Still not liking it so much here, even to go out here we need the car and someone to take me, cant just pop out like we do back home in the west. of course these things are secondary really, but i dont know i feel like screaming from the rooftops…although i dont need to do anything, no ironing, washing etc, the maid does it all, i still feel crap. husbands still applyinf for jobs, and if he gets one out the city, he will travel back and forth he says hel take me too, but not straight away sub kuch dekna hai, salary, ghar etc…but im sick of it. i just wana go home ( london )…
Still not liking it so much here, even to go out here we need the car and someone to take me, cant just pop out like we do back home in the west. of course these things are secondary really, but i dont know i feel like screaming from the rooftops...although i dont need to do anything, no ironing, washing etc, the maid does it all, i still feel crap. husbands still applyinf for jobs, and if he gets one out the city, he will travel back and forth he says hel take me too, but not straight away sub kuch dekna hai, salary, ghar etc....but im sick of it. i just wana go home ( london )....
ADVICE PLEASE...all i need...
You got yourself into this mess, shouldn't have married in the first place. And don't give the parents arguments. Coz only weak people do that. Also, I read your other threads and I thought your husband was pretty well established. If he doesn't even have a job and is unable to find one in such a long time, why the hell did you marry him???
BTW, why can't you go out? Security isn't *that *bad.
And ya, if you hate everything in your life so much, change it. If you want to go back so bad, *then **go back.* You get this life only once, so don't waste it away on trivial things.
You know you just gotta call your parents and tell them you are coming back, will they support you or not. Every *good *parent will.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but step up or shut up.
You got yourself into this mess, shouldn't have married in the first place. And don't give the parents arguments. Coz only weak people do that. Also, I read your other threads and I thought your husband was pretty well established. If he doesn't even have a job and is unable to find one in such a long time, why the hell did you marry him???
BTW, why can't you go out? Security isn't *that *bad.
husband family is well estbalished, he still needs a job, not gna sit on his backside all day is he...here, status is everything, its harder than london, where money matters, here, its not just money its the kind of job u have too.....and security is ok, its not about security, its the culture change, i see lots of women on their own, however itl take me agesssssssssss to be that way, and to be honest, its not like popping out in london..its different.
i married him because hes a kind, sincere, and loyal loving man, he understands everyhting, however i cant have everything my way all the time...however doesnt mean im happy all the time...
And ya, if you hate everything in your life so much, change it. If you want to go back so bad, *then **go back.* You get this life only once, so don't waste it away on trivial things.
You know you just gotta call your parents and tell them you are coming back, will they support you or not. Every *good *parent will.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but step up or shut up.
I made myself a promise, if i dont like it, il go back. but not now, its been 3 weeks.....il wait a year...however, its hard to keep jumping ship. im used to my mums house, her comforts, maybe im missing my mum more than london...
Mark my words you won't leave ever. Not after a year, not after 10. "Something" will keep coming up. Those who have not the resolve to do it *now, *can't ever.
Welcome to the Wasted Women Club. Your life is now officially wasted away.
so bascially whatever you try, your meant to give up a few days later.....i need to try it a while before i can just go chucking everything in.....anyway
Nadz, you said it yourself you can't have everything you want. But i believe most of the things that matter, you are blessed with them in form of your husband. So be happy!!!
With time all these things which rite now look alien to you wl become normal and you wl get accustomed to it but only if you keep a positive attitude.
:hinna: I dont blame u for being unhappy sometimes, it is really tough…its not easy to adjust ot any new country no matter how a part of ur life it is…
nadz, on this matter i sympathise with you. i could never see myself living permanently in pakistan. there are just too many things that would have me climbing the walls, especially where his parents live. i made it absolutely clear to my husband very early on after we met that it was never going to happen and if he had a problem finding work in the UK, there were countless other countries.
now really, it wasn't absolute. for example, if his parents absolutely needed us and we couldn't shift them to where we were. and after being engaged for so long and taking yearly trips to pakistan, staying in different cities, i did get to see a different side of it. if you have plenty of money (problem is, where people's 'plenty of money' comes from) and live in a place where all the conveniences exist, you can get along fine.
i met a young aunty who covers completely and has three kids but doesn't rely on anyone to do her stuff - she has her own car and tackles the busiest pars of multan on her own. she runs her own small business from home to keep herself occupied.
my point is, your life is what you make it. i think you live in peshawar or something up north, which probably makes independence a lot more difficult. but face up to it and DO something. because I agree with one of the other poster's, that it's highly unlikely that you will all move back to the UK.
Before anything else, I have to say Nadz, you've changed A LOT! In a good way. Gonna miss the drama queen.
From all your other threads, it seems like you and your husband have a good understanding so remember that while you go through the hard times. Think of it as an adventure, and enjoy it with hubby and baby.
nadz.. i am sure it's not easy to adjust to a new culture and living with your mom we get spolied :). Take one day at a time and if something is bothering you it's best to talk to someone. In your case since you are away from home and not getting the attention and things your way, things will start bothering you and adding up. It's best to do something that you like doing or something that relaxes you. I have heart their are women that come over do your manicures and pedicures, facials etc.. having a baby and then moving to a new place is not easy.. so take it slow and you will slowly adapt to everything :)
@ Nadz praising husband…