haha i can so relate! my mil was a disco queen back in her heyday and she keeps gifting me those horrible clubby clothes at christmas that are entirely too small and just nothing that i would ever wear. but like people here have said, accept it with a smile, and give it away to goodwill afterwards. if something like that will spare their feelings, go that route. and don't put hubby in the middle cos he's between a rock and a hard place- of course he's going to defend his family's taste to you, espe. his mom's. just expect it to be blah and pass it on. no harm done and you'll save yourself a ton of stress!
It's hard to talk about this without sounding like an ungrateful b**** but the thing is my in-laws keep giving me really horrible presents.
I keep telling them not to get me anything but they just don't listen. The problem is getting worse because every time they give me something it make me feel angry and insulted and I keep taking it out on my husband and then we have rows. I also don't have anywhere to store the rubbish.
It's mostly clothes. My MIL rang me a couple of days before Eid and asked me to bring one of my shalwar kameez so she could get the right measurements for when she buys my Eid clothes. I said to her very politely that I didn't want anything for Eid and if she really wanted to get me something then a box of chocolates would be great but she insisted I bring my suit…so I asked her if it was okay that I go with her when she buys my outfit and she said yes. Well she didn't take me and she bought the suit herself and gave it to me the night before Eid. It was maroon with gold sequins…the material was cheap and the suit was just tacky. Luckily the bag had the shops name on it so I gave it to my mum who returned it.
Yesterday the in-laws came round and gave me another 6-7 suits…all of them were really nasty odd sizes just pure cheap stuff and some cutlery too looks like they bought it from the "1 pound shop". Because I have told them in the past that I don't like the stuff and they have only given me more…now I just stay quiet and say thank you.
When they go home I argue with my husband who defends them and says the stuff is nice….by the way my husband himself only wears designer clothes even his gym clothes have to be Hugo Boss, Lacoste blah blah….
My husbands pupoo also gave me a suit on Eid…it was sooo cheap and nasty it was embarrassing.
What shall I do…how can I stop this without ending up rowing with the in-laws…I have tried speaking to my MIL but she gets very pissed off.
Also, they know I don't like the clothes coz they have never ever seen me wear any one of them.
Do any of you have this problem?
I've gotten some tacky gifts from people before but I guess the best thing to do is to accept them with appreciation. At least they thought about you and made an effort. When I went to visit family in India a couple of years ago, some aunty gave me 2-3 outfits none of which were of my taste but she kept asking me if I liked them and why I didn't wear them, so finally I wore the best of the 3 to her home one evening and she was really happy. Eventually you can donate the stuff.
Sparrow, i forgot to say earlier you arent the only one who feels like this. Some of my other relatives (not inlaws) keep buying us stuff that we know even they dont wear. And we know they can afford better than that but they still give us suits in ugly colors and prints, plastic shoes that people mostly keep in teh bathroom or shirts for my brother that are too small. I am not sure WHY they do it but it really feels like they do it on purpose. Other relatives get much much better presents from the same ppl. My mom just fumes over at it and puts the stuff away. I mean what else can you do?
how about all of you girls return those tacky gifts back to them as a pressie???
I have done that.. one of my phopos gave me this ugly kapra for my nikkah which I didn;t like at all and she knew it's not our taste.. her daughter came to visit me when I was in Pakistan and I regifted that to her saying, I dun wear such clothes so there is no point of keeping it.. since it came from your house, it's your taste so you keep it!!! (hint: I was very polite and I acted like I am doing her a favor :D) Its been almost 3 years now, never and ever again I got gifts from them... we exchange money now. :D
I have the same horrible gifts from my inlaws as well.......... I never wore them and I passed it on to other people who like it............. or sometimes I donate it.
some peoples doesn't care what your taste is because they are not taht intelligent to understand,or may be they are kunjoos makhi choos.................. lol
However when I am giving a gift to anyone I try my best keeping ones personality in my mind............. and majority likes my gift even sometimes it is more then their expectation....................
But my inlaws have the same problem like urs and really it hurts me a lot..........seems to me like that they just throwing this fromality from their head to me...........and they have no interest whether I like it or not.............. .
The solution is let them know what exactly you like............ as I did in my case .......... but still I have to do more work on that............lol
im sorry bt u do sound ungratefull , perhaps they buy the suits that are to their taste rather than yours , u shud look at their clothes and see if they r wearing stuff like they brought for u . u shudb gratefull that they actually care and give u suits.
Its a given that everything that comes from in-laws is bad and nasty, isn't it?. Perhaps its more psychological than it is real.
If i dont like anything that my ammi gets me, i usually tell her. She once spent a couple of hundred dollars on buying me some jewlery that i knew i would never ever wear. I asked her to exchange it for something else. At the moment she was offended but she eventually forgot about it. And every single time i wear the replaced item, i get compliments on it.
who cares if the clothes are tacky or not to ur taste... talk to ur MIL and let her know what u like but dont degrade her choice infront of everyone... especially ur hubby.
It may not be ur choice, but wear it once or so to make them happy and move on..
they're probably thinking ur some stuck up cow the way ur acting...
and for those who are saying to give it to charity... what does one do when the inlaws ask where the suit is?
Hmm if, like in Ira's case, others in ur in-laws get nicer things from the same people, i cud understand why u'd be pissed. but if not, just ignore it and move on, give those things away. and not everyone iwll have the same taste as u, frankly if u give it to someone by saying "i thot this was too ugly for me but its perfect for u", i dont think that wud og over too well...
maybe...if it was "love" they cud be doing it on purpose b/c they dont like that it was a love marriage and not one arranged by theM? lol... thats what it always comes down to !!
but sometimes if that thought or intention is not "right", theN it's easy to get frustrated. but for that, you really have to know htose people extremely well to even have any clue about their intentions.
