This proposal was through his aunt. We just cross checked his particulars from various web sites initially and everything seemed perfect then. His aunt and my mom also had mutual friends. So we never thought he would be a divorcee with a kid and they would hide this from us. Of course, my mom did not do any inquiry because it is supposed to be done later.
How to find someone whom we actually know? There was this uncle's son whom we knew and then again he was already involved with someone and simply rejected me coz of that. See known guys cannot always be shareef and available :p
The fact that you didnt know he was with someone or was a divorcee makes him a total stranger.
The fact that you didnt know he was with someone or was a divorcee makes him a total stranger.
We knew his parents for 30 years. These things happen in rishta thing and you do not necessarily meet THE ONE in your uni or work. That does not mean we do not marry coz we do not know anyone.
He was just not the right guy for you. Move on... God must have something much better for. Remember, things happen for good, you will find it out someday sooner or later.
You knew them for 30 years, yet they never even told you their son got married (and divorced)... hmm
She was referring to another rishta when she said her family knew them for 30 years:
How to find someone whom we actually know? There was this uncle's son whom we knew and then again he was already involved with someone and simply rejected me coz of that. See known guys cannot always be shareef and available :p
You knew them for 30 years, yet they never even told you their son got married (and divorced)... hmm
You are mixing two situations. This uncle's son proposal is different one which I mentioned when u asked that people should get married to only those whom they knew from before. I told you my uncle did not tell us that their son was interested somewhere else and they were forcing him to marry me.
If I was in his shoes…and I have been…I dont have a child but I am divorced…I might have gotten excited too in the beginning because you never know…this could be The One. But as I get to know the person at times its become very apparent that he just isnt the kind of guy I would spend my life with. Maybe he felt your idea of divorcees or people with a past or mindset was not what he was looking for. So he lost interest but didnt give any explanations. Sometimes people dont feel they need to and sometimes they just do not care to. He should have but he didnt.
You will go through many many people. Some of them will like you and some of them wont…and vice versa. What will you do? Every time you meet someone you kind of like you will attach yourself and then become even more scared of people? You cannot marry or make friends that way.
And as far as divorcees are concerned…you say you’ve been looking for quite sometime and this is the first time where things looked a bit rosy. Has it occurred to you that maybe there is something wrong with your approach?
My family’s approach was family involvement since the begining which did happen in this case. His aunt and my mom had found that they had some mutual friends. May be Good family background and mutual friends etc were the reasons we never thought he can be a divorcee and would hide this from us because neither him nor any of his family members told us this thing. We had been quite wrong in judging him.
May be it was in our sub-conscious mind that if there is any such thing, the family should have moral responsibility to tell the girl’s family. Even I advised this guy that I do not belong to very well to do family like his family does (because we have lost our dad) so that he should proceed ONLY if he thinks ok about my family status and he liked me being very open and straight forward. He could have taken that opportunity to tell me about his divorce. May be NOT everyone in this world is as straight forward.
^ He didn't argue about it when you "accused him" of being a divorcee. So what's left to discuss? He told you to move on. He did nothing to make excuses for himself or explain himself to you. And you're still obsessing because he spams your inbox?
^ He didn't argue about it when you "accused him" of being a divorcee. So what's left to discuss? He told you to move on. He did nothing to make excuses for himself or explain himself to you. And you're still obsessing because he spams your inbox?
Yeah.. I think I shud grow up now :( Thanks everyone to making me more mature. Its just that this thing has been lingering on for about a year and automatically led to have thinking about it. I have never been in a relationship, do not have many male friends. So do not know about guys behaviour. I was in the impression that the families were involved in this proposal and there cannot be anything wrong and everything would be going in shareefana ways (whether Yes or No). Anyways, I have become more matured now :D
I have already moved on. But he somehow re-appears in front of me. He keeps sending me forward emails and have not deleted me from his msn contact list. May be all guys are like that.
He has been facing very strong opposition from his mom. *May be he just wanted to look for a divorced girl (which he can do by making a fake divorced profile of himself) so that his mom agrees on me (at least I am single). *
I do not know. But he never hinted that he was a divorcee. We had been in touch with his complete family and no one hinted that. It is a very respectable and educated family and we never expected that from that (if that is the truth).
Dear,
This is just ur assupmtion, u are not cent% sure abt his past right? i dont u/stand y are u being puzzled and assuming things like that he is playing game with his mom to agree for you still? wen u have already seen his profile on anothr matromonial site? I suspect from ur posts that u are some how more interested in the guy rather then him, plz dont waste ur precious time on someone who does'nt hold guts to tell u the truth...
2ndly why would he hint you about his divorcee status? there's a bunch of ppl who really plays these kind a games and the hidden truths appears gradually when u hve no way to escape...
Dear,
This is just ur assupmtion, u are not cent% sure abt his past right? i dont u/stand y are u being puzzled and assuming things like that he is playing game with his mom to agree for you still? wen u have already seen his profile on anothr matromonial site? I suspect from ur posts that u are some how more interested in the guy rather then him, plz dont waste ur precious time on someone who does'nt hold guts to tell u the truth...
2ndly why would he hint you about his divorcee status? there's a bunch of ppl who really plays these kind a games and the hidden truths appears gradually when u hve no way to escape...
It was just that my family never ever expected such things from a good family like his and it came as a shock to us. May be we do not have a good exposure of people out there. Being involved in this rishta for many months, I got attached, which was quite natural. But I am trying to move on. My mom pursuing my rishtas elsewhere and I am fully supporting her. I hope Allah Swt has the best in store for me.
It was just that my family never ever expected such things from a good family like his and it came as a shock to us. May be we do not have a good exposure of people out there. Being involved in this rishta for many months, I got attached, which was quite natural. But I am trying to move on. My mom pursuing my rishtas elsewhere and I am fully supporting her. I hope Allah Swt has the best in store for me.
yes, just hve faith in Almighty, and move forward , things will be good for you InshAllah :)
