Using your parent's credit card w/out permission?

[redvelvet]

Re: Using your parent's credit card w/out permission?

In general we're brought up to believe it's wrong to take things without permission....and I do believe that courtesy helps foster trust even in close relationships. BUT...as I've said before...there tends to be greater flexibility in one's relationshp with their parents where things may not be seen as "disrespectful" because there's a greater amount of understanding/trust/and more importantly tolerance.

OP, if you and your parents understand each other (the dynamics of every family is different) that's what matters most. People in general have an idea about what behaviors will be tolerated depending on the relatioinship. You're obviously not going to be that "lax" with let's say...your extended relatives, friends, or in-laws. If you feel uncomfortable about not having asked for permission in the past...then that discomfort is a good thing....it shows that you care and not everybody is bothered about how their conscience feels. So to appease that guilty feeling (if it's there)...just be more careful about it next time. It need not be made into a big issue....it's quite solvable.

[ZareenKhan]

Re: Using your parent’s credit card w/out permission?

My parents got me a credit card so that i can buy whatever i want without asking them for cash everytime! It’s just easier and safer! Ofcourse they still pay for it. And yah they have always trusted me with their money i guess all parents do. But i still remember when my dad got my 1st credit card i had just turned 18 n everyone advised him nt to give me unlimited access cuz i was 2 young n mite overspend n all but he always knew he has done a good job on us and didnt need to worry about all this :k:.

[M_was_here]

Re: Using your parent’s credit card w/out permission?

@redvelvet

What I meant was that you didn’t mention “age” (in general) in connection to the question. Does being of a certain gender guarantee responsibility with money? There will be exceptions. It depends upon the relationship you have with your parents and their observations/experiences in regards to your responsibility. And I’m speaking generally here..not specifically about you. I think that with family…especially with parents…the relationship is such that there’s greater room for flexibility with money and many other things. You asked in your original post…how our parents would react…so you’re going to get varied responses/perspectives. I simply answered your question/discussed my individual experience. It wasn’t an attack on you.

Oh, I know you weren’t attacking me, RV! I was just clarifying for those people that were considering it theft and elaborating on what you said about your parents trusting you!

@goddamniamsoawesome

Really now? Is it natural to not trust your sons as much as your only daughter?
I don’t quite think that’s the usual case neither do I understand how you reached that conclusion.

I meant that as the oldest child, the only-girl thing was just a random bit of info since being the only girl amongst three boys PLUS being the oldest comes into play, if that makes sense.

@CM , please stop trying to be so self-righteous all the damn time. Thanks.

@Mirch

If your name is on the account then why do you need to ask ?

lol, my name isn’t on the account. I have only used it for online shopping and I have his card number saved.

@stoppit

Sounds very immature. What’s wrong with asking them first? If they say no, there must be good reason for it.

There isn’t anything immature about it. They dont object to it, of course I wouldn’t if they had a serious problem with it. And like @Sara516 said, I pay back (not out of obligation but just 'cause)

@nadeemnirvana

How do you take someones credit card without them knowing? obviously there is some deception involved. Then you secretly place the card back?

Saying you will pay it back is no excuse. the whole point of a credit card is you pay it back later.

Like I said before, it’s a debit card. And I only use it for online shopping so I have their card # saved. They know I have it saved and there is NO deception involved. Plus, I have my own debit card as well. Haye allah.

@Paheli00

Situation 2: Parents added their child’s name on their account and GAVE them a credit or debit card to use. Or the parents just gave their card to their child and are AWARE of the fact that the child is in posssession of the card. In this situation, there is no reason to ask “permission” b/c by giving the card to the child…the parents are giving permission for use of the card. Now some parents give the card with conditions attached (such as the card should be used in emergencies only, there’s $$ limit etc).

So which situation is yours?

Besides, if a person pays their parents “back” the money they charge on the card…or if a person has the money to begin with…then WHY would they use the parents’s card to begin with? Is there a reason for you not having your own debit and/or credit card?

I totally agree about your stance on it, it isn’t okay to use something that your parents would NOT be okay with, even if they are your parents but I have my own debit card but sometimes I’m low on funds or dont have the money in my account but have only cash etc. They are aware I have their card number saved and know I wouldn’t use it unless I didn’t have the money in my own card. Plus, it’s always online shopping anyway.

@Sara516

^ Sometimes you just might not have the cash on hand, or don’t have the card but you have the funds…just not on hand at the moment…I know a few times I didnt’ want to carry my wallet so I took a few cards from there and then later when i changed bags, I forgot the card was in there…so yeah, it can happen

I love you, Sara. You get where I’m coming from. This happens all the time too where I have the cash in my wallet but don’t have it in my debit card so I would just use their card and hand the cash over. Same thing.

@stoppit

By the age of 20, if you’re parents are well off, you’ll probably have a sufficient allowance for your needs or they will easily give you money/the credit card if you ask for it. If you’re parents are not that well off, then quite frankly, I’d feel embarrassed asking them for money when I’m old enough to earn my own.

See, thats another thing. We are well off and getting money isn’t a big deal in our house, but again everyone has a different family dynamic and some parents dont care if their child is spending their money. My parents dont give a regular allowance because we just ask when we need the money. In my case, if I want to order something online I dont want to have to call my dad (works in another city, isn’t home until the weekends) and get his permission, esp. knowing he wont care. People need to realize every one has their own family dynamic, mine just happens to be very chill about such things. I guess I should have articulated myself correctly in the first post. Also, because of the location we live in (tiny town, in the middle of no where, it is impossible to work. Had we been living in a metropolitan city, I would have easily worked and earned my own). Way too many assumptions.

And Zareen, I like your dad’s way of parenting. It kinda’ builds confidence in a kid when they know they are being trusted w/ something most people wouldn’t trust their kids with or advise against. :k:

[CEO1]

Re: Using your parent's credit card w/out permission?

I think I was 16 the last time I asked for any money from my parents. Since then I have been working myself so never really needed too. Also I've never had or have asked for my parents debit cards. :-\

[kurripunjaban]

Re: Using your parent's credit card w/out permission?

At one point or another I've used my parents/siblings/SILs debit/credit cards to make purchases that they were aware of, so I know their pin numbers/security codes etc, but I would never use their cards without their permission. Simply because I wouldn't like it if someone used my card without me knowing, regardless of whether or not they planned to pay me back. Plus it can trigger serious problems if the person in question can't account for all the items on their bank statement.

Plus in our house we have a very strict 'if you can't afford it - you don't need it' policy. Borrowing money is only acceptable if it's for an emergency, luxuries don't count.