Re: Very complicated & weird proposal experience..need girls advice
I did tell my parents from the beginning. My parents knew about her. My mom talked to her over the phone as well. My mom even talked to her mother. I even talked to her mother and older sister. All nice, decent interactions. Obviously, I didn’t tell my parents or her family members about the red flags, I didn’t want to give her a bad name or reputation among my family nor did I want her to get in trouble with her family, although she clearly made me into a bad guy in her family’s eyes. But I’m not the type of guy to take revenge even if I felt wronged in the end. I was really respectful of her.
And I didn’t consider her a wife yet, yes I considered her to be in a committed relationship with me and was viewing her as a future wife based on us being committed to each other and based on the things she did. Obviously this was all conditional to us meeting in person and interacting in person.
The major blunder I did was that I loved her and got too serious with her when maybe she wasn’t as into me despite the sexual things she was doing. Yes I made mistakes too, I should have picked my battles more wisely and let some stuff go and stop the cycle of arguments that became unending near the end of our relationship but they were so minor and felt like they were so typical of men, its weird that she would end a relationship so easily after doing all that with me. She ended it because the discussions and arguments became too emotionally draining for her.
Sometimes I think she liked me because initially I was really entertaining for her, brought new excitement into her life and when it became too serious that’s when she eventually backed off–after involving her own parents (her dad was a bit against it but her mom was initially for it). She seriously reminded me of people who believe in the philosophical theory of Hedonism–“the theory that happiness should be pursued (that pleasure should be pursued and pain should be avoided)”, a “school of thought that argues that pleasure is the primary or most important intrinsic good. In very simple terms, a hedonist strives to maximize net pleasure (pleasure minus pain).” She based everything she did in life (whether right or wrong) based on “fun”–even when I asked her what her goals in life are, she told me very seriously that her goals in life are to have fun and enjoy life. While these are idealistic goals, all mature people know that life is not always fun, and fun should not be your 1st priority in life, one needs to keep it balanced and there will be some major ups and downs in life.