Mabrook...you are right to point out how leaving all the issues on hand might actually lead to an improved relationship between the husband and wife. the thing is there are days when she intentionally avoids bringing them up but it doesnt stay that way for long...
On the contrary, her husband maybe out of embarassment or pride doesn't prefer an open discussion when it comes to deciding on future goals. he understands his weakness and claims to be looking around for better options, but then that's that! in fact not talking about the issues not only frustrates her but makes her stronlgy feel about his difference.
i can't agree with you more on the "jee jee" bit. to my friend, she feels to have compromised ever since their engagement. her husband didnt like her work and complained of his being home before her. her office agreed accomodating to this by letting her work a straight shift without lunch break. perhaps the biggest compromise was sticking to him when it all got bad and would have been a difficult pick for anyone in her situation. the decision was made and she takes complete accountability for it....the test in which she is put after marriage for which she was unware hurts her.
as for insisting on household work, i would appreciate if you throw more light on this. in what ways do u think she could contribute to the household chores other than cleaning or cooking, as mil insists she cooks and the maid does the cleaning....? it would be helpful to get some ideas on this
thanks for considering my advice.by jee jee i don't mean giv up job n everything just handle things tactfully.sometimes u say jee acha jaisa aap kehain just to calm other person down temporarily.i'll tell u one thing the more ur friend will fight for the situation the more resistance will come from her husband.the more she let go things will get easier.husband will b a fan n appreciate her advice better.instead of thinking n talking abt her n hubbys future talk abt whole family colectively n think abt everyone..
rest sub Allah pe chore day.Sils r already married.MIL n FIL r not gonna live for ever so stay calm n be patient. wat the poet said"paiwasta reh shajer se umeed-e-bahar rekh"time doesn't stay same for ever.wait for the good times.
as for housework tu meri jaan the possibilities r endless leave cooking n cleaning how abt laundary or ironing or grocerry shopping.she can stick with the saas while prep for dinner. she can get them ocassional bedtea.she can offer head massage etc.just think of ways to get connected.working around the house isn't the issue here they want ur friend to mix n mingle n be the traditional achi bahu so play the part..."the worlds a stage n we all r actors" know wat i mean:)