I can totally relate to shark laser.. just with the difference he was married, i was not.
A fine relationship and all at once the worms start creeping in. “You are a very good girl and you can find a very good guy.. ur husband will be very lucky”. “I cant give you proper time and so its not just”. I never let it ago. I was eventually told i disrespected him and so his feelings for me had subsided. i couldn’t understand how i did so.(He wanted to see me..I waited all day for him.. and when he did show up, he had no time. He asked me to show up again next day and he repeated. I was mad and i left in a rude manner.. i pulled my arm away from him. Is it too much disrespect after i spent 5 hours sitting in restaurant for two consecutive days only to find out he had only 20-30 mins for me..Not big enough disrespect to break a relationship).
Then A friend came to me who i had never talked to abt my relationship and she had the audacity to tell me that another guy and not this one was better for me. I asked my guy if he had been seeing this girl(I have seen ppl ending up relationship only when they think they found a better match) and he said no. But something inside told me that maybe this girl bull ****ed.. said something ridiculous about me to him(she is known to do so). I know this kind of interpretation was not just but since i was unable to digest the ‘breakup’ .. i was almost sure that she ruined my relationship.. otherwise love cant suside just like that. So i sent him a text which probably proved last nail in my coffin. I wrote to him that somebody who has been working with him told a common friend that he was impotent, his landlady told my dad he used to bring women along when he was living with her on rent, i heard all kind of non stuff but i believed only him. And he listened to this girl and didn’t even trust me". He replied saying sab sahi kehtay hein. I by no means meant that i believed any of this stuff.. but my point was that i trusted him enough to not even investigate.
From the day he had broken to me the news that he wanted to move on till that point, i had being calling and texting him all day. I had being trying to remind him his promises and all that stuff. But then after this episode, We stayed out of touch for a few days .. primarily because my BP had been low and i had no more courage. Then i called one of his offices. A friend of mine had applied over there for a job and so we were keeping follow up. I was so lost i couldn’t even recognize him. And he was extremely rude to me for the first time. He told me i should stop beings ridiculous and should stop following him. He then asked me to call my dad over the phone. I dialed his number from my dad’s phone and passed it on to him. The guy had visited our house once and so my dad and he did know each other. They talked abt random stuff and hanged up. I texted him saying i expected my dad to shoot me after the call but he was too nice and so i loved him.(He asked me to stop doing ridiculous stuff.. i could have done all of it, i had told him i would contact his sis but there was no point.. I only called one of his very close friends who did know abt us.. i wanted to ask him the reason for break up.. but he smartly told me he knew my guy only professionally and couldnt interfere in his personal stuff).
Next morning i texted him saying how a little a kid told me he gets fed up of things quickly and i told the kid when he grows up, he will make gfs, get fed up and then dump them. (pun was of course intended). That day he called me. And was disrespectful to me more then anything. He told me he simply didnt like me anymore.. he had crush on me and it was gone. I shouldn’t contact or follow him or he will ‘hit back’. I told him he must do all that he could, the worst was done already. He referred to the physical relation we had and asked me if it was not enough or if i further wanted him to sleep with me. I simply asked him why he did all this and he told me he couldn’t stand disrespect.. and i had called him impotent since i thought he couldn’t satisfy me physically. I wanted to explain but he hanged up. I texted and texted writing all the justifications. In the mean time I received a text from a guy(I should have mentioned we both worked in the same office and i resigned recently). This guy was sub ordinate to him and knew all about the break up. He texted me saying that he did talk to N abt us. I replied him that he called me and did a lot of "bakwas’. So here was a real disrespect, i had used the word ‘bakwas’ for him. I dont know how he found out abt it but next day he told me that since he had been doing “bakwas” there was more disrespect.
I cry all the time, i have been sick, i have lost my self respect by repeatedly calling and texting him..All that i have heard from him in return is “gone”, “dead”, “over”, “too late”, “no point”, “go away”. He doesnt understand. I have talked to a few friends who are not common about the break up. I am told i can have any guy fall for me, i am young, (he is 9 years older), i have looks.. but this is not all it is about, now is it? My heart still is there and i simply dont come out of it. I literally cant sleep, or eat. Or even do anything for that matter. I am unsure how ill get out of it. Unfortunate , even childish.. isnt it?
