urgent help needed

these things seem really big now..but after ull think y did i need to make sucha big deal?..y did i listen to my family?..they r just crying wolf now so u get angry n break the ristha off urself..its a trick..my brother n mom did the same with me..they got me worked up over stupid things n then i started off and after i was the one was crying n absolutel devastated n hurting not them..att hat time they acted like they really cared about me n my future n really loved me but after they dont give a damn..

so moral of the story is dont go warring for ur family after other people..aisa na ho ke bad me tum pashtao..

abhi to they r with u but when ur alone feeling like crap cryin ur gonna b crying alone..trust me..they r gonna say to u 'we dont wan to hear u crying shut up n get over it'..n will feel absolutely no remorse of leading u astray

theyr not happy for u anywayz so theyr just gonna make a mountain out of a molehill now to get u angry bcs otherwise they know theyre will be no other way that u will break it off

what do you mean by pinch of salt?? i didnt get what you mean by this/

A pinch/chutki of salt...is a small thing. What she means is to treat the comment made by your FIL as small thing or non-issue.

wel my engagement isnt officially broken im praying it doesnt break.. my fiance got too angry and told me that i have issues with everything so its over.. we have hardly talked ever since, he told me he needs some time apart from me. i tihnk his ego is too big he needs to realise that sometimes his parents make mistakes too. well my lil sister is engaged and rishtas usually always come for her. i dont want to be the old unmarrried sister. this would just kill me.
how do i be happy? ever since this has happened i have not gotten outta bed. just took sleeping pils and slept now i cant sleep anymore but my head hurts.

i dont knoww what to talk about with my parents, my mom told me that she never wanted to tell me this. my dad strictly told her never to tell me.. im too emotional to talk to my parents its their disrespect at my expense. wht do i talk about ? that u r over reacting? i think my fil shud be careful. he has a daughter too time will show.

Well i dont know why everything keeps going wrong in my relationship aagain and again.. i want this relationship to work , bcz regardless of our parents we love each other and he is a amazing person. right now hes too angry to realise bcz i know its hard to hear something about your family. i might be the same way if i was him.. but we make things work. in our own personal relationship we have no fights.. just things bought by others.

Re: urgent help needed

no..what she mean s by take it with a pinch of salt ..is that u should not readily beleive what your mom says unassumingly and innocently..

i dont know exactly what they asked. but it was just asking repeatedly or something ( i was not there so i dont know) that aapne aapni shop mein computerised system kyun nahi rakha? kya waja hai? and i think he might be asking too many questions as to why. which made abu feel uncomfortable

i really dnt know, my mom told me not to tell him. just to let go. but how could i? from everyones reply it seems like its not too big a deal and my dad is sensitive about the isue as he was once on peak and now on bottom.

i thikn they shud be more polite to my parents and not talk abt something in a questioning way. well right now i jsut hate my fil but i cant break my engagement bcz if i do i may never find a guy.. and i may never have the courage to make it out of this rooom,. i know ill kill myself ..
i cant take more pills bcz they r ruining me im losing my memory.

pleaase pray for me. my fiance told me that he needs some time apart from me. so i wont msg or call.. i need him to realise that my family has some importance too and they also need to meet my family and behave.. :s

For God sake.... grow up!! You seem like a real drama queen. and its not your fiance's ego thats huge, its YOURS!!! He is right, you make an issue out of everything, hence why he needs a breather. Your mum messes with your mind, and you mess with his.

1) you dont know exactly what his dad said to yours and you still throw a hissy fit. Your mum told you this, and even though you know your mum has it in for your inlaws, you never thought to confirm what actually happened between the dads. How daft is that? Speak to your dad about it, he will most likely give you the real picture, not the drama your mum presents.

2) If his FIL really thought you were beaneath them, they woud be against your proposal for thier son...and you would def. know about it first hand!!! So stop finding excuses to berate them at each point.

3) You say he has an ego problem, yet you want his parents to change according to your mothers desire, so you have the ego problem here...you cant change people according to your specifications...and if you try, it will blow up in your face. You really dont deserve them.

You are right, if you carry on like this, you will most likely end up a sad lonley figure, and you wont get much sympathy from anyone, because its was enitrely your fault.

yaar tum holiday par chali jao kehi for like 2 weeks..refresh urself..ull forget everything n come back relaxed n happy

Re: urgent help needed

after reading gupshup i realize life out there is so complicated ...

i know my fiance needs to breathe away from me, even i need to get out of where i am and relax. i wanna go on a vacation like really bad. well i cant speak to my dad about first, firstly because im shy abt discussing my in laws with them. its difficult discussing them with my mother even. i know my mom isnt very much on my in laws side but maybe it is because of their attitude as well like this computer thingy?

ive talked to alot of ppl and everyone told me that its probably a misunderstanding between the two parties but i think my in laws shud make an effort and meet us more often. when their daughter will get married they will realsie what my parents felt.

i dont think i would know if he thought i was beneath them, there is no social interaction remember? my mom already feels that they dont meet us because they think we r low not upto their level.. when i go to their house he meets me nicely sits with me for 10 minutes and then goes in his room. maybe he just accepted the proposal cause his son loved me.

i dont want to change them, its fine they are unsocial but maybe they can understand how sensitive this marriage thing is and make more contact or atleast talk on phone. dont you think so? i tihnk when their daughter will get married then they;ll realise once and for all.

and hello? how is it all my fault? my only fault is telling my fiance. i told ihm bcz i didnt know what to do. my mind was spinning and i was on a sleeping pill to relax but it didnt work. the amount of drama ive had in my life anyone would be like me.

lucky you, you have a good life mashAllah. 1 year back my life was heaven too. i had no issues. now its upside down.

soni27 i wish i could go on a vacation away from all this.. i was never this person that i have become now. u know ever since yesterday ive hardly spoken to anyone.. my mind is still spinning due to the medicine i took..

i cant escape all this.

Re: urgent help needed

so you believe your parents, he believes his parents, no one is wanting to listen to to other's story, no one want to go to their parents and have a discussion about what actually happened - this seems a perfect recipe for new Reality Show.

PS: even if it happened exactly the way you are posting, whats the big deal?

PS2: by they way, why your dad does not have a computerized system at his shop anyway?

Re: urgent help needed

crazyfool......

i honestly believe that u are an extremely sensitive individual who has too much time on ur hands to think about these small issues. I have read ur threads previously and u always have an urgent issue, however, ur issues can easily be dealt with with passing of time.

now look...this issues for example...logically whats happened so bad that u cant sleep and are losing ur mind over. honestly ask urself this..

the fact that ur FIL spoke to ur father about something NORMAL, u dont know what tone was used...what was said but ur quickly thinkin about ending ur engagement. how old are u

dont get me wrong...but i think u need to get out abit more and realise that there are more serious issues out there than who meets who more and who said what.

enjoy ur humble life and stop creating issues for urself

You can't say that because you don't know anything about it.

But the point I wanted to make was that you have made it way to complicated for yourself.

If ten people suggest you something, it is not likely that that advice would have any meaning. But here ten people will suggest you ten different things. Is this complicating the situation or what?

My honest suggestion is go talk to a very close friend of yours, who understands you. Ask for his/her advice and implement it. And I know implementing is the hardest part.

i know whatever has happened isnt TOO big, but yes i feel bad that my father felt disrespected bcz of me. i dont want anything to happened to their respect all bcz of me. this is logical now isnt it?

when i told him that his father misbehaved with my father he said thats not possible. then he said i dont wanna talk to you i guess we're over.
we talked on a few texts. so i didnt want this to be over. he said it.. not me.

i dont really have close best friends. i have alot of friends but we all dont discuss real issues. so i head towards this site.

Re: urgent help needed

I will consider this as a confusion . and as non of you were there physically , try to get over it

and considering it as past , try to respect each other parents

It does happenens between Old Champs , if your parents did'nt wanted to tell you ... so why are you being so sensetive now !!

Life is not easy , you have to deal with these situations with coool mind and approach.