NJMasti.....very well said.
Shehman does sound like a perfect gentleman....and you have pointed him in the right direction by telling him that he should be happy with someone that loves him rather than searching forever for someone that he loves but may not love him back.
Chalo.....what's done is done.
Perhaps this was never meant to be.
Although it's sad to see someone pass up the opportunity to be with a girl that dotes on him, hangs on every word he says, caters to his every whim and desire....truly loves him.
Let's also try to forget that he could have gained the favour of Allah by being an influence in someone accepting Islam and potentially becoming a devoted momin.
Let's just put all this behind Shehman.
But be warned.....the next time one of the many girls that you chat with professes her undying love for you after only the first casual meeting which will not be a date, marry her.
that was quick.
just take any of ur handsome-rich friend with u next when u gonna be meeting her.
and she will forget u.
if not, then she loves u.
ps. if she loves then then she wont mind converting.
ps2. if u knew earlier that she is christian and u do have a personality then why bother dating her. it is pretty obvious that she would be glued to u.
Muzna again you have asked the same question. I have told you when she was on my msn list she used to talk casually - i mean when i log in she would say 'hi', 'how you doing' etc i just used to reply and thats it. I had no intention whatsoever and i have said this before it was the same case on her side. And as for your 2nd question. I never thought she will fall in love with me actually i didnt even think that we will meet up. All this happened suddenly & very fast.
Zobia: As i have said money is the last thing she want - when i offered her for a drink she refused and said no thanks. She has never talked about money & even said i am ready to go where ever & which ever place you till take me.
NjMasti: I really wish i could be hers' but i just dont see it happening. My family is quite strict when it comes to religion. I am not saying it's impossible for it will damn hard if i take this relationship any further. Right now i have no idea where i am heading to.
She called me yesterday on 'withheld' number; i didnt know it might be her so i just answered it - and the first thing she said after hearing my voice 'please dont hang up'. So i just told her this again & the usual response came from her. But this time she sounded a bit happy compared to the day before. I told her again in a very nice way please understand the situation we are both in and listen to your mind rather than your hear and give up with me. She still didnt agreed and said i want to meet you on sunday and want to discuss something with you which i cant do on phone - please dont refuse. I didnt agree to it and just said i will let you know tonight not now.
Now since i am wondering whether i should go or not. My friend said just go and tell her face 2 face and after that dont contact her. I think i should go and tell her this in clear words face 2 face and finish this off. And whatever she choose to do after that will be her wish & she will face the consequences.
Shehman , what the hell ...you are just leading it on arent you ? you go there , get her hopes up , keep telling her something else in words but your actions are saying something different ... buddy you are complicating the situation ...
If you are genuinely sincere about the situation , then tell her you are not interested and you wont be seeing her anymore. End of.
You don't have to meet her to tell her it's the end.
She wants to see - if you will still meet. If you do then she will definately think she CAN change your heart to like her somehow.
Just send one last message to her so she does not wait in hopes. Just text her and tell her that you have thought about the situation and have decided not to meet up and would like to end this back and forth messaging.
It might sound harsh, but you will be doing her a BIG favor in helping her move on instead on "clinging" on to your thoughts.
I am feeling sorry for the gal :( - If she has seen her soulmate in you, then surely its difficult for her to let you go. But the way she has adopted to get you, is not the good and the right one. This way has never worked.
Change ur cell number or switch it off for few days.
Shehman.............have some compassion for this girl and let her go by explaining to her ONE LAST TIME that you can't be with her....................and then CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION.
Each time you call her..........even if it's for 10 minutes........or just 1 minute........you're hurting her. It's like leading her on.............even if that is not your intention.......and even if you don't perceive it that way.
Just because she contacts you, doesn't mean that you have to pick up the phone.
Imagine yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you were in love with a girl who rejected you? Wouldn't you try to move on from her so that you can heal? Wouldn't you want some space? Stop responding to her calls and emails. It's not rocket science. It's not hard to do. Yes, it will hurt her.........but she'll eventually understand that you truly mean it when you say that there is no future for the two of you. And this pain will hurt less than the pain of being continuously led on in an a relationship that's not mutual.
Once again.........give her one last firm yet caring and honest explanation..............and the** STOP** the communication. Change your cell number.........block her from sending you emails and instant messages.
*******Be more careful in the future regarding your online/MSN friendships with girls. Take this as a learning experience.
Exactly .. thats the most important lesson to be learnt ... we take such online communications way too easy where infact they are fully capable of turning someones life upside down !
People just come down, i have finally done it. It finished yesterday night. I called her & this is what i said:
"I know this is going to hurt you a lot & after hearing this you will be sad for few days or even for weeks. But due to cirumstances beyond my control - it is with great regret i have to inform you this that we cannot meet tomorrow and this is the last time i am calling you. I know you will cry, you may even curse me but in future you will realise that whatever i have done is for your & my benefit. Please understand the situation. I hope you get over this asap and live a good & happy life. Good Bye".
After hearing this she did started crying and didnt really said anything. All she said was "Ok" and i hanged up. I could just tell she was in a lot of pain. After few minutes she texted me said "please don't leave me please, at least we can be friends". I didnt reply. And since then she hasnt texted me nor she has called me.
My heart was bleeding for her when i called her the last time; i know the pain she was/is going thorough. But unfortunately i had no other option. Everything is finished.
I have blocked her from my MSN but i cant change my phone number because so many people have my number & i have been using this number for over 3 yrs now. Changing this number is not possible. This was truly a sad moment in my life & i hope and pray to Allah she gets over it asap. :(
Well ... glad its sorted .. however I hope you learnt a very valuable lesson out of all of this ... One's communications can cause so much hurt , so you need to be careful when you talk to the opposite gender .. today it happened to her , tomorrow it can happen to you ...