In desi community of US, the words uncle and aunties have become a derogatory comment. They are no more used to show respect . People use them to imply that the person who is being called an uncle or auntie is close minded , illitrate , goofy desi person of old age.
Also people call other people uncle or auntie just to show that they themselves are very young and the person who they are calling uncle/auntie is old. A person is called uncle/auntie by people older than him/her. Because this poor uncle/auntie got married at an early age and has teenager kids and this so called younger person got maried at older age and has very young kids.
I am a victim of this behavior. Even on GS since I have told stories of my teenage sons I have become an uncle now for some guppans who have their own kids may be a little younger than mine.
A wife of a friend of mine ( Mrs. A) was complaining about similar situation at a dinner at our home. she said that she and her teenage daugheter were in a party. Now note Mrs. A looks younger than her age and her daughter looks older than her age.
So one of the women ( Mrs. B) at the party commented to Mrs. A . " Baji mashallah your sister is very cute".
Mrs. A said " She is not my sister she is my daughter." After this answer Mrs. B who might be a couple of years older than Mrs. A started calling Mrs. A auntie due to simple reason that Mrs. B has younger kids.
Uncle Mirch. Very nice topic. I am thrilled... I think we need Life 1 aunties to come and give us their piece of mind here too.
That is the big problem , there are only two uncles here on GS , ARJAY and me, there are no aunties.
No woman on GS considers herself to be old enough to be auntie. Even those who are aunties themselves call other desi khawateen anties but do not dare to refer to women on GS as aunties. No ?
I don't think its a problem at all. Infact if someone says that they are offended when someone calls them uncle (or auntie) you can bet they will be called that again and again. I, personally, love teasing people who are so age-conscious. By the way, I use "unkil" all the time, and its not so much a deference to the age, but more a playful take on someone who is mentally smart and mature, regardless of age.
Mirch bhai, is it okay I call you bhai? Should I be calling you uncle like I call Khumar uncle? I am 20 if that matters.
I don't think its a problem at all. Infact if someone says that they are offended when someone calls them uncle (or auntie) you can bet they will be called that again and again. I, personally, love teasing people who are so age-conscious. By the way, I use "unkil" all the time, and its not so much a deference to the age, but more a playful take on someone who is mentally smart and mature, regardless of age.
Personaly I do not care who calls me what , even if some one calls me grandpa what difference it makes ?
It is the attitude of the people and the connotation of the words which I am talking about.
Well, now I am not sure what is the connotation etc here. You started off the thread as follows: "[The words 'uncle' or 'auntie'] are no more used to show respect . People use them to imply that the person who is being called an uncle or auntie is close minded , illitrate , goofy desi person of old age". Both examples you gave suggest people are using the word under the impression that the other person is older. Where is the fun stuff... where are the examples of "close minded , illitrate , goofy desi person". Thats what I am looking for :D
I don't think its a problem at all. Infact if someone says that they are offended when someone calls them uncle (or auntie) you can bet they will be called that again and again. I, personally, love teasing people who are so age-conscious. By the way, I use "unkil" all the time, and its not so much a deference to the age, but more a playful take on someone who is mentally smart and mature, regardless of age.
I am glad you clarified it. Here I was taking offense all this time thinking why is Faisal calling ME (someone 15+ younger than him) an "Unkil". From now on, I'll take it as a compliment.
Coming back to the topic, no one has called me an uncle yet, so I am not sure what it feels like. I do have a nephew (wife's sister's son) who would start calling me a Khaaloo soon (which sounds worse than being called an uncle). I opened a thread about it once in life 1 (I am sure Faisal bhai remembers it) where I was saying how I'll have my kids call my friends "Mr. Faisal" instead of Faisal Uncle. I am not too sure about it but I doubt if desis will like that idea. I normally call older people "bhai", unless they are my dad's age
It seems ok if the age difference is 20+ years, but again depends on ages, if you are in a group of 10-20 years and other person is in the range of 30-40, then it looks ok to call em uncle or auntie.
But if you are in age group of 40-50, then it doesn't look good to call a person whose age is 60+ years.
There has to be some formula for calling someone uncle and auntie!
let us see
20/40 = 50%
40/60= 33%
In above cases although the age differences are 20, but the percent age is different! if I have to call someone uncle then it would be at least those who are 35% (+) elder than me! Just my opinion!
I am glad you clarified it. Here I was taking offense all this time thinking why is Faisal calling ME (someone 15+ younger than him) an "Unkil". From now on, I'll take it as a compliment.
Coming back to the topic, no one has called me an uncle yet, so I am not sure what it feels like. I do have a nephew (wife's sister's son) who would start calling me a Khaaloo soon (which sounds worse than being called an uncle). I opened a thread about it once in life 1 (I am sure Faisal bhai remembers it) where I was saying how I'll have my kids call my friends "Mr. Faisal" instead of Faisal Uncle. I am not too sure about it but I doubt if desis will like that idea. I normally call older people "bhai", unless they are my dad's age
Mirch next time some call you uncle ask them "did you father or mom go to school with me?"
I never ever call a person uncle or aunty. I only do when they call me "beta" first.
I have seen my dudes calling women aunty who were like 1-6 year older than us.Specially when they are serving you in restaurant or running a business and cant set some one straight.
I prefer using word aap for older ppl.
Just as a by-note, I think its perfectly silly to insult someone or be rude, when the other is just trying to give you respect. Kindly keep your age complexes to yourself, and be gracious to others. :p
this is called a magic of words. and that is why i, u and many of us have strong Iman on the words of Quran-e-Pak
i used to call uncle to many guppies on GS to give them respect, because i often get very very very rude.
and using word like uncle automatically affects me, and not this word let me lowered the pitch of my words but also i m lill polite
but i find out that opposite gender gets really offended. instead of looking and analyzing the things i mentioned, they focus on the aspect that why i called them uncle.
lol...but i guess everyone wanted to be treated like a teenager so i also do the same (call them by their nick). (of course expect for arjay uncle since he calls me beti :)).....but still i try to give respect as much as i can.
I used to work on the store this kid kep calling me uncle.
One day this kid with his friends came and call me uncle. I said get over here. then I asked him "I really want to know how am I you uncle. I mean really.
Am I related to you ? Am I your father's age. He left and and never came back. Which was ok.
)