This is such a wonderful thread, so I thought I’d bring it back
I’ve got a story of my own to share. During the days when my family had first started sonsidering my husband for me, I recieved a rishta from this family living in our neighbourhood. The family had been settled here for years, and their son was in his final year of medicine but studying in a different city from us. His mother sent us his picture (he was quite good looking) and after doing some digging my mom sent over my picture too. I guess she must have liked what she saw because she asked for more pictures and even came to see me (albeit under pretense of it being a casual neighbourly visit). This is where things got weird…she would call my mom every other day and talk about her amazing son. How smart, handsome and accomplished he was, how he had recieved so many rishtas, blah blah blah. Soon after that, she started asking my mom about increasingly odd things about me (how well I did in school, how much I earn, etc.) but seeemd unwilling to provide any more information on her son. The weirdest thing was when she actually sent me this other girl’s linkedin profile saying that this is the biodata some other potential rishta sent in for her son and that she wanted me to make a similar profile of my own that she could look at. I was spooked and told my mom so, but since I already had a profile on linkedin, my mom just sent her the link. All this time she kept saying that her son will be coming home soon and that she wanted us to meet. He was supposed to come in Feb, but got delayed for whatever reason so she rescheduled for April. This went on for a while, but finally my mom got past her “doctor damaad” daydreams (she says his mom gave her the “heebie jeebies”) and said yes to my husband’s family sometime before April. The guys mom kept calling my mom for a few weeks afterwards and regularly expressed dissapointment, since she seemed to think we would wait around till she’d ascertained her son couldn’t do any better than me. Needless to say, she was not invited to the wedding festivities…
definitely sounds like we had the same rishta mishap lol. This guy’s mom recruited his cousin who lived in the same city as me (and thus had some of the same acquaintances) to stalk my whereabouts for 2 years and then when I was about to graduate called with a rishta. At first she was super nice but then she started talking about how great her son was and would count off the ‘amazing’ rishtas he was getting. She kept telling my mother that she doesn’t know why she likes me so much because everyone kept telling her that she could find someone sooo much better (her son was a phD). My mother was annoyed so told them to go ahead and get him married to the other qualified girls because we weren’t interested. She still kept pursuing it though …until she found some girl back home. And then they vanished lol
Got a rishta from someone who completed their university degree in 1997, two years back. I was in the 3rd grade or something at that time. The weird thing is my parents seriously considered it but they were like meh no at the end.
I have one- I was recently in Pakistan for my SIL’s wedding. Hubby and his family live in a joint family system with his chachu and other cousins etc. So one day, hubby and FIL were out and I was walking from the lounge room up to my room (you have to cross a huge lawn to do so) when I noticed some random auntys sitting with my MIL and hubby’s chachee- I ignored them and went up to my room. When I came out awhile later the auntys had left but I found out they had come to ask for my rishta lol. My MIL kept telling them I am their bahu and not just a cousin of the family which they assumed when they spotted me somewhere. Finally they left but the expression on hubby’s face when MIL told him was priceless- he is pathaan and was furious that someone was asking for his wife’s rishta lol and we had to keep reminding him that they didn’t know I was married. Lucky hubby was not home when they came or he would have lost it- nonetheless he told MIL not to let any random auntys in the house again! And my own mother on the other hand? Could not stop laughing when I told her…
Another one- this one is kinda sad and unresolved atm but IA it has a good ending. A girl in our family in Pakistan was engaged at the age of 21 to her cousin’s son. Engagement lasted roughly 2 years then the girl’s side broke it off as the guy was being rude and basically saying things to her like “I won’t let you see your family after marriage” (duh- they are the same family!). Anyway, after searching for a rishta for the next 3 years (and becoming more and more worried), a proposal came for the girl- a middle class family in Pakistan but the guy is settled with a good job in Canada. Btw the girl is pretty, the guy is less than average looking and a fair bit older than her too. Anyway, the girl’s family said yes to the rishta but wanted a nikkah (as the previous engagement had broken and they didn’t want it happening again). So within a week a nikkah was arranged and the guy went back to Canada saying they would immediately lodge the girl’s immigration papers. Once the guy left for Canada, girl and guy remained in contact on the phone etc and all was fine but then some cracks started to show. He was now recently in Pakistan and abused the heck out of her because she got a layered haircut (he thinks she should have sought his permission). He then left Pakistan and didn’t call her for 1-2 months and finally the girl’s family rang his father and asked what the problem was. The guy’s father spoke to the guy and he has now commenced calling her again but it has now come to light that they didn’t lodge her immigration papers until almost 1 year after the nikkah was done. And each time the girl’s parents ask for ruksathi, the guy’s side says lets just wait until her papers are done- even though the girl’s family says they don’t mind if she lives with her in laws whilst waiting for the visa process to finish but they just won’t do it apparently they have another bahu who has also been nikkah’d to their other son and is also at home without ruksathi for 2 years- don’t know what these people are playing at but I really hope it works out for them…their elder daughter was divorced within 6 weeks of her ruksathi as her husband turned out to be abusive etc so they are so scared for their younger daughter now.
A cousin of mine found whilst going through just prior to the nikkah ceremony that his wife to be wasn’t 4 years younger then him but 4 years older then him! He was such a beta that he went through with. She’s one of those fair lovely girls - she was black when I first saw, 1 year later she’s whiter then sugar. Yuck!
It was literally 10 minutes before the nikkah, when they were checking the paki id cards. Everyone told him to walk, but girls parents did the whole mazloom becharay izzat bs thing and he fell for it. Unfortunate for him if you ask me.
Not that I condone lying - it was despicable for the girl’s parents to do that. But it showed that he’s a classy guy, and if nothing else Allah swt sees the good thing he did.
Yes, the world does work in mysterious ways. Your cousin is happy with the marriage and even you admit she’s “really nice” once you got to know her…YET you still feel this was “unfortunate” for him.
She must have used those faiza beauty cream/gypsy amazing cream/golden pearl beauty cream which has HQ & steroids in it & makes you fair instantly. Not good for your skin in long run trust me.
I do have another story though…This happened to my sister. Her university has a non-denominational chapel where anyone can go and pray. This is where she usaully went to pray. She had this Pakistani guy in one of her classes (even though she was an undergrad and he was an international grad student). She had worked with him on a class project and said hello to him a few times afterwards. He mistook that to mean they were meant to be together forever. He started hanging out around the chapel so he could “accidentally” run into her. He won’t say much, but just say hi and kinda stare from a distance. My sister freaked out a little and started avoiding him; after a while, she also blocked him from facebook.
Things were quite for a while, but then he messaged me on facebook (he had seen my name on the invite list for some event or other and since my sister and I have the same last name, he figured we’re related). His first message was normal sounding, so I responded politely. His preceding messages got increasingly weird/scary/funny/delusional. Following are just some of the things he wrote to me in an attempt to get my sister to meet him:
I love her more than anyone else could and I want her to meet my family.
When is she graduating? My intentions are paak. I want to come over and talk to your parents about our future.
Does she have any other guys in her life? (at this point, I was ignoring his messages since my sister didn’t want to encourage him, but that didn’t seem to faze him at all)
I don’t know why she isn’t getting my messages. There must be something wrong with facebook and her email
I saw her the other day but I didn’t go up and say hi because I was feeling too shy. I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings
Please don’t tell her I’m writing to you, it would really hurt her feelings that I went behind her back to talk to you (ofcourse I told her)
I’m so desperate to talk to her. Can you please try to find out if she likes me back? (without telling her I’m writing to you)
I am so regretting not telling her my feelings earlier. She is about to graduate now and I don’t know how often I’ll see her now.
The guy was committed too…won’t take a hint and kept sending us both messages till about 9 months after my sister made it clear she didn’t want him. I wanted her to get a restraining order because he was saying some really weird stuff, but she didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was. Eventually, my sister threatened to involve the police and he left her alone, thank God.
I hate it when that happens. I had one girl tell me she felt electricity when I was around her and how she wanted to me to meet her parents - I was just being nice and my cheery old self, like WTF?
For delusional people, when you say hello to them, the other person hears:
***You’re the best-looking, smartest person in the whole entire universe, and really, hello isn’t just hello, it’s my declaration of love, acknowledgement that we’re soulmates and heck, let’s also call it a proposal of marriage.
***But honestly - if you visualize it: I think Joey from Friends ruined it for most people when his “How you DO’in” because a code phrase for propositioning a girl
Siren’s story reminds me of when I was in Uni. He came to class late, and saw me doodling in my notebook in Urdu, so he struck up a conversation - I politely responded. After the next class, without asking my permission, he walked me to my car. I thought that was a bit odd.
Time after that, in class he asked me out. When I told him I wasn’t down with that (me being the good bachi who assumed the whole arranged marriage/parental introduction was necessary) told him, I wasn’t that kind of girl.
Next time (and keep in mind, this was a class of about 60 people and the only one offered to our year, so no way of avoiding him) - he said he wanted to send his parents to my home to meet my family. I was like WHAT!!!
How did we go from probably no more than 10 minutes of forced conversation to, mein kab sehra baan kai a’oon?
More funny than unfortunate, but there was this aunty hell bent on marrying her son to my friend. The son was in the US and my friend in India. She invited friend and her parents over for dinner and started praising her son to the moon and back. But the icing on the cake - she insisted on reading out her son’s poems (not grown up stuff - things he had written as a child) and showed them all his awards from school and up.
I think it was all for the better that the son wasn’t there at that time.. I can imagine how mortified he’d have been!!
Needless to mention, my friend politely declined the rishta.
apparently they have another bahu who has also been nikkah’d to their other son and is also at home without ruksathi for 2 years- don’t know what these people are playing at but I really hope it works out for them…their elder daughter was divorced within 6 weeks of her ruksathi as her husband turned out to be abusive etc so they are so scared for their younger daughter now.
