As far as the examples you posted - why would you imply that they or those posts are representative of the female posters on GS? The same way Candy’s post about Punjabi-Pakistani men was a gross generalization - you’ve gone down the same path.
My point consistently has been about the fallibility of people and the possible reasons for that fallibility and why empathy is necessary. What’s unfortunate is the expectation of perfection in thought, deed and word of another. We want others to think our way and react the way we do and that’s not possible. We live in a world with shades of grey and unless you walk in another’s shoes you will never know what they go through and what has shaped their perceptions and feelings. Rightly or wrongly - they think the way they do and react the way they do and that’s where the empathy is necessary.
I’ll use your example - the classic MIL/DIL example. Your scenario has the wife whine and complain to her husband about how horrid the MIL is and you make it seem like the wife’s sole aim is to take her husband and child away from her MIL and to cut ties with the MIL - she’s a typical bad wife, who’s made a perfect mother, father, son equation miserable. In your scenario it seems like the MIL is an angel and the wife is the devil - but isn’t it possible that in some cases, the MIL has made her DIL’s life unpleasant and uncomfortable and that the DIL is unhappy because of her treatment at the hands of the MIL or other in-laws.
What should the wife do in this case? Shut up and not “whine” or complain or explain her unhappiness to her husband because he’s come home from a long tiring day at work and because he will never acknowledge that his family could ever have wronged his wife? What is the wife’s recourse in this type of scenario?
^ Point being - most people’s reality is somewhere in between the extremes you and I have described.
Something I learned in a management course which I thought was quite enlightening vis-a-vis relationship theory was that intention does not equal perception. And therein lies the source of most conflict. I mean one thing and you understand me to mean something else. How do you solve for the intention versus perception gap? I’ve no idea, other than open and honest and clear communication. But that assumes that everyone is comfortable with that level of open communication.
I don’t expect to “convince” you to see things my way - but I hope if nothing else, it at least will give you pause and maybe consider another perspective. That’s one thing that I have taken from this board - the multiplicity of perspectives and that just because I see things one way doesn’t mean others see the world through the same lens.