For option #2..what you saying is..i should still think about her..when i am married to someone else..how fair is that..to this new girl in life jersey girl?. And thanks for welcoming to the club.
Face the truth buddy ! Can you EVER get her out of your thoughts? Ever? For as long as you live?
I don't think so.
That's why it's called first love.
... and about being fair to the next person - well as long as you don't bring your past in talks, comparison, and don't let that interfere with your new life - then SURE you can still think about her - given that you don't have any contact with her.
Ask ALL the pros on this board who have fallen in love - were they EVER able to forget their first love?
I don't think so.