So this is the first drama I am seeing in ages...the last two were Meri Zaat Zara, which made me want to trample all over the overly-victimized lead actress (although technically I should say the lazy writer) and Humsafar which I stopped watching midway once that bogus twist appeared....not that the nauseating romance prior to that was any interesting.
This play has kept me interested so far and some of the good things about it are:
As others have mentioned, characters are nicely fleshed out with a realistic balance of rationality and irrationality (lead actor being an exception with his one-dimensional role). Unlike other dramas where you'd have an exasperatingly (for the viewers) self-sacrificing goody two shoes pitted against an inexplicably evil character who is beyond any redemption (until the end of the play or when they are finally killed) and whose sole raison de'tre is to provide juxtaposition to our beloved goody goody's goodness.
The lights, camera work, picturization are all relatively above par. I don't know if this has become a standard for most Pakistani dramas, then my excitement is akin to a native's who has seen a functional escalator in his Timbuktu for the first time, but it has certainly made the play a whole lot more watchable. Any play that doesn't feature a scene where one character is facing the camera wincing through the wooden delivery of their dialogues and another facing their back with exaggerated expressions is good enough for me to shut up and watch rather than start my annoying little commentary on all things that are wrong with Pakistan (yes, that escalated fast!) much to the chagrin of my dear parents.
Still the play is far from perfect:
The way he falls and goes for the girl is highly contrived. No rich guy, with some "social standing", would pursue a poor girl so intently especially if she isn't some knockout beauty. Realistically, he would have mused over their encounter for a day or two and then moved on to other distractions.
The fact that he is still trying to reconcile is far fetched (no it doesn't make him "loving" *and *"caring"). A guy like him, i.e., the one with "options" and "resources" and a bruised ego to nurse, would have remarried in a jiffy possibly just to spite her. (Imma getting carried away with all the punctuations cuz I've no clue how to use them :D)
The neat little explanation for his violent tendencies...ah! if only the real world had clear and simple explanations for all sorts of deviant behaviours.
Those are the only ones I can think for now. These negative points could've been summed up by a rant on writer cutting corners when it comes to the guy's character. Or maybe this time the writer has attempted to do the opposite of goody vs baddie, by showing an unbelievably strong girl, with enough self respect and integrity to give up luxury for a lifetime of taunts, against a....um... a dud of a dude.
What I am really surprised at though is the reaction some people have towards the girl. So every girl, if she wants to retain the "married" title, ought to be a pliable little weakling. Any reasoning towards verbal taunts or physical abuse is deemed *'budtameezi" *and the resulting thunderous thappar (while half-heartedly disapproved) should come as no surprise. So all you single ladies out there, better learn to bend wayyy over backwards and do so without a whimper or else ensuing abuse would be as much your fault as your abuser's, or perhaps more of your fault for "instigating" it. In other words, the headstrong, opinionated among us can kiss the matrimonial bliss good bye because the onus is solely on us to sacrifice and compromise! After all the fact that someone has "accepted" you into their nikkah should be reason enough for you to be forever indebted to their generosity.
Having said all of that, I'd still say that she should have given him another chance given that this time both set of parents got involved and his father had assured her that such episodes would not be repeated. Although I could write more on the verbal spat between her and her MIL on the interpretation of "na-farman biwi" but I'd spare you all who have made this far in my post.
I kind of agree. When men swear or yell at their wives…they are never called badtameez or bad-lehaaz or what have you…we simply say “its a man’s nature” or “yeah…he has a temper”. Islam asks us to hold our anger, yeah…but this is asked of man and woman both. Why are we so quick to label Kiran as badtameez? But the abuse is like…“yeah its bad…dont do it. But Kiran ohmyGod…she’s totally perpetuating the situation with her badtameezi!” Everyone gets angry…women/wives included.
Idk. Good drama tho…cos even after writing that…i can still see both sides. I’m glad they didn’t make a good vs. Bad type play.
Anyways, I'm still at the beginning of the drama and so far I have noticed that Sikander doesn't like to be questioned on his decisions. For example him yelling at Kiran for going to her mother's house without telling him. When Kiran politely asked as to why she needs permission to go to her mother's house, his reaction was be quiet, say sorry and move on as if she's a little girl who's being punished and should say sorry without asking questions. I don't see Kiran as batameez so far, but let's see. Btw, I can't stand men who want to trap their wives at home. Yes, you give her expensive gifts, but you are slowly taking away her freedom. I think there is a comparison to Kiran and the parrots. Ok this is just my view on it since I'm only at episode 11.
Edit: ladies I fail to see how Kiran is batameez SO far. The slap at the end of episode 11 is uncalled for from Sikander's side. Almost every husband and wife argue and sometimes they can turn into heated arguments from frustration, but that does not mean the guy can start becoming physical. My husband and I have had fights in the beginning of our marriage for xyz reasons, but that did not give him an excuse to raise his hand. I still don't see Kiran as the batameez one. What I see is a controlling man in the making. Of course she would get upset if he blabbers something retarded about her parents, much like how got upset when she gave him an example of what he just did. Obviously it takes time to understand what each spouse likes and dislikes, which can prevent fights in the future, but this is just the beginning of their marriage.
Bah I'm already biased against Fahad mustafa :p
Anyways, I'm still at the beginning of the drama and so far I have noticed that Sikander doesn't like to be questioned on his decisions. For example him yelling at Kiran for going to her mother's house without telling him. When Kiran politely asked as to why she needs permission to go to her mother's house, his reaction was be quiet, say sorry and move on as if she's a little girl who's being punished and should say sorry without asking questions. I don't see Kiran as batameez so far, but let's see. Btw, I can't stand men who want to trap their wives at home. Yes, you give her expensive gifts, but you are slowly taking away her freedom. I think there is a comparison to Kiran and the parrots. Ok this is just my view on it since I'm only at episode 11.
Edit: ladies I fail to see how Kiran is batameez SO far. The slap at the end of episode 11 is uncalled for from Sikander's side. Almost every husband and wife argue and sometimes they can turn into heated arguments from frustration, but that does not mean the guy can start becoming physical. My husband and I have had fights in the beginning of our marriage for xyz reasons, but that did not give him an excuse to raise his hand. I still don't see Kiran as the batameez one. What I see is a controlling man in the making. Of course she would get upset if he blabbers something retarded about her parents, much like how got upset when she gave him an example of what he just did. Obviously it takes time to understand what each spouse likes and dislikes, which can prevent fights in the future, but this is just the beginning of their marriage.
Bah I'm already biased against Fahad mustafa :p
I love what Sikander's friend said in this episode. That you can be stern with your wife, but physical abuse is unacceptable and a line that cannot be crossed - he seems to be only one who understands the boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
Edit: ladies I fail to see how Kiran is batameez SO far. The slap at the end of episode 11 is uncalled for from Sikander's side. Almost every husband and wife argue and sometimes they can turn into heated arguments from frustration, but that does not mean the guy can start becoming physical. My husband and I have had fights in the beginning of our marriage for xyz reasons, but that did not give him an excuse to raise his hand. I still don't see Kiran as the batameez one. What I see is a controlling man in the making. Of course she would get upset if he blabbers something retarded about her parents, much like how got upset when she gave him an example of what he just did. Obviously it takes time to understand what each spouse likes and dislikes, which can prevent fights in the future, but this is just the beginning of their marriage.
Bah I'm already biased against Fahad mustafa :p
Ok I don't know or recall what happened in what episode, but Kiran is badtameez on quite a few levels. Like throwing the wedding ring at her husband cos he gave a perfectly reasonable explanation that he is super tired and cannot go to sister's dinner that day. And multiple other times where you think she should just shut up instead of rant on. It's not called bending over backwards, you don't need to be a doormat to be a good wife.
I'm talking now beyond your comments, moreso everyone else's who fails to see Kiran's behavior as bad or incorrect. Just because he isn't playing "good husband", doesn't mean that we overlook that she isn't playing "good wife". Fault lies in both of them. That said, SOMEONE needs to compromise and in reality, usually, given the more nurturing nature of a woman, she does so and in doing so, makes a home and wins respect in the long run. There are issues in all marriages at the beginning. All married folks will attest to this. But let's all call a spade a spade. She does misbehave with him, and he does cross lines.
Ok I don't know or recall what happened in what episode, but Kiran is badtameez on quite a few levels. Like throwing the wedding ring at her husband cos he gave a perfectly reasonable explanation that he is super tired and cannot go to sister's dinner that day. And multiple other times where you think she should just shut up instead of rant on. It's not called bending over backwards, you don't need to be a doormat to be a good wife.
I'm talking now beyond your comments, moreso everyone else's who fails to see Kiran's behavior as bad or incorrect. Just because he isn't playing "good husband", doesn't mean that we overlook that she isn't playing "good wife". Fault lies in both of them. That said, SOMEONE needs to compromise and in reality, usually, given the more nurturing nature of a woman, she does so and in doing so, makes a home and wins respect in the long run. There are issues in all marriages at the beginning. All married folks will attest to this. But let's all call a spade a spade. She does misbehave with him, and he does cross lines.
I am nnot at that point in the drama. I said so far from the episode I am up to I do not see Kiran as batameez and that's when the first incident of being physical began.
Yes we end up compromising, but have any of us been hit by our husbands? Sure everyone gets into an argument, but so far they are making it seem like if you don't shut up and take the abuse then you are batameez. Maybe she does get batameez later. Anyways I am going to watch a few more episodes and comment since I'm only on episode 12.
So still not up to the latest episode, but wanted to add something.
I see Kiran was stupid enough to throw her earring on the floor infront of him and should have blown off steam by herself without him around. I am going to say those were her pregnancy hormones. I have been pretty pissed off in my pregnancy as well over stupid little things, but it's better to let it out without the husband around or else it's going to turn ugly. Anyways, I couldn't watch the scene with him throwing her on the floor, her in agony and him going away to sit down at the dinner table like an idiot. Errrmm common sense says if you you do that then you have put the unborn baby at risk duh! It was hard for me to watch the miscarriage scene :(.
I agree when the mother says that marriage takes many compromises like demesne said, but maybe everyone has their limits.
I guess we all don't know what we would do in her situation, but I think the line is drawn at that last incident even if someone wants to work it out. It's hard to forgive when you lose a baby. Maybe I'm biased.
Rukhsaar is just naastaay. For all the years she has waited to get married, it will be a miracle if she lasts even a month in her susraal with her bitter attitude and incessant complaining.
My comment for this week is directed towards the production quality, I am very surprised at the utter lack of attention to detail. For example Arzoo, with all her wealth, doesn't have a single "Dhung ka jora"and that too immediately following her wedding. She was wearing cheapo Rs 400 type shawls throughout the episode, the kind you get at "sunutee numaish" in fortress stadium or in the back alley's of liberty. Her shalwar kameez were not only NOT designer, they weren't even a designer rip-off. Even liberty has more stylish outfits than what she was wearing. Even jewelry, accessorizes, and makeup were less than ordinary. On the flipside, when Kiran first got married, she always wore very nicely tailored and good quality outfits even though her saas probably put a lot less thought in her outfits. This is such basic stuff. now compare this to humsafar, which had a far weaker script but did a great job in set/costume design( remember khirad's stylish outfits post-wedding?)
Another weird thing is the obsession with eating ice cream... in a car. People like arzoo/sikander would be having chocolate lava cake at tiramisu/cafe aylanto or an actual dessert place instead of eating ice cream and that too out of a car like they are broke ass teens. Arzoo's language is also a little "off". She used the word "Azaad Khayal" to describe her cousin.
These little things have been sticking out like a sore thumb throughout this drama. There are countless other examples from previous episodes. With all the money that goes into producing these plays, I wish they'd allocate a budget towards set/wardrobe design and a proof reader!
my cousin got married around 2 months back, us ka husband b ditto sikander jaisa he hai… ab sunnay mein aya hai… k janaab kapray badaltay haen aur ghar say bahir nikal jatay haen. begum nay poocha kahan ja rahay haen, agay say jawaab mila “kaam say ja raha houn ata houn” wo mujhay kehti hai jub mein kaheen ja rahi houn to ye bunda puri investigation kerta hai k kahan kyun, kub tak and blah blah… aur jub meinay usko kaha mein to kabhi kuch nahi ap say poochti jub b ap ja rahay hotay ho, to banda agay say kehta hai “meinay tumhaen itni ijazat nahi day rakhi k tum mujh say sawaal kero”
so bht typical behavior hai sikander ka, nothing new
I know this drama aims to tackle the theme of domestic abuse, but I wouldn’t mind if Rukhsar got a beating. I’m afraid I met let out a chortle. :hinna: I guess I need more therapy than Sikander and his abba.
What’s ironic is that although the theme of Kamkar is domestic abuse of women at the hands of men…there are still more messed up women in this drama than they are men. Let’s count them shall we? There’s Arzoo’s mom…fasaad ki jarh. There’s Sikander’s mom…a weak-minded, easily misled, troublemaking woman, there’s Arzoo who swings back and forth between sympathy and scorn for Kiran, there’s Rukhsar who is more contemptible than Arzoo’s mom because at least the latter makes an effort while Rukhsar only complains and seethes. There’s Rukhsar’s mommy…who is nice but is an “enabler” of backward beliefs because she is weak minded and easily influenced. And Kiran could have been more adamant in refusing Sikander’s rishta in the first place is she disliked Sikander so much and valued Arzoo’s friendship above him. Okay folks, so that is a total of 6 messed up women…cementing the classic saying that bhalay a man might abuse his wife, Aurat ki sab se bari dushman aurat ho hoti hai.
