Unfortunate story.. ?

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

no doesnt need it.

42

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

Coz i think in the bolded part, she’s talking about what the guy accused her of saying and not what she actually said.

43

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

Here=>
[QUOTE]
He referred to** the** physical relation we had and asked me** if it was not enough or if i **further wanted him to sleep with me.
[/QUOTE]

Come out of the shock cuz You are asuming too much. Firstly you dont have to assume i am far away from religion. I know all abt namaz and dua and i do that. I dont really have to mention here how many times a day i do namaz or ask for forgiveness or if i started that after my break up or before that.. but I would say that much.. I am good at analysing myslef. I do admit when I make a mistake..and I go back reconnect to Almighty.

Physical relation doesnt always mean the last extent of it. It starts from holding hands. And what we had was not too far. We listen to music, we dont cover our heads, we talk to opposite gender and even all that is against the teachings. We do that and try to find justifications. We find justification for everything as long as we want to do it.. and we have fatwas when we come across something that we havent done ourselves. THe point is .. we all have crossed the lines drawn by the religion, and we keep doing it all day long, one way or the other. But God is kind.. OR we all would have been damned already.

44

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

[QUOTE]
a*nd i had called him impotent since i thought he couldn't satisfy me physically*
[/QUOTE]

I was quoting him.. He thought i called him impotent because of that reason. Though I had told him in clear words that another guy said so about him.

I even know what made him say he couldnt satisfy me. Its being guilty conscious.

Thanks guys for the kind replies. I am told by everyone to move on and apparently that is the right choice. I know of one thing for now.. He is not involved anywhere else. I am looking for a strong enough reason for a break up when he was seriously involved.

We worked in same place and i did hear a lot of negative stuff about him. He is 30 but is not married and lives alone. Though he has extremely amicable and polite way of interacting with ppl, they believe he is double faced. And he does say he has another personification that he carries to the offices. He is the GM out there.. and all his sub ordinates say stuff like he has gfs, he 'cant marry"( I dont know what this would mean). He had been a yester-year neighbour and people in our street do know him. I heard one man saying he way very good guy and i heard other one saying he was a meethi churi.

But I always found him kind of straight forward with me. He was amicable but yet he never hid anything negative about himself. I knew of the girl he actually was involved with before me. He always admitted that he did have a relationship with her. I know of his routine.. he hardly sleeps or cares abt his food cuz he works at four places and at all those places he holds very responsible positions.. GM, Director op and so. But he did start relationship with me. And he always found it difficult to give me time.

God knows.. Its just i good i can vent out here.

45

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

Not everyone can admit they had any kind of physical relationship. I think you did, you have enough courage to state the truth. Of course its not right in Islam but I am sure whoever is saying what you did was wrong aren't saints themselves. We all make mistakes and learn from it.

You need to start doing things that would keep you busy (work, study) and that should help you not think about him too much. Like Mirch said, give it time and you'll heal. This time is tough but it will change. If you can fight with yourself, not think about him, focus on other things in life, don't talk to him, avoid him at all cost, tell yourself he just wasn't the right person for you, you'll come out of this situation. He treated you like c*ap, so even when he comes say sorry, you should know that he ruined your life and you have to move on. Like you said, you are pretty, educated you can get a nicer guy so why settle down for a jerk!

46

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

how exactly is her life ‘ruined’??? :konfused:

47

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

well u liked the wrong guy.Please move on.

a real man, no matter how difficult the situation be shouldnt be disrespecting u

48

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

well then real men are really hard to find these days

49

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

yeah specially when you have so many of those creeps around asking creepy questions to rate people's piety.

50

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

once someone told me: "damit, all good guys are either gay or married :("

51

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

I suppose you're not the married one?

52

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

You should be glad you've come to know so much about him way before any formal committment. Say Alhamdulilah and have faith that the right person is out there for you and will come along when it's meant to be. You are young and you should take time out and utilize the time you spend sulking over such a relationship over something that's actually worth it. If a guy has already said 'it's over..' etc.. you should just make a clean break and let him be. I know it's much easier said than done.

p.s. hugs

53

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

Move on... He isn't worth it. Just as no one else knew about his physical relationship to you, you will never find out his with anyone else.

Some day in the future, you will get to see his true face and you'll laugh on all the silly things you are doing now.

I am saying this cause i have been through this, try to relocate, find more friends, but no one related to him. If he was such an angel he wudn't have gotten involved in the sexual relationship before marrying you or to the least getting engaged to you.

His character is quite visible here. If he can have sex with you and dumb you, he can do it with any other girl. If it was his sister being dumbed after all that, he wud have gone crazy, how cud he not think you cud be someone's sister too!!

54

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

In romantic relationships , physical relation means only one thing. That definition of physical relationship saved Bill Clinton his presidency and saved him from impeachment.

you provided too much information yourself , you could get by omitting most of the details of the extent of your relationship with that two faced , immature guy.
Everybody here is basing their advice on what you told here, nothing is being assumed.
You are right to the extent that very few people in this world are pious enough based on true Islamic definition of piety.
Most folks in this thread are your well wishers and care about your well being that is why they are giving you advice which in their opinion is right and fits the situation .
I guess that is why you opened this thread.
From your previous posts and threads I know that you are a nice happy go lucky girl those characteristics of your personality will help you heal faster. Go back to your normal life. This world is full of good guys too , who will care for you and respect you for what you are.
Well, I mean good for you and pray to Allah that he give you sabr and strength to get over you ordeal and keep us all on straight path. Ameen.

55

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

wrong

lol

56

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

excuse me for playing the devil's advocate...........but how is the onus of immorality/bad character on him.........if the sex was consentual?? if he had forced himself on her....that would be undeniably his fault................but if both of them consented .... how can you put all the responsibliity of 'bad character' and 'premarital relations' only on the guy??? i am sure the OP isn't a minor...most probably an adult........

57

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

She has clarified already that she did not have sexual relationship with this guy. Just hand holding etc.

58

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

yes...even that.....consider my statement replace "sex" with "hand holding"........if both of them held hands......with consent.......how is the guy of a worse character compared the girl???

59

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

She is pious , he is an angel , I am the bad one here I guess, as I am an average Joe , which is worst position to be in, now a days.

60

Re: Unfortunate story.. ?

So it was a wham bam thank you ma'am?

Just move on, there's more fish in the sea.