Re: unhappy marriage.
Hes a 90percent good man
Pretty Sad. These are your words yet you regret marrying him? You know may be he thinks that sarapathan is only 50% good yet doesn't think negative in the longer term.
This is a perfect example of how Pakistani women think these days. Immature & not ready / not fit to marry.
Re: unhappy marriage.
I want him to know how i feel. but when i talk to him, i dont think its serious for him. so i need to stop. tell me what to do please, although talking to him first, isnt something i want to do so please think of something else.
Why does he not think its serious? Do you complain a lot? Do you cy a lot? Do you two argue and fight a lot? If you do, maybe thats why its becoming "just another fight" and nothing serious. Maybe you need to try talking to him in a different manner.
If you do not talk to him, what other method of communication do you think you have available to you? You want him to know how you feel but do not want to tell him? Is that right? What he is doing is wrong but are you making it any better? These are just things to think about.
His mistake is his attitude...so how do you make him realize this without talking to him? In this situation, fighting fire with fire will not work IMHO. You might ned to take the first step and be the bigger person.
Re: unhappy marriage.
isn’t husband supposed to be the bigger person 
Re: unhappy marriage.
NomiCA - its not about who is supposed to be the bigger person. Each person should do their level best.
Re: unhappy marriage.
Do YOU feel he's a 90% good man, or is this what everyone else tells you?
Re: unhappy marriage.
He is a 90% good man and you regret being married to him and say that your are in a unhappy marriage? You know what thousands of girls around you don't even get a 50% good man and they are still happy/grateful for what they have got!!! Thank God for what he has given you and let it go!! Its going to be okay.
P.S. Some of us don't even have a man! :o
Re: unhappy marriage.
Re: unhappy marriage.
^
Re: unhappy marriage.
^ you will have it one day…i was only being supportive…
May you have your own EDAL 
Re: unhappy marriage.
^
I talked about a man, not a troll!! shudders
P.S. stop flooding :p
Re: unhappy marriage.
Thanks peoples.
Ok its not as if he wants me to turn tv off there and then, il say its finishing in 5mins or 10 misn or whatever.....and he will say ok. he just wants me there in the same bed because he just wants me there. he cant sleep without me being there, yes at times its sweet, sometimes its annoying when im doing something. he doesnt mind if after an hour or so i come back down to watch my tv, but initially he just wants some cuddle time..-sorry if this is treading on too much info!
yesterday, he said can you look at my cv add something in, i said ok, i did it there and then. i didnt ask kyun i didnt say nothing. just did it. when i ask him to do something for me he says `ok inabit or ok 1 minute..never there and then, thats my main annoyance.
yesterday he was saying baby is aslp ( he put her to sleep) and lets go, i said ok 1min, now i mustve taken 5 or more minutes and he was angry, because she was asleep and he said come and sort her cot out because he had her in his hands and if he put her down she would wake up. so we normally sort her sleepbag out and put in cot and then whoever is holding her will lie her down in the cot. so he was waiting for me to sort cot out.
still, it dididnt deserve anger, he does just as silly sthings, i never get as angry.
As im typing, it seems petty, our fight. But its not petty, as it affects me.Unless im uber sensitive.
Re: unhappy marriage.
I think you are being a little but sensitive in this matter. The fact is that when you say 1 min, while he is waiting for you to sort the cot so he can put the baby down. What are you busy in? Is it that important that he has to wait while you finish what you are doing. The fact is if I was him and if i ask my spouse to help me out with something and they are too busy watching tv or doing something else that is not important. It will really piss me off too. Example, I asked hubs to help me in kitchen with something, he said 1 min and took 10 mins because he is watching tv while I am standing there waiting for him. It really gets me irritated as well..
Maybe you need to prioritize your time better. TV is not important then him, you can let go of tv or find an alternative time to watch it when he is not home. And I think its Sweet that he waits on you till he goes to bed..
In marriage you need to work together to make things work. Which means both of you need to compromise.. See what things you could work on and I am sure he will do the same.
Don't worry, this is nothing to worry about.
Re: unhappy marriage.
THIS is worth regretting your marriage over? 
As for the other behaviour, I just think he’s moody. Next time, ask him if it’s his PMS.
Re: unhappy marriage.
no guys, GOSH i sound like nadz.lol sorry girl :
Its because i feel like my views dont have any value, we went to pakistan, and he wanted to go by emirates, i wanted to go by PIA because its a direct flight and better for our baby..anyway he said its onyl 2 hour stay in dubai plus its easier for his family to pick us up because PIA goes to islamabad which is 4 hours away from peshawar right? he said they will need to hire 2 cars ( theire own car needs to be fixed, and the car his dad had has gone as his dad is now retired ) so hiring cars and then travelling all the way is harder, its better to go by emirates where the airport is 5mins away from home. in the end he booked Emirates he didnt value my opinion.
does this sound silly of me? does it make sense. even though emirates was more expensice than PIA.
and other things like i said its little things that grate on me, like he will expect no questions asked from me, if i cry, he thinks im always crying, so no big deal. he wants certain dishes and today we had mehmaan round so i didnt make his desired dish, but made what the mehman wanted and he was huff-puff about that, didnt seem to care as maybe he wouldve had we not argued yday.im fed up of him thinking he has the upper hand, whats worse is that he never looks at himself, at wheres he wrong, never admits it, never says sorry ( on the big issues) and i dnt think hes changed, hes always been like this, and said he would change, he hasnt.
Re: unhappy marriage.
I can understand why you're getting upset - basically he is acting like he is the only person in the family whose opinion matters. He doesnt ask you anything or consult with you or make you feel like you're important.
Do you work? Do you have an education?
When was the last time you two went on a vacation together? Just to reconnect?
Re: unhappy marriage.
he does ask, but i feel like its his way in the end. what he feels best. sometimes he wont even have a proper reason itl just be his way. I do have an education, why? did have a job, now have a baby. im happy here, its not this. Its him. basically i just feel like he doesnt listen to me properly, doesnt pay enough attention, doesnt value my opinion. he loves me, but in his own way, which isnt good enough. yes he theres for me, hes loyal and nice to me, money wise hes very generous, hes nice enough but just feel like my opinions dont matter, im just a biwi and not sara.
do you understand?
also although he isnt violent at all, its just his quietness, hes so formal and quiet sometimes and sometimes i feel like maybe hel snap one day, its nothing hes done, its my own feelings, maybe OTT.
Re: unhappy marriage.
he does ask, but i feel like its his way in the end. what he feels best. sometimes he wont even have a proper reason itl just be his way. I do have an education, why? did have a job, now have a baby. im happy here, its not this. Its him. basically i just feel like he doesnt listen to me properly, doesnt pay enough attention, doesnt value my opinion. he loves me, but in his own way, which isnt good enough. yes he theres for me, hes loyal and nice to me, money wise hes very generous, hes nice enough but just feel like my opinions dont matter, im just a biwi and not sara.
do you understand?
also although he isnt violent at all, its just his quietness, hes so formal and quiet sometimes and sometimes i feel like maybe hel snap one day, its nothing hes done, its my own feelings, maybe OTT.
It seems like he is a nice man but he is not really connecting well with you. You're not doing anything as a couple...as a family probably but not as a couple. So, why dont you? Maybe once he loosens up, you can address these things nicely without a confrontation.
Why dont you try to take some time out alone...just the two of you?
Re: unhappy marriage.
no guys, GOSH i sound like nadz.lol sorry girl :
Its because i feel like my views dont have any value, we went to pakistan, and he wanted to go by emirates, i wanted to go by PIA because its a direct flight and better for our baby..anyway he said its onyl 2 hour stay in dubai plus its easier for his family to pick us up because PIA goes to islamabad which is 4 hours away from peshawar right? he said they will need to hire 2 cars ( theire own car needs to be fixed, and the car his dad had has gone as his dad is now retired ) so hiring cars and then travelling all the way is harder, its better to go by emirates where the airport is 5mins away from home. in the end he booked Emirates he didnt value my opinion.
does this sound silly of me? does it make sense. even though emirates was more expensice than PIA.
and other things like i said its little things that grate on me, like he will expect no questions asked from me, if i cry, he thinks im always crying, so no big deal. he wants certain dishes and today we had mehmaan round so i didnt make his desired dish, but made what the mehman wanted and he was huff-puff about that, didnt seem to care as maybe he wouldve had we not argued yday.im fed up of him thinking he has the upper hand, whats worse is that he never looks at himself, at wheres he wrong, never admits it, never says sorry ( on the big issues) and i dnt think hes changed, hes always been like this, and said he would change, he hasnt.
You took my words out of me.
Yes another Nadz in making. :D
OK
Let me try to explain.
Men and women when married, are to be there and should be for the long hall.
Two inivduals get tied in to each other in marriage with their consent. I assume you were too.
You got in to this relation somehow, and acceped the person.
None of your post says anything which shows he is a horrible/terrible person.
I do not think you have anything substantial there to make a case.
*Write one loooong post for all your concerns please and be done with. *
Sorry to be honest and blunt.
Re: unhappy marriage.
Sara, by the last name of your nick I'm assuming you both are of 'Pathan' background ?
I'm no expert but I'm guessing on the following;
Your Husband has a very strong self-ego issue. He is a born leader and acts like of 'full authority' in life or at least he acts where ever/when ever he can act it.
Secondly I'm guessing that you have a very Pretty Personality your self which over whelms him many a times and creates a 'Jealousy'zone (Think about it like a circle or a bubble)
each time you share this bubble with him he's Fine, and when you are outside of this circle he will do any thing to either 'draw you out of it or re-enter it with you...
imo, you must play it cool and keep talking to him as much as you can, involve him when ever you can, let him be in you zone or v/v . Because above all he has an anger issue as well.
Re: unhappy marriage.
It seems like he is a nice man but he is not really connecting well with you. You're not doing anything as a couple...as a family probably but not as a couple. So, why dont you? Maybe once he loosens up, you can address these things nicely without a confrontation.
Why dont you try to take some time out alone...just the two of you?
like what, i do not think a day out in the park is what we need,. we do go out. it doesnt cover the issues. and talking, doesnt work. because it ends up wrong, not what i want to say. what should i do...even if i did something sad like write a letter, doubt hes the sort of person who;ll feel touched that i wrote a letter, more like hel think god ab kaunsey dramey shurru...