Re: Very much upset !
This is really astonishing.
I also remember D.A complaining about her hubby a year back.
D.A, like the recalling posters have said, and with all respect, it was so anticipated your husband would be like this.
However you said he is also very loving at times- well atleast somthing is sometimes is good.
I think he is over stressed by life, could have a mental issue, or could be influcend by others (his mom) to keep his 'wife' 'under control' hence the aggresive and dominating behaviours.
But And all this while your pregnant?
This is way out of line...
I cannot belive this dude. If not for the wife atleast for his future kid he should be nice and more tolerant.
But being a guy- I tell you some actions to take:
1) If you know he loves you- assertivly confront him for a chat about this.
Be respectful at the same time explain to him how you feel he is mistreating you and its emotional effects on you plus the effects possible on the baby.
It could be he has a different perception of things and does not recognize how bad his behaviour actually is.
After you have ensured he understands your view; pose to him the question does he love you-if he does he will certainly amend his attitude towards you. If he doesnt or he has some overwhelming stress or issue on his head then the treatment would continue.
2) It is adviced by the Prophet (pbuh) to do the things that please your spouse and dont do the things that displease them.
I am not accusing you, however for objectivity sake, and seeing your husband is somewhat sensitive, recall if theres anything you are or may be doing that could displease him. Respectfully ask him if you cannot figure and think he may feel something.
On evaluation, If there is nothing especially (which i think is the case) that you are doing that upset or undermines him, then atleast your side is clear which you both will know, and the issue would become clearer who has a problem. From then on you could work at what HIS problem is.
-on the other hand if on investigation, there is some part of your personality/actions that is displeasing him then you have to be humble and if it is logical you should aim to stop that or discuss with him why you cannot or for a possible way around it.
Finally- and you are the only one D.A who truly knows if his behaviour is truly that bad and over limits that you can live with, and if after making the above efforts bearing no fruits, give him a clear and consice ultimatum that you are not going to tolerate this disrespect, if he loves you he should respect you the same way you do, or you will be going back home....
I totally agree with the other posters views on this guy, and only to save repetition of comments I am suggesting additional things.
I think other posters may disagree with my views on trying saving the marriage, but I and Islam always advices to try to save a relationship initially, instead of immidietly separating or divorcing.
And I give this advice also because thess two have been togther for long, it seems like he does love her somewhere, and because of the unfair way pakistani society is, it could may well be harder for the girl to separate/divorce and find a better partner.
It is clear D.A, that your husband is sensitive and volatile at the moment, so throughout the whole course in confronting your husband on this issue although being serious and clear you will have do it respectfully.
I also think if you have an older brother or sister, or even any mutual relative that the husbands respects to have a chat with him.
If this happned to my sister, i would speak to him. This kind of intervention shows the indicates the seriouness to the oppresant- and if the oppresant wants to keep what he has he'll think over his actions.
Also do consider and try to find out if there is anything stressing him so much in life leading to his ill behaviour or if he has some mental issue that could be helped with some treatment.
You are his wife, you must know him inside out.
Hope my post is of some use. Goodluck
