Re: Valima Jewelry issue
^ oh I missed the fact that she is married for 2 years now.
ok so here is the issue. I got a kara and bangle set plus a valima necklace from my in laws on valima. The issue is that all of the jewelery is old fashioned looking and very plain. I am a bit upset because I feel that they didn't care much and just didn't want to spend to much money on the jewelery so my sister in law picked these. What i am interested in now is taking it to the jeweler and getting something else made with those? i have discussed with my husband and he is okay with it however will this become a big issue in my in laws family if I chose to do this?
If you can afford to buy new jewellery, I would personally advise you against exchanging those pieces of jewellery. They were a gift from your in laws, and they may feel hurt because of this. Although, technically speaking the jewellery belongs to you now and you have every right to do what you want with it, but sometimes it's better not to excercise certain rights. Especially, if in the process you may end up hurting someone else's feelings. Or even causing bad blood when one can avoid it.
Would you have considered exchanging something that your husband gave to you as runumai? Perhaps not..because you may not want to hurt his feelings.
You *feel *that they didn't want to spend too much money, but you don't really have a proof do you? Your sister in law may have chosen what she liked, and just because it happens to be very different from what you would choose that doesn't necessarily mean that they didn't care much. Don't assume bad things about others, makes life easier:)
I come from a pretty liberal family and have been through this situation with my SIL. Her valima jewellery was ugly.....and I mean really ugly!!! We had no choice in the matter.....we had to pick from what was available in the city at the time. Circumstances ruled our decisions and we got what we could.
Later on she decided that she was going to get that set melted down and something else made from it. She asked permission and brother said do what you want, it's yours'. She asked Ammi and reluctantly she agreed too. But I say reluctantly because ammi's position was that once something is made you don't melt it down. You leave it. Especially if you are in a position to afford other items....which we were and had done.
Long story short......new set was made, worn once and then stolen during a robbery.......gone forever!
SIL received insurance money with which she replaced the one she had made. Several years later her house was robbed.....again and the jewellery taken.
To this day she has not been able to accumulate anything in terms of jewellery. Sad......and probably just a coincidence........but I bet ammi has rolled over a few times in her grave.....
I think a gift is a gift, I would never change/exchange or give away something because I didn't like it.. and like Muz said, hurting someones feelings usually comes to bite you in the bum..
Be appreciative that your MIL gave you something
Thanks everyone for your opinions! My plan before was to just go ahead and get it without telling her but now I have changed my mind. She is coming to my daughter's birthday party so I will nicely sit her down for tea or something and tell her that I am considering doing this..so that she is aware of it. I am sure she won't ask many questions because she usually keeps it to herself but when i get the new jewelery I will just tell everyone that it came from my husband's family which i think will make him and my MIL feel better about it.