Exodus
January 8, 2012, 1:15am
51
Re: Unmarried guys
Peace Exodus
Agreed … there is no real difference in this than any other conditional nikkah … First of all I have now read up about Talaq Tafwid and it is something which is brought out of ijtehad and not from the Sunnah.
Furthermore I have learned that tafwid is only valid if the husband gives the right to the wife … otherwise it is not valid, she may seek it and it may get rejected. It is then her choice to proceed with the marriage or not … while in a marriage where she has not got this right written in to the contract then she does not have automatic right to it. My whole initial argument has been about automatic right that cannot be overturned …
Mahr must be given it cannot be overturned
Also a woman may have other things written on the contract as a condition to the marriage … if the man does not uphold them then she can seek khula …
It is not about what is preferable to men … holding on to a sour relationship is as bad for a man as a woman … I am trying to gauge the divine guidance of nikkah … there are in my understanding two aspects:
a) The Divine Rules
The Divine Rules cannot be overturned in any marriage contract … however aspects of mutual agreement (of which tafwid is one) becomes binding … but it is possible that two people mutually agree on something which is harmful to them but it is still binding since there is a contract in place … The Divine Rules however will never be harmful … or rather never be the greater of two possible harms.
Furthermore the basic nikkah will still be valid if all divine rules are followed and no conditions attached.
Peace Psyah bhai.
First and foremost, worth appreciating/commendable is the fact that we’ve finally reached upon a mutual agreement of opinions/views. Comes as no less than a fresh/pleasant breath of air. However do forgive the Brother for any mistakes he may have managed to make along the way unintentionally.
The ultimate right indeed lies with the Husband principally and primarily, there was no denying (as obvious in my previous post) about it. However the wife as well has been left with a few credible options to choose from, which clearly would be to seek for the rights she’s been given.
According to the tafwid, the husband not only has the authority to hand over the right to delegate to the wife, he can also to a 3rd party and on mutual consent of the husband and the wife. Even though it ought to be the most least preferable right to be given to some of us, it is however something he could do if both choose to go ahead with it.
The divine rules you mentioned of are indeed unquestionable and harmless to mankind. Conversely however, there are no reasons for us not to take up or utilize the benefits of the “mutual agreements” you also mentioned. I just believe it leaves room for the women to feel less insecure and more powerful, maybe not entirely on an even scale but reasonable amounts is indeed harmless and rightfully for their own very sake.
Thought I’d share a few excerpts that may well have the potential to enlighten us all about the very subject being discussed.
This is based upon the incident where the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) gave his wives the option to remain in his marriage or be divorced. Allah Most High said to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace):
“O Prophet! Say to your wives: “If it be that you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner. But if you seek Allah and His Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter, verily Allah has prepared for the well-doers amongst you a great reward.” (Surah al-Ahzab, 28)
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) deserted his wives for a period of around one month, after which the above verse was revealed.
Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates: “When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) was commanded to give an option (of divorce) to his wives, he started with me saying: “I am going to mention to you a matter in which you should not (decide) hastily until you have consulted your parents.” She (A’isha) said that he already knew that my parents would never instruct me to seek separation from him. She said: “Then he said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: “O Prophet, say to your wives: If it be that you desire the life of this World, and its glitter, then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner. But if you seek Allah and His Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter, verily Allah has prepared for the well-doers amongst you a great reward.” Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) says that I said to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace): “About this should I consult my parents, for I desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter?” She (A’isha) said: “Then all the wives of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) did as I had done.” (Sahih Muslim, no. 1475)
Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) also narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) gave us the option (m: to remain with him or to be divorced), so we chose (and preferred) Allah and His Messenger. Giving us that option was not regarded as a divorce.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4962)
Imam al-Sarakhsi (Allah have mercy on him) states:
“If a man delegates the right to divorce to his wife, then this is similar to giving an option (khiyar) in trade, except that this is completely valid and logical, for the husband is the owner of issuing the divorce, thus he is in a position of delegating something that he owns. Hence, it will be binding, in that the husband will not have the right to revoke this delegation.” (al-Mabsut, 7/221)
The Companions (Sahaba, Allah be pleased with them all) also unanimously agreed upon the validity of delegating the right to divorce to the wife. (See: al-Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar li ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/166 & Zaylai’i, Nab al-Raya, 3/229)