Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Its a common practice in desi/pakistani culture that women vent (a lot of time dissing too) their spouse and his family (the MIL, SIL, FIL, il etc etc) and they usually (not always) don’t mind others joining in.

Like i have observed it in real life, and also here on Life1 forum.

We all know paksitani men are the worst when it comes to treating their women, but i am talking about how they handle this PR side in front of others.

Have you people ever observed the men dissing their wives in front of others? Online/offline?

What are your observations/experience?

Also what would explain this.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

No, disrespecting your wife or in laws means disrespecting yourself, so men don't do that.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Women vent. PERIOD! Got nothing to do with them being Pakistani!

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

This.

Men and women just react differently. Women need to vent and men, well I don't know what they do, go eat something? Kick someone? I don't know, they usually don't need another perspective to their case.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Unless its a serious issue, I think men/women should not talk/discuss negative stuff about their spouse.
Vent seems to be another word for backbiting .

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

^ And in case of serious matter advice should be sought from a wise sayana person, and not from any random bobo.

A wise person will stay neutral and try to help you.

A random bobo will add fuel to the fire, start dissing your spouse and make it his own personal battle.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

^ rightly said.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

for both men and women. as the famous desi saying(?) goes. if u will lift your kamiz it will bare your own belly. Show respect for each other for your own sanity's sake.
And venting is mostly backbiting specifically when it becomes a habit. Seeking advice is great but asking for it on a public domain is quite unwise.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Lol. Both genders have their tendencies. Men, in general, may not be in the habit of venting to their friends and family about their domestic troubles. But some men, I've seen and heard, are in the habit of giving gaaliyan to their wives' family or even to mothers and sisters of other men.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Really?

"We" who?

You, shawn, candy, deeba, and ... etc.?

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Good point we shouldn't talk behind anyone's back.

But women have a tendency to seek advice and compare experiences and notes with other women to problem solve in their lives.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

This was just so that the feminazis don't derail the thread, since thats what their ultimate desireable outcome is, i mentioned it in the first post. :)

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

I was wondering that, but I read that post few times and failed to see a sarcasm button pushed by you. Which usually you do. :D

Hence, I did not push the sarcasm button on too. Do you wonder why I added one particular member in the list? ;)

If you do not really mean to say any similar derogatory statement as a 'fact', then be more clear.

Anyways, please do carry on.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

there are two main categories

one who are in the habit of doing such things (men or women)

no. two those who have suffered so much that they have nothing else to do except to vent.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Its not venting it *****ing.

Men don't do it because we understand if we insult your mother or father we are doing it to you as well. Guppans on the other hand have a double standard in this regard.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Its hard to say it is backbiting...if someone asks the advice from other of his/her personal problem.

Yes, the ideal way is to talk to the person or people involved, but some people are so frustrated that they resort to whatever the source they could find to obtain a view or position on it.

Confidentiality is a must prerequisite.

Generalization has to be avoided.

Hateful comments towards in-laws or spouse should not be made.

And yes, there is no guarantee if online advise or from a friend... will work for the person and these so called advise can even further pollute the mind of the person or harm his/her relations.


As to why women do it more often, then maybe it is because most men have control over on the situation at home, or they have this mindset that they will be regarded as sissy boys if ask solution of domestic issues from someone else.

Common scenario is: Women talk to their friends more about their household problems than men to their buddies.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

Yeah, it can be backbiting, and there is definitely a fine line. And yes, women backbite more than men, so by default they would 'vent' more than men too.

I agree with PCG - we do it to compare notes and problem solve. I find it really helpful. But I don't want to cross the line into backbiting :(

Women giving advice to women about men, whom have barely interacted with men. If the advice is of the same caliber as you guys give each other on life1, I weep for your households.

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

I would say mostly more women r complaining bcuz mostly women has more issues, they r living with in-laws so they r bearing them, no men tried living with in-laws family specially in form of day to night! under the eyes of others!

another point is that mostly men have more power so they do directly but women r seeking ways to do indirectly!

and last point if someone has a bad wife he is starting complaining also!!! I saw it as well

Re: Venting/Dissing of spouse and inlaws

make husbands live with their wife's families in joint family system. make husbands cook, clean, take care of their MIL, FIL. let their FIL,MIl talk down to them, tell them what to wear, what to cook, what to eat, how to live their lives, and constantly tell them how unfit they are for their daughter and how their daughter could have gotten a way better husband. and also, limit how often the son in law can go visit their parents because visiting too often means neglecting their actual responsibility which is their susral/ wife's parents home .
then lets see who vents and complains.