I would see the person in a completely different light. It has nothing to do with being judgmental.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
if they cheated on you with someone else? If they have really repented and changed their ways and I mean REALLY, then maybe it could be forgiven. But it would be really hard.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
once a cheater, always a cheater.
it’s a person’s character flaw.
I can’t forgive it.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
well it depends upon ur relationship with cheating person n circumstances as well… if ur spouse cheats on u and u have got no children, u should leave him/her..no chance of forgiveness… in case of having childdren, one has to forgive for the sake of children… in case of blood relation, again u have to forgive… any relationship other then above no chance of forgiving in my dictionary…
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
There might be a chance for forgiveness if the person who was cheated on feels/realizes that they made mistakes that encouraged their partner’s infidelity. And I feel that the above sentence may lead to confusion. So to clarify, there’s no justification for infidelity. But perhaps if one person realizes that their own actions…such as frequently having a bad attitude or being emotionally unavailable …may have created a distance in the relationship that led their partner to seek fulfillment of their needs elsewhere…then there may be room to think, “Chalo meri bhi ghalati thi”…and to forgive. However, in the case where a partner has a victim-mentality…then they make think that they are always at fault or deserving of poor treatment from their partner. But then that’s an esteem issue.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
People aren’t born with character flaws - so it cant be like ‘’ once a cheater , always a cheater’’ !
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I wouldn’t respect them anymore. And I guess once respect is lost what’s left?
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
i too believe in the once a cheater, always a cheater stance. i don’t think cheaters can change… but i don’t know..
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I think ‘cheating’ is a big mental barrier that one has to cross. However, once crossed, it becomes a lot easier to cross the next time. I do think that Allah has given humans the will power to forego things that we enjoy and then there’s the whole argument on repentance. If someone has truly repented, their spouse would get to know (and perhaps should be satisfied with it) in a year or two. In the opposing scenario, it’s not worth putting up with a person who doesn’t have any shame.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I think this is a very individual thing and nobody can decide for the other whether or not it is okay to forgive a spouse that has cheated.
Circumstances like family dynamics, age, reasons provided by the perpetrator and their efforts to correct the situation will all play a role.
To me the bigger question is whether it is forgettable…
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
Erm not really..
If everyone thought this way we’d basically be giving the green light for married people with kids to cheat.. well the men anyway (I say this because I’m guessing if we’re talking about “blood relations” the same rule wouldn’t apply if the wife was caught cheating)..
I don’t believe people should *never *be forgiven if they cheat but I’d personally not want my kids brought up thinking it’s ok to cheat or be cheated on..
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
Like if I find my wife cheating(khudankhawasta)
I am going to tell her.. shabash go wild…
But remember when you stand before God.
Then I would get busy with children and stuff. Lots in life to do should no make your self sick over some one so silly.
Like that.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I understand what you’re saying and you’re right about people needing fulfilment but I feel some people (not you) are too quick to say the wife should change or accept if her husband is being unfaithful.. And saying “do it for the children” really irks me.. Firstly, are us women so worthless we should only exist for others’ happiness? And secondly as if kids are so stupid they don’t realise what’s going on.. Is this the way to bring up children, by lying and trying to cover things up? Is it good for our daughters to learn if husband cheats best just look the other way?
If the the other person is lacking in some way that’s still no justification to cheat imo.. If you really want to be with someone else there are solutions such as separation or even divorce, solutions which don’t involve lies and deceit.. No-one should feel they need to stay in a sham marriage..
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I shared my opinion on the basis that my biggest concern is my children…n I can sacrifice anything for them.. Even God forbid if I find my husband cheating on me, I have to forgive him just bcuz I don’t want my children to suffer.. Similar is the case of ur blood relations.. u CANT leave ur blood relations at any cost.. I have seen many examples in my life that blood relations ultimately end up forgiving each other despite watever has happened
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
I swear I saw ConfusedMe like the comment of soconfused at the top… 
back to topic
I’d be really offended if my wife did something like that. I won’t get over the fact that I did not do anything despite temptation and opportunities all these years but still found a wife who could not resist. Final decision can be anything, but as of today I’d part my ways with her even if I have kids.
Like they say… Cheating is a choice not a mistake!
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
Children might suffer more with a cheater/liar as a father.. and seeing the effect it has on their mother..
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
It’s never good for either daughters or sons to learn to look the other way if their spouse cheats on them.
We may be willing to overlook a transgression for the sake of our children but if we teach our children to do the same, will we be able to watch them live through that pain or will we be the ones dragging them home by the ear if/when their spouses cheat on them?
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
^Yes and of course it applies to both..
I just wrote it that way because I’d just mentioned beforehand about staying for the sake of the children, which is usually aimed at mothers..
A husband shouldn’t have to tolerate cheating either and sons and daughters should know it’s equally wrong whoever cheats..
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
moral of the story - have childruns asap. then cheat away to your heart’s content. wife is locked into housewife mode. will never leave. can never leave.
Re: Unfaithfulness, how can it be forgivable?
Actually, I disagree. Cheating is in someone’s fitrat. If you’re the type of person that can look at other women/men when you’re married and ACT on those intentions, then that’s YOU has a person. It takes a certain type of person to cross that boundary and destroy their lives and their SO’s life like that.
The cheating I’ve come across is more of the “always looking out for the next best/hottest/newest/youngest thing”. If that’s your mentality in regards to your relationships, then yes, that’s definitely a flaw in you as a person and something I can’t forgive.
I’m not saying everyone has to follow it. But that’s what I believe from what I’ve seen. And once that respect and trust in a relationship is gone, I’m out. If you can forgive it more power to you, but I would spend the rest of my life wondering if that girl he works with or my female friends or HIS female friends etc etc could be potentials for him to cheat with.