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plus put yourself in her place... how would you and your family feel if she asks you to convert...
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As for going to the mosque to convert, um just factual information, you can convert at home but i'm sure all you guys know that. I just say that because she may be a bit intimidated having to answer questions about a religion she has just began learning about. Unless, they're just asking her if she believes in Allah(swt) and the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) and all the other prophets.
The primary purpose of asking questions is to know his/her intensions rather than his/her knowledge of Islam..
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i would have married her with my parents permission.
getting permission from them is ure prob not hers.
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I would say that you should go ahead with it, however try your best to be kind to both families. She will be extremely insecure if she agrees to go forward, and it will be your responsiblity to aid her.
The more time you waste the more insecure she is likely to get. So choose your time wisely, and start with the list of steps indicated in my previous post #34.
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i m not against love marriages....but u must about the consequences of this sort of marriage. I know a couple of people personally that married someone from a different country and religion and guess what!!! they had many fights, arguments over little things that created a lot of tension at their house. I m not saying all marriages of this kind fail, but alot of them do fail and its not practical to decide to marry someone just because ur heart says so....try to picture life ahead and if u feel comfortable, marry her. Issues like *serving/not letting serve wine or other alcoholic drinks *can create a big mess between the two parties (that is if u really care about carrying those values that support our religion). Think about your children, what religion will they be follwowing, what names will be given to them....these issues seem little and less important but they become pretty big in a real situation later. Trust me. And again, i am not discouraging you but rather pointing out things that may seem very little but hold a lot of power to change everything around (have seen it happen).
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- i personally know someone who changed her religion for marriage and later in her husband's absence, she used to wear shorts/bikini's and other things that her husband wont allow...he was broad minded and allowed her to dress the way she wanted to....just that he didnt like too much skin showing and their marriage ended very soon and they were madly and badly in love.
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Well her being Christian but Indian shouldnt make a huge cultural difference. Even religion though, I mean technically, Christians are not supposed to eat pork or drink alcohol either.
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but they still drink and its not known as a bad thing and is accepted in their culture n its looked down upon in our culture...culture is a big issue rather than religion in a marriage...otherwise, religion doesnt stop a guy from marrying a christian or jew gurl.
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Ummm..Id have to disagree with you on that. I think religion is more important then culture. If that were the case then it would be ok to marry a hindu and it would be alright.
You are right about the fact that yes drinking is accepted in there culture and it isnt really looked down upon in our culture, but im saying that technically they are not supposed to or eat pork or carry on the way they do these days. Drinking may not be looked down upon in our culture but its not as open you know?
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You are right about the fact that yes drinking is accepted in there culture and it isnt really looked down upon in our culture, but im saying that technically they are not supposed to or eat pork or carry on the way they do these days. Drinking may not be looked down upon in our culture but its not as open you know?
it sure is....i never said it wasnt dear....but it is sad that we (desis) are tooo much after our culture than religion. For instance, we are ok if a gal is forced into a marriage but we r not ok when she chooses a guy for herself....mein tu khud aik victim hoon:( .
And i wasnt giving my opinion based on religion...i was talking about our cultural things because of which our bazurgawaar dont allow serving alcoholic baverages or things like this cuz religion prohibits 'em(and they r right). I meant what if the gurl's family and friends would like to have drinks but cuz of the guy's family, it wont be allowed to serve? its a little thing if u really look at it but it created a big issue between the two families that were involved in this kind of marriage (remember i was saying, it has happened) and so i was just pointing it out to him just to give him an idea of the lines he must be thinking along:)
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don't even think of marrying her its a trap
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^^ All women are a trap
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ahhh yes thats true. A lady at work her cousin is hindu but she got married to an Italian and they already had tension between the two families just over wedding plans and how to have the wedding, since they didnt want it to be to desi but the girls family still wanted to have all there customs n so on...
So yeah I understand what you are saying. Then again once she is married I think her family should respect certain issues, i.e. drinking alcohol.
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End the fiasco before you, her or anyone else gets hurt.
Marriages like the one you would have to pull require an
exceptionally extra-ordinary understanding and love
between the couple. I'm talking about literally
what is considered 'from outta this world,' (like no other).
And there are a very very few people in the world
with that kind of a relationship. Walk away from
it before the relationship walks away from the two
of you.
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hmmm.dear i have not read everything other people wrote.but let me tell u about the situation i am going through.i am in ove with a christian guy who is my class fellow.he is a very strictly religious person and i am also a very religious person.i was and still i am confused that wat shud i do.because i know its wrong. i told him about it.he likes me too.but i know he does not love me.i started praying and still i am before this situtaion i was not the person who pray five times a day.but now MASHA ALLAH i pray 5 times a day.and ask ALLAH to show me the way.and ask for ALLAH's wil.i am confused,sometimes depress, sometimes sad but after started praying i fell relax also.that watever is going to happen is going to be the best for me.because i have asked for ALLAH's will.and its a Hadith that EK TERI CHAHAT HAI EK MERI CHAHAT HAI HOGA TO WOHI JO MERI CHAHAT HAI PAS AGAR TUNE SAPURD KARDIA KHUDKO USKAY JO MERI CHAHAT HAI TO MEIN TUJHKO WO BHI DEDUNGA JO TERI CHAHAT HAI AUR AGAR TUNE KHILAFWARZI KI USKI JO MERI CHAHAT HAI TO MEIN THAKA DUNGA TUJHKO USKAY PEECHHAY JO TERI CHAHAT HAI PHIR HOGA WOHI JO MERI CHAHAT HAI.
to my dear brother just pray for ur self.and when u dont understand wat to do.just leave everything on ALLAH.thats wat i did.i know it is an exam for me and also for u.and INSHA ALLAH if we will clear and passed the exam we r going to get good results.so just pray and pray.and have faith on ALLAH.i dont know that the guy i am in love with is going to change his religion or not. he is goignt o have the same feelings for me or not?or we r going to get married or not?the main and important thing is that i love him.whether he loves me or not i love him.but i love my parents.and ALLAH also.i cant go against the rules and my religion.so i have to go through this exam.and this is my faith that INSHA ALLAH i am going to clear my exam.ALLAH has chosen me for this exam and ALLAH is going to help me and give me strength.so bhai sahab u do the same thing just calm down and have faith on ALLAH.and everything will be fine.and watever will happen will be for ur own good.