I’m all for hubby going for a weekend out with buddies and having a blast, and although I have never spent a weekend with my friends I think I wouldn’t mind doing that once in a while.
However, I am seeing that a lot of separate vacations, alone, just because they need time away from their families, to relieve work stress, etc. Just alone. Maybe I cannot understand the benefits of that but somehow I cannot seem to enjoy myself if I’m not with my family.
What are your thoughts and experiences?
Re: Vactioning separately…when you are married
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I would feel very guilty if I go for a vacation without my family. Many a times even if I travel for work I take my family with me.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
Wife goes to Pakistan many times with me unable to take vacations, does that count?
Re: Vactioning separately…when you are married
I have heard close friend complaining about wife imposing too much on vocation, and the want to go where ever he wants. stuff like that.
U know married ppl stuff, complaining and still sticking together :no:
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
Wife goes to Pakistan many times with me unable to take vacations, does that count?
I have done that many a times she goes for vacation with kids and I stay back to guard the fort or make many to foot the bill. But I having vacation alone never happened.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
if someone can enjoy alone i see no harm. i would love to do it if i can. everybody needs some personal space n ways to relax.
Re: Vactioning separately…when you are married
we are in same boat brother. This time around, I m pressing hard to visit Pakistan alone 
but then she is like "keyun? main keyun nahi jaoo? aisa KAUUUN hai wahaan jis sai milna hai aap ko akeley 
"
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I have seen it many times, women going to Pakistan with their kids for months at a time, while husband stays home...esp if he works full time, its not practical to go together just for 2 weeks.
But if you're talking about going on weekend vacations with girl friends or alone....I don't think I could do that.... my husband gives me plenty of space to hang out with friends so I dont' feel a need to spend nights away as well... I don't think its bad if others do it though.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I'm all for hubby going for a weekend out with buddies and having a blast, and although I have never spent a weekend with my friends I think I wouldn't mind doing that once in a while.
However, I am seeing that a lot of separate vacations, alone, just because they need time away from their families, to relieve work stress, etc. Just alone. Maybe I cannot understand the benefits of that but somehow I cannot seem to enjoy myself if I'm not with my family.
What are your thoughts and experiences?
IMO nothing wrong with it as long as the couple is also taking vacations together.
Earlier this year my SO and I went on vacation for 1 week. About a month after we got back, SO went to Peru for 1 week with 4 of his guy friends.....it was a "boys trip" and they had a blast (2 of the guys that went with him are married and their wives were ok with it). In January I'm going "back home" to visit extended family....While I'm gone overseas for 10 days, I have encouraged SO to plan a "boys ski trip" for him and his closest guy friends. Meanwhile we're talking about planning a vacation for "us" for next summer. In between all this....we routinely go away for "weekend trips".
I prefer vacations that're relaxing and full of "luxury". While SO enjoys those too....SO also wants "adventure". So this is a way for us to compromise. I knew SO wanted to go to Peru for a long time but I have no interest in going there. SO loves to ski but that's not "my thing"...last time I went with him, I spent the day at the spa while he was skiing! This way....SO and I enjoy vacations together....but for his "adventure" vacations....he can take his "boys" with him and they can have a blast without him having to "babysit" me.
I think it's great to have separate vacations with friends as long as both people are ok with it and both take vacations together. But I also understand that this is not for everyone.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
makes 100% sense to me. Travel is expensive, you may not share each others interests enough that it is worth it to spend the money, plus aside from the couple its also kids. It is simply not worth it to drag kids along until they are older as far as their own experience. depending on nature of vacation you may not be able to fully enjoy with kids anyways.
The question is, what is the vacation? how long, does a long weekend away count, or is there a minimum time.
Depends on type of vacation too, going to cancun and chilling in some resort is one thing, trekking across the Andes is another or even backpacking across Europe.
the question is, does the rest of the family have in interest in something you want to do? is it strong enough of an interest that it is worth spending the money? would the family being with you keep you from having fun or doing what you were looking to do, or not let you fully enjoy the time and the purpose of the trip.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I'm all for hubby going for a weekend out with buddies and having a blast, and although I have never spent a weekend with my friends I think I wouldn't mind doing that once in a while.
However, I am seeing that a lot of separate vacations, alone, just because they need time away from their families, to relieve work stress, etc. Just alone. Maybe I cannot understand the benefits of that but somehow I cannot seem to enjoy myself if I'm not with my family.
What are your thoughts and experiences?
I am not married or have kids.
But I can see the value in taking some time to myself and go do something fun. It doesn't have to be often, but it makes life more interesting. It can give you a fresh outlook on life, motivation towards whatever is important in your life. It has the potential to renew anything that is important to you and infuse you with a new kind of enthusiasm. You will obviously miss your family because those are the people you are with 24/7 and are so very used to them. But soon enough, you will also enjoy not having those responsibilities (all moms like breaks, dont they?). You will really enjoy yourself and when you come back, you'd be happy to be back.
Re: Vactioning separately…when you are married
I feel for you brother. LOL
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
Ive never heard of my friends taking a personal vacation alone with no hubby or kids.
I would do it but Im not there yet. No hubby or kids so cant say for sure. Maybe it would be different when Im married.
On the other hand, I am not one of those people who is uncomfortable with solitude or being away from people. I can swing either way.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I don't see anything wrong with it. Not full fledged vacations but short trips. My wife goes on little trips with her friends that I'm glad I don't have to go because they're gonna go shop and drink tea. I go on camping trips with my friends that my wife is glad that she doesn't have to go to because we burp and fart and do stupid juvenile things.
Nothing wrong with that. Of course, we both get a LOT of vacation time so we have time to spare to go on separate trips like that, if we only had limited vacation we'd only spend it with each other.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
There is no harm in it as long as you also vacation together as a family. I don't believe in dragging kids to places that they have no interest in.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I think Niksik is not referring to family trips or friends get together. She is talking about vacation as in real vacation - staying in hotels, sight seeing and all that - and not for a day or 2 - but a 2 weeks vacation to Europe lets say.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I think Niksik is not referring to family trips or friends get together. She is talking about vacation as in real vacation - staying in hotels, sight seeing and all that.
Yeah. These shopping and weekend trips should not be counted as "vacations" but a full flash week long trip, staying in motel having fun!!!!!!
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
A short vacation is okay. My husband doesn't want to participate into our girlie spa weekends. He rather spend the time with the kids.
I do however feel bad when I eat something without him that I know my husband would have loved.
Re: Vactioning separately...when you are married
I don't think it is a bad idea. My cousin as well as many of his friends do that. The guys go away hiking for the weekend, or some kayaking/white water rafting type thing. Usually their wives are ok but they do get annoyed that how come the guys get to go out so much and they are at home with the kids. The ones without kids usually spend the weekend with their family so it's all good. Depends on the couple. I would LOVE to do a weekend away with girlfriends, but I don't have many girlfriends who'd be willing to go away for the weekend :(