I had this friend who was a girl (R).(not girl friend)(NO S word)
I use to hang out with her almost 24/7. Pll even thought we were secretly married. Her stupid aunt try to convince me to refer her(R) as sister.
I told them NO only relation by birth are real , other then that relations are not “mutebaar”(respected).
Well that’s not ugly yet.
Next part like any girl she started liking me , or may be she did like me to begin with.
But she wasn’t good enough for me(I thought back then) Now unwilling to own(APNANA) her I still wanted her around. So I used to “repeal” all the guys around her.
Thats how I used to do that.
When ever she got attracted to some one OR some one got attracted to her I would make them leave. Being a guy I knew what to do with out girl(R) noticing it. I mean being around her when she is trying to call some guy. Showing those guys how close/comfortable me and her were.
Driving her car all day. Have my stuff in her car cd, skates running shoes. etc .
Idea was to let the guys feel my presence around her. She being silly(girls are silly)
never stop her self to mention me as “friend” to other guys.
So no guy could stick around!! Mission acomplished!!!
Not that I did not suffer because of that un-natural alliance. I was In love with this other girl A. A and her family saw me driving R’s car, hanging out with her half a million times.
Girl(A) still put up with this and invite me to see her mom. Off course mom was not in love with me and I got my butt kicked.
Now first girl (R) went back to her child hood love a guy she had left long time ago.
And married her. Thanks to ME she could not find a decent person.
Because I made her my property with out making any commitment.
Now with 2 kids she is miserable with her hubby 80% of the time, Should I admit what I did? and apologize to her??
Cuz I think my self as a “good” person so I did NOT make physical relation with the girl during that time . I thought by avouiding Physical contact I was fulfilling my duty.
But now when I see her miserable I know what impact that unholy alliance had on her life. sigh
Its just sad
Playstation: should I go write it in a blog?lol
PlayStation2: did not sleep enough and nothing better to do.(so parden me if its incedibly stupid thread)
playstation 3: I did respect her physically and on day to day basis, but if I look back now, I did not respect her life.
btw, you were a bad boy :( now you realise it but i dont know how that would help her if she gets to know it. Maybe her nt knowing all that is better, dont add to her miseries.. if u cant do anything about her problems.
Do fess up and ask for forgiveness from her and Allah Mian.Did you know then what you know NOW? If not then you did all those in ignorance....and it was her responsibility too to not give you all the control the way she did...Maybe it was the way she was brought up and to feel whole she went from one emotionaly abusive relationship to another. May Allah Mian alleviate her sitution.
Do try to help her out...like in a way that she can make things better for herself and her kids(and Im not saying YOU fix things for her)...its her life and she has to make the choice of HOW to make things better. How are things bad with her situation?
PM - I don't think u should tell her anything, its going to stir up emotions for her and its a dangerous thing to be doing to someone in an apparently 80% unhappy marriage. U don't really know the state of her marriage do u? How can u, unless u r a fly on the wall. If she has said something to u, did she say it when she was upset at the time?
Whats the point now anyway? What benefit will it b to her?
There has to be OTHER reasons for her being miserable in her marriage besides **YOU **temporarily claiming her as your property. Many factors play a role in why a marriage is unsuccessful. Hopefully when she got married.....she let go of all thoughts about you...and therefore the marriage issues are about her and her husband and not you.
I agree with** RupayHalwa*, don't bring it up. Hopefully you've learned your lesson. A girl's reputation in desi society is more fragile than a guy's. I know girls who were known to have a crush on some guy......and that itself hindered rishta chances. I don't understand why you would want to lay claim over her if you were not romantically interested in her? I mean why keep her away from the guys.......and the guys away from her.......if you had no desire for a romantic commitment toward her? Was it just for an **ego boost*? Cuz i know girls who feel hurt at the idea that they're being led on by a guy just so he can boost his ego that some girl is crushing on him. So was it an ego boost........or do you think on some subconscious level .......u might have had a romantic interest in her....even a slight one?
Whatever your motives were, what's done is done. Ask Allah for forgiveness.....and make dua for this girl and her marriage and happiness. I've read that if you have have wronged a fellow Muslim....and feel that confessing your errors and apologizing to them might make things WORSE.......then the other option for compensating for your mistake is to make dua for the person.
So for YOUR comfort, you want to apologize and bring back all the bad memories-- just so you can feel a satisfaction and less guilt? A tad selfish, maybe?
Don't go near the girl. You are probably history by now anyways for her, and there's no need to bring back old stuff .
sounds like you been watching too much bollywood filums ..lol
..ur so right about .. that this thread is girly .. kuriyon ko koi baat mill jaaey so they can stretch it and stretch it .. aur thas what your doing .. so basically .. it serves her right ... that she didnt show you who she was to u and u to her .. ur fault too k you try to be hero but you lost out at the end .. and going back to her .. only works in films .. so look to the future and not the past ..
sounds like you been watching too much bollywood filums ..lol
:D
naheen dude what I did back then was bollywood(un-realistic) stuff. Spending time with opposite sex thinkng its not going to cause and consequences.
wat rubbish.i didn't understand a thing.get over it man.she got wat was in her fate n u got urs.
i was expecting more pounding from guys but its not too bad.
every one else pretty much assumed I want to "go back" to her.
My answer is no!!
CG,sara,RW,MKD,aks,maham
We did not lost contact. She mostly called when she had issues and she wanted to share it with some one.
In fact that's how we started we both were away from our families and both wanted some support.
I only call her when I have girl issues. Usually I use GS but some time I call her to get girls perspective.
She calls me some time once in a six months or so, some time more frequently,if she is having some problems.
NOT that ME or her want some thing from each other!!!!
Thats how it was, she not having bond with her mother and Me having no one to talk to.
Reason I shared it because IT looks so strange NOW, that we were not able to see obvious back then.
Dude that was a mighty lengthy post, couldnt read the whole thing but got the idea. I believe its best to leave her alone at this stage. We all do stupid stuff when we are kids, but when we grow up - we should grow up.
yeah leave her alone
she probaby already has the feeling of wht you did....thats why she got married
u telling her about it will probably make it worse.and add to her miseries..
ha ha how r things wit girl A now ??
