Okay, something stupid happened. And I’m kind of annoyed by it.
My twin cousins are like 18, they are turning 19 on Tuesday. So yesterday when we came back from the party, I went to these cousins’ home. They were dancing downstairs with a friend of theirs (whom I didn’t like, tbh) wearing their pajamas to Bollywood tunes. You know what happened? In the other room, there were GUYS who came an hour before.
Yes, GUYS.
Around like 6 or 7 of them, their brothers’ friends. The problem was that the door was like, completely see through so you can hear the dancing and singing and the loud music. Some of the brothers’ friends were older then my cousins which isn’t a good damn thing.
My mom told them sternly to come upstairs and dance in the living room instead since it was only me, my aunt and my mom. The cousins’ friend’s mom wasn’t there. I agreed to the idea;I knew my mom and me had our own differences but things were going out of hand downstairs and I didn’t like it either. I am fourteen but it’s like i know better than them! lol. She didn’t like the idea of guys and the girls being right next to each other. Apparently, their friend was trying to attract the men’s attention, being a gossip with them. A big NO NO with my aunt and my mom; her mother was at home and therefore knew nothing about her.
However, for no reason at all, the older girls chose not to come upstairs at all. Infuriated my mom/
Lmfao.
My mom was mad in the car. She would surely talk about it with another one of my aunt’s on the phone about this. The girls were stupid and out of their mind for not getting completely separate rooms where their dancing and singing won’t be heard. Their dancing…let’s say it’s like sex with clothes on.
Okay..dearest guppies.
Since I’ve discussed about this incident that happened last midnight, I have questions to ask you:
Would this behavior be acceptable to you?
How would you react to the girls dancing in a room where they can be seen with guys nearly their age? (i.e. purdah?)
What would you think of when you see a single girl (in this case, my cousins’ friend) trying to grab a group of men’s attention?
My answers: No it will never be acceptable to me. I swear if my mom saw me dancing in front of guys she would murder me in my sleep and bury me five feet below the ground bleeding. I have self-control; silliness is a behavior I wouldn’t mind, but dancing is something else. And if I see a girl trying to hog someone’s brother the way I never do, I would want to slap her in the face.
1) Would this behavior be acceptable to you?
2) How would you react to the girls dancing in a room where they can be seen with guys nearly their age? (i.e. purdah?)
3) What would you think of when you see a single girl (in this case, my cousins' friend) trying to grab a group of men's attention?
1) Not at all. Guys and girls will never be allowed to interact freely in my home. Yes, they can talk to each other in a civil manner and that's about it.
2) I would've done what your mom did but I would also let them know that I don't think it's appropriate to be dancing in front of non-mehram men. Sometimes explaining why helps.
Its funny how my cousins change around their annoying friends. because if they're around them, they would never speak a word towards me. luckily i adjusted to that because i dont give a crap about them either that much anymore
I was talking about this to my cousin, and thank god i wasn't the only one who noticed.
Well if they were allowed to talk normally to guys without much silly restrictions, then they wouldn't have to pull retarded stunts to get anyone's attention.
Well if they were allowed to talk normally to guys without much silly restrictions, then they wouldn't have to pull retarded stunts to get anyone's attention.
So placing them in a separate room is a silly restriction? That doesn't make any sense. :s
Why cant they all be in the same room and just talk to each other? Keeping lewd conversations out of the picture of course, but then sex should not be coming up in group conversations anyway. There can be parents there of course. Why the need for guys to be in a separate room? Tell me you're allowed to talk to guys.
I do find it funny the way these girls wouldn’t be allowed to dance infront of boys in this situation but it would be perfectly fine for them to dance infront of MANY more boys AND men (even strangers) on occassions like weddings… and it would even be cool to get them videotaped and distribute these vids to tonnes of relatives that you don’t even know exist. Nice.
orrrr are we talking about dirty dancing in this situation and tameezdaar dancing on weddings n stuff?
come onnn they couldn’t have been “dirty dancing”, they were just having some fun, right?
Dancing to songs with sexual references, then yeah.
Who said they were allowed to that? I never said anything about them dancing in front of strangers and men, though I do somehow imagine them doing that.
Our families are quite different. My family is much more strict when it comes to that stuff, and their father is quite strict too.
Why cant they all be in the same room and just talk to each other? Keeping lewd conversations out of the picture of course, but then sex should not be coming up in group conversations anyway. There can be parents there of course. Why the need for guys to be in a separate room? Tell me you're allowed to talk to guys.
Then simple convos. between the girls and guys honestly wouldn't have been minded by me. I talk to my cousins who are older then me about stuff that we're interested in and our education and all, and just joke around.
This is a topic about the dancing of those girls and guys who are na-mehram are definitely not allowed to even see that especially seeing the girls in their age.
How did things turn out with your dad and the whole Internet search history matter? Have you managed to convince your dad or did the whole thing just blow over?
Then simple convos. between the girls and guys honestly wouldn't have been minded by me. I talk to my cousins who are older then me about stuff that we're interested in and our education and all, and just joke around.
This is a topic about the dancing of those girls and guys who are na-mehram are definitely not allowed to even see that especially seeing the girls in their age.
I don't think you're understanding my point. Why were they two genders in different rooms in the first place? If you guys keep genders in different rooms when there are a lot of people over, then of course girls are going to get uber comfortable with other girls. And of course they're going to take every chance they can get to get a boy to peek at them.
It's not behayaa if girls are doing booty dancing in front of other girls. Tasteless, yes. But not exactly haraam.
My suggestion: Ask your mom to allow the genders to mingle, quit playing trashy music at her parties, and send any girls home who despite the freedom still have desperate urges for booty dancing.
I don't think you're understanding my point. Why were they two genders in different rooms in the first place? If you guys keep genders in different rooms when there are a lot of people over, then of course girls are going to get uber comfortable with other girls. And of course they're going to take every chance they can get to get a boy to peek at them.
It's not behayaa if girls are doing booty dancing in front of other girls. Tasteless, yes. But not exactly haraam.
My suggestion: Ask your mom to allow the genders to mingle, quit playing trashy music at her parties, and send any girls home who despite the freedom still have desperate urges for booty dancing.
Ahh now i get it. Well, it happened yesterday so there's really not much we can do about it now, except to prevent it from happening again. They are not very religious, and their mother has asked them to but nobody listened..
Well bakc home i would have simply raised my eyebrows and that would have been equivalent to shouting "Stop this nonsene and dont move if you value your life"
I can shoot the buttons of a mans coat from a three hundred yards in a sandstorm... And i am the sort of fellow who can look another guy in the face and immediatley know which boned could be broken in however many ways... :ASA:
However in this sort of matter if it was in a western country i would keep my deceny and show my dislike by openly telling the host that i found it un-acceptable and i was leaving...
Offcourse once outside i would righly pummel anyone who barred my way.
No way would i find such behavoir acceptable i am the sort of person who if it was my siblings i would have calmly shot them all or throttled them and then handed myself over to the police...
