Ok I’m posting here because I really need different view points on this matter.
I came to a point in life where I had given up on guys and on love. I felt that there weren’t any decent good guys out there, and felt as though for me to fall in love again would be impossible. So I decided to leave it up to my parents to find me a guy, and I would simply go the arranged route.
And now, when I least expected it, I met a guy, who is the man of my dreams. I mean he is everything I’ve wanted a guy to be like. We’re both 23 and we share so many similar views in life, so much so that he’ll steal my exact words right out of my mouth. I’d be astonished at how we can be so similar. Not only that but in so little time we’ve started liking each other and we both think we’ve found the person we’ve been looking for. Now here’s the catch…he’s in Europe and I’m in USA. Normally I never accept random people that add me on facebook, I simply ignore them. But when I saw his friend request, I dunno why but I something made me want to see his profile, and I thought if his profile is full or girls or nonsense I’ll simply remove him. The moment I saw his profile, I was amazed. This guy masha’Allah he’s sooo into his religion (not in an extremist way) but his profile is full of Islamic and Quranic quotes and he studies the Qur’an and lives life by its principles. We’ve been writing multiple long facebook messages to each other along with msn chatting for only 5 days. I’ve really fallen for this guy…it sounds crazy and at times I don’t want to believe it, but for some reason I believe he’s being honest and has pure intentions. He’s told me he’s talked to many girls but never found someone who shares the same views as him. He also said he’s never had feelings for someone in his life because he just wasn’t interested…and he says everyone in the community know what he’s like, so noone tries to flirt or get with him.
The thing is, is it possible for 2 people to feel like their soulmates, that too in such a short amount of period? Day 5 and he’s said “I love you” and it’s funny because the night before when I was messaging him, I wanted to write those exact words to him, but I stopped myself saying this is ridiculous and it’s too soon? And Day 5 comes and lo and behold, he says it. Do you guys think it’s too good to be true? Can wonderful guys like him exist nowadays?
Update: we just skyped…he looks amazing..but he has a strong Punjabi accent (I’m urdu speaking)..but his english and the European language he speaks sounds amazing. Also he lives with his family and they only have 1 car? Everyone in my family has a car each..and he wants me to be a part of the joint family system for 1 or 2 years…whereas I’ve never been open to joint family systems but I’m willing to compromise…how crazy is all this?
well it’s too good to be true, it might be true but tht’s got a one in 0.1 billion chance to be true…waiting for a couple of months more aint a good idea either from my point of view…if he really loves you ask him to make this whole thing official, u knw what i mean?..and if this thing does go on, after it’s official, then make things clear abt u not wanting to go for the joint family option, cause although u are willing to compromise now, u never knw how u will feel after a coupla years…could be positive or negative, so it’s better to clear everything right from the start…and yeah one thing, NEVER ever trust someone u met on the net completely, never write anything which u dnt want to go public! best of luck:k:
Only 5 days on MSN and he's not only told you that he loves you but has envisioned a whole future with you??? I know everyone is different as far as emotions are concerned, but I personally find that too fast and rushed.
There are so many factors to consider when it comes to compatibility for marriage. It's an enormous decision and can't be made based on 5 days of MSN chatting and a couple days of Skyping.
I think it's great that you both have communicated in a variety of ways (Facebook messages, hearing each others' voice). But you still won't get a real feel of what an individual is like until you meet them in person. That face-to-face interaction (where you get to observe body language, family dynamics, etc) is very important. *** And until both of your families talk/meet, I really think it's better if you SLOW DOWN and not get ahead of yourself.
Ok, I can understand that kind of a connection. I felt a very strong connection with my bf when I first met him. But the love stuff took months.
Give it time. Please give it time. This guy may be the one. That is likely. But do NOT make any decision for at least a year. Keep talking to him but don't sell yourself just yet. Tell him that too, that he should take it slow.
And please do NOT try to make it official just yet, like someone mentioned up there. Five days is not enough to decide if you should marry him. If in case the guy is not being honest, you will find out shortly enough - just be smart about it.
liessssssss is what it is... i dont wanna be the one to break it down to you sweety, but FORGET IT! hes a fake. even if hes not NO ONE says i love you on the 5th day . this is crazy insane and i mean INSANE. i know AND YOU KNOW very well that ur probably gona ignore all these replies on GS and continue talking to him. be careful though. like someone said earlier be careful on what you say/type online. good luck.
5 days of online chatting/skyping is nothing. I'm assuming you have not told your parents about him and he has not told his parents about you. You are both 23. Before you start thinking about how many cars his family has or living in a joint family system with him....why don't you discuss with him HOW and WHEN does he plan to meet you in person? Will he come to the U.S. with his parents to meet you? Or does he expect you to travel to the his country with your parents to meet him? Why don't you mention him to your mom and see what she says?
LOL.....most jobs in the U.S. have a 90 days probationary period...and you're set on this guy as your life partner after 5 days?! Let us know how things are in 3 months.
For your sake, I hope you're not getting played....even though my instinct says otherwise.
Ok I’m posting here because I really need different view points on this matter.
I came to a point in life where I had given up on guys and on love. I felt that there weren’t any decent good guys out there, and felt as though for me to fall in love again would be impossible. So I decided to leave it up to my parents to find me a guy, and I would simply go the arranged route.
And now, when I least expected it, I met a guy, who is the man of my dreams. I mean he is everything I’ve wanted a guy to be like. We’re both 23 and we share so many similar views in life, so much so that he’ll steal my exact words right out of my mouth. I’d be astonished at how we can be so similar. Not only that but in so little time we’ve started liking each other and we both think we’ve found the person we’ve been looking for. Now here’s the catch....he’s in Europe and I’m in USA. Normally I never accept random people that add me on facebook, I simply ignore them. But when I saw his friend request, I dunno why but I something made me want to see his profile, and I thought if his profile is full or girls or nonsense I’ll simply remove him. The moment I saw his profile, I was amazed. This guy masha’Allah he’s sooo into his religion (not in an extremist way) but his profile is full of Islamic and Quranic quotes and he studies the Qur’an and lives life by its principles. We’ve been writing multiple long facebook messages to each other along with msn chatting for only 5 days. I’ve really fallen for this guy…it sounds crazy and at times I don’t want to believe it, but for some reason I believe he’s being honest and has pure intentions. He’s told me he’s talked to many girls but never found someone who shares the same views as him. He also said he’s never had feelings for someone in his life because he just wasn’t interested…and he says everyone in the community know what he’s like, so noone tries to flirt or get with him.
The thing is, is it possible for 2 people to feel like their soulmates, that too in such a short amount of period? Day 5 and he’s said “I love you” and it’s funny because the night before when I was messaging him, I wanted to write those exact words to him, but I stopped myself saying this is ridiculous and it's too soon? And Day 5 comes and lo and behold, he says it. Do you guys think it’s too good to be true? Can wonderful guys like him exist nowadays?
Update: we just skyped…he looks amazing..but he has a strong Punjabi accent (I’m urdu speaking)..but his english and the European language he speaks sounds amazing. Also he lives with his family and they only have 1 car? Everyone in my family has a car each..and he wants me to be a part of the joint family system for 1 or 2 years…whereas I’ve never been open to joint family systems but I’m willing to compromise…how crazy is all this?
And what makes yo think he is what you see online?
Besides, the question should be:
Is it possible to fake being the soul mate?
The answer is big yes. This is how mostly women get fooled probably every hour if not every minute in this world...;)
5 days of online chatting/skyping is nothing. I'm assuming you have not told your parents about him and he has not told his parents about you. You are both 23. Before you start thinking about how many cars his family has or living in a joint family system with him....why don't you discuss with him HOW and WHEN does he plan to meet you in person? Will he come to the U.S. with his parents to meet you? Or does he expect you to travel to the his country with your parents to meet him? Why don't you mention him to your mom and see what she says?
LOL.....most jobs in the U.S. have a 90 days probationary period...and you're set on this guy as your life partner after 5 days?! Let us know how things are in 3 months.
For your sake, I hope you're not getting played....even though my instinct says otherwise.
i agree with most things..
but i reckon sometimes u just know... maybe not in 5 days though. A month or so is prob arrite
I really have no idea whether the guy is real or faking it, that's something Haaniya will most likely discover for herself. But just to play devil's advocate, what is so wrong to develop feelings for one another after five days of talking? In arranged marriages, how much chance do the two people get to talk and get to know one another before they have to give an answer? I'm sure that it is a lot less in the amount of talking and getting to know one another. And I'm not talking about arranged marriages to one's cousin who you know your entire life, but to someone you probably don't know much at all. The person will probably be on their best behaviour (if they are serious about the matter) so you won't really get to know the real person til much later. Again, I'm not saying I know whether the OP's friend in Europe is genuine or not, but their feelings seem so, especially hers, and it's easy for us to judge those from this distance.
To Haaniya, I hope you are not disappointed by how things turn out. This is a big chance you are taking, because it could all blow up in your face. If I was you I would still try to find out more about him somehow if it's possible. I wish you luck and sometimes taking the road less traveled does make all the difference.
Yes, this is the other side to it. If you are used to a certain standard of lifestyle as you mentioned, your own car and expecting to live on your own, then you are going to be in for a shock. At least the dude has been upfront about the one car/joint family thing. These may seem like insignificant things now, but other stuff is bound to come up, and unfortunately love doesn’t conquer all. So again try to find out more, and be careful too, othwerwise buyer’s remorse will prevail.
Seriously, 5 days?? How can he steal your words or complete your sentences in 5 days... of facebooking and msn? And he's already mentioning the joint system stuff??
Give this LOTS of time. He's in some European country... France, the Netherlands, wherever... he's far away. You're used to your lifestyle here. You don't know if what he is telling you is the truth. He could be flipping burgers wherever he is. He could be some illegal immigrant. The list is endless. So be careful.
And take a good look at his friends and his wall. Does it seem like he adds random people often? I never add the random strangers unless it seems like they're in the same organizations as me and there are high chances we'll meet.
Love is what builds over time...infatuation is that instant rush of emotions you feel. You can definitely mistake infatuation for love but never the other way around.
My advice:
Slow down...you're 23 not 43...you are in no rush. In order for you to make a sound decision, you two have to meet, he has to meet your parents and see your lifestyle, you have to meet his parents and see his lifestyle, see his community, etc.
