDr · September 9, 2007, 9:11am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I believe we haven't reached that stage. Men with promiscuous behavior are equally looked down upon in our culture. However, there is a definite population, and I would dare to say mostly female, who does not look at such behavior of their son's and brother's as anything more than a playful mischief.

WitchDr · September 9, 2007, 9:27am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

You know things are not that simple as they appear on surface. You like someone to be open-minded. I am sure plenty others do. However, there will be others who will have big dislike for that attitude. Usually, in our society, pre-marital discussions cannot include such topics and the attitudes becomes clear much later after the marriages. Anyways! your wish will not be acceptable to all.

Another thing is that most of the desi girls (in my opinion - because of different insecurities) view open-mindedness as a flaw in their partner's personality. It may get translated to lack of love or lack of respect for their own behaviors.

PyariCgudia · September 9, 2007, 3:29pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

It may be looked down upon, but yet at the same time, most people turn their face to it. In our community here, about 70% at least, I'd say, of the men have at least dated with some sort of physical contact prior to marriage. Everyone knows who the guys are, because we know which girls are dating them. But they still get married. The girls who have indulged in promiscuous behavior, however, are well known, and have had to either move away to another city or bring mates in from Pakistan. Many of them are still not married.

That's been my experience at least. I don't know how it is elsewhere in the United States.

WitchDr · September 9, 2007, 3:37pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I believe in all what you wrote above apart from the "turning the face away" argument. I can't believe there are many desis who will allow their daughters, sisters, cousins to get married to known promiscuous guys.

PyariCgudia · September 9, 2007, 3:46pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

If the guy is earning mucho dineros? Its happened plenty of times. I'm telling you - all the "playboys" of my generation are married, whether they married some poor girl from another city who knew nothing of their past, or if they married some girl locally who didn't care. These girls here know the character of boys in the community, and they still run after them. Its because they're either good-looking or loaded with money or both.

Oh, and you know the type I get a real kick out of? The ones who were promiscous before, and when it came time to get married, they grew beards, did an Umrah and came back saying "Ma'ashallah, they have found Islam". A few of my friends married guys like that, and these guys are NOT virgins.

Now if you have a similar girl with a shady past who finds Islam, she falls under Ashtray's "Who is she kidding?" category.

WitchDr · September 9, 2007, 6:45pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

Similar will be the case if the girl is rich or pretty. Whatever was in her past, she will still be able to get plenty good and willing.

I hope a few of your friends who got married to these guys embraced Islam in a similar way.

PyariCgudia · September 9, 2007, 7:37pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

You never know, WitchDr, you never know. Frankly, I don't think that was the case. Islam, out here in our community, is more for show for some people. "Dekho, hum mazhab ki kitni izzat kartay hain". They'll break the same Islamic laws that they profess to uphold with such reverence.

saaretjie · September 9, 2007, 7:51pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I suppose it depends...

I personally don't care... But Maybe I will when the time comes closer for me to get married... As long as I don't know the guy... That would be weird.

Terrible_Guy · September 9, 2007, 8:26pm

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

I can't say what guys would think once they're already married. However when looking at a prospect for marriage, most guys I know would prefer a virgin.

soniya83 · September 10, 2007, 3:48am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

You never know, WitchDr, you never know. Frankly, I don't think that was the case. Islam, out here in our community, is more for show for some people. "Dekho, hum mazhab ki kitni izzat kartay hain". They'll break the same Islamic laws that they profess to uphold with such reverence.

Again, I agree with most of what pyariCgudia said. I see this happening almost all the time.

WitchDr: u say things r not as simple as they seem. plz tell me what ur point is here. men r looked downupon as well? umm not really, i have seen and heard abt men who openly talk abt thier past relationships including physical ones to their new gfs or even wives and they are not ashmed nor scared. Sadly, wives dont have a lot of choice and end up living with them and forgive them because this act of men is looked as "koi baat nahi jawani mein aisa ho jata hai" or "larka hai, phir kya hua".

And, I am DYING to know if u r a male or female (i havent checked ur profile, incase it says it there)

case_study · September 10, 2007, 4:42am

Re: VIRGINITY AND MEN

bro, you have got to be guarding your ownself, before you demand guarded self of your mate.
cheers!