This all started one year ago. I was introduced by my family to this guy through his aunt in UAE, he lives in US. He wanted to talk to me, we talked like 4-5 hours and he liked me a lot. We had a meeting with his aunt, his and his mom etc on video chat. No contact from his family since then. He came to meet me and my family after 2 months when I told him my mom can finalise things for me. He went back to USA and remained in contact on email to me telling me that his mom is interested somewhere else but he is interested in me and he wanted to be in touch. We said we will inform him if we finalise things anywhere.
I sent him an email after every 3 months telling him that nothing is finalized on my side. He kept on saying that things are going nowhere with him and that I shud keep him in the loop.
Then in January, when I emailed him, he finally asked me to move on as he was already guilty to make me wait although he said he never intended that. And he chatted with me and asked me about my rishta situation and if anything is going to happen soon and I told him these things take time and I can still be in touch until something is finalized on my side. But he still asked me to move on. Then I deleted him from my chats.
But he kept on sending me forward emails for two months and he also sent these to the whole of his family. Then my family saw his profile on one matrimony site where he listed himself as divorcee with one kid. He made this profile since the time he asked me to wait for him after meeting me. I wonder if this was true coz he belongs to a very nice family and we never had a hint about his divorce. I sent him an email advising him that we now know about his divorce n kid and I wish him good luck. The objective of my email to him was that he shud stop all contact with me. He replied “Thank u much”. Since then he is not coming much on that matrimonial site.
I know he still has kept me in his contact list. Now dun ask me how… Its just a computer trick and it has proved to be accurate…
No, I do not have any hopes from him. We are proceeding with other proposals but no proposal seems to be as good as him. I am just unable to understand his behaviour. He is a mature guy, not a teenager. He liked me a lot and we clicked instantly. He said he would never do an arranged marriage n he wanted to proceed with me.
I need to know about this guy’s behaviour. We are 99% sure that he is not a divorcee. Then why is he doing so? May be he wants to show some divorcee girl to his mom so that his mom agrees on me? Does he not want to let go of me? May be he still has hope that him mom will agree and he will contact me to know if I am still single?
Any thoughts on this??? Only serious replies please.
I don't know of ANYONE who would lie and say they were a divorcee when they are not. I've seen the reverse - where guys lie about never being married and turns out they were married and have kids.
I think he lied to your family - his profile is probably correct. Time to move on!
WHY would anyone fake a divorcee status? I really doubt any reason would be good enough for this insane behavior.
We are not sure whether he is divorcee or not. His and his family behaviour was not hideous. Besides that, it he was divorcee, why would his mom object to his choice (i.e. me). He did not acknowledge that he is a divorcee. He just did not give any explanation to me.
1) Would you be ok marrying him if he was indeed a divorcee?
No, thats why I wanted to let him know that we NOW know about his divorce n kid. But he still had kept me on his msn contact list. Is it normal for guys to keep girls on contacts after 'break-up'?
2) What makes him stand out from the other lot of guys you seem to have rejected?
Over all this rishta was very gud. I have not rejected anyone. No one has accepted me till now :P
Its time to move on dear.... if he has lied to you
if he is lying on that website then he is mentally sick and its time to run away from him....... bhagooooo
and you should be thank of God that He has saved you from some mentally sick man :p.
I don't know of ANYONE who would lie and say they were a divorcee when they are not. I've seen the reverse - where guys lie about never being married and turns out they were married and have kids.
I think he lied to your family - his profile is probably correct. Time to move on!
I have already moved on. But he somehow re-appears in front of me. He keeps sending me forward emails and have not deleted me from his msn contact list. May be all guys are like that.
He has been facing very strong opposition from his mom. May be he just wanted to look for a divorced girl (which he can do by making a fake divorced profile of himself) so that his mom agrees on me (at least I am single).
I do not know. But he never hinted that he was a divorcee. We had been in touch with his complete family and no one hinted that. It is a very respectable and educated family and we never expected that from that (if that is the truth).
We are 99% sure that he is not a divorcee. Then why is he doing so? May be he wants to show some divorcee girl to his mom so that his mom agrees on me?
Naah, no one would claim to be a divorcee with a kid if he/she is not. He was lying to you, plain and simple.
May be he just wanted to look for a divorced girl (which he can do by making a fake divorced profile of himself) so that his mom agrees on me (at least I am single).
this rishta situation isn't what is complex. it is your "logic". sounds like you like the guy and want him and need a plausible story to make it all work.
May be he was not that much interested as you were.
may be his mind was changed in US.
I always support the idea of multiple rishta processing at the same time.
usually, in our society girl side stick with one guy for years, while at the same time guy looks other opportunities.
in my opinion, your mother should also consider more than one rishta for you.
I have already moved on. But he somehow re-appears in front of me. He keeps sending me forward emails and have not deleted me from his msn contact list. May be all guys are like that.
Msn contact list? I think you're making too much of it. Unless I needed to block someone or something, I wouldn't even bother removing people from my list. I still have contacts on that I haven't spoken to in over five years.
I have already moved on. But he somehow re-appears in front of me. He keeps sending me forward emails and have not deleted me from his msn contact list. May be all guys are like that.
He has been facing very strong opposition from his mom. May be he just wanted to look for a divorced girl (which he can do by making a fake divorced profile of himself) so that his mom agrees on me (at least I am single).
I do not know. But he never hinted that he was a divorcee. We had been in touch with his complete family and no one hinted that. It is a very respectable and educated family and we never expected that from that (if that is the truth).
what do you think Ashi that only uneducated families do fraud. Don't judge a book by its cover only.
If he is looking for a divorce girl.. he could find her by showing his status single (if he is single). many single men and women prefer to marry divorce or widow men or women. don't defend him here :p. he has lied to you or he is misguiding others people. Do you think that it is right to use some other girl (that too divorce) to get what he wants... by playing some other girls emotions. be reasonable here.
I have already moved on. But he somehow re-appears in front of me. He keeps sending me forward emails and have not deleted me from his msn contact list. May be all guys are like that.
He has been facing very strong opposition from his mom. May be he just wanted to look for a divorced girl (which he can do by making a fake divorced profile of himself) so that his mom agrees on me (at least I am single).
I do not know. But he never hinted that he was a divorcee. We had been in touch with his complete family and no one hinted that. It is a very respectable and educated family and we never expected that from that (if that is the truth).
Listen dear, it seems there are lots of things you dont know here. So either you talk to him and find out OR the saner thing to do is move on and look forward.
If he just wanted to drag things along with his family, he could have done so with tons other ways, but NOT by listing himself as a divorcee.
It is in human nature that when road ahead is blurry, we tend to look in the rear view mirror every now and then. We all have done that in the past and you may be doing it right now. But rather than looking in the rear view, press on the accelerator and drive ahead
Yeah but I am confused and hopes that if this guy really is a divorcee, he does not contact me ever again. Thats why I have told him that we now know about his divorce.
No, thats why I wanted to let him know that we NOW know about his divorce n kid. But he still had kept me on his msn contact list. Is it normal for guys to keep girls on contacts after 'break-up'?
No, it is not normal to keep your contact after such lie.
He has no self respect.
Yeah but I am confused and hopes that if this guy really is a divorcee, he does not contact me ever again. Thats why I have told him that we now know about his divorce.
You have the option of not letting him contact you :)
Be honest, you like him and hope its works out for you. there should be no shame in it, after all its yr life and you have every damn right to select whoever you want.
