I went to the docs yesterday, and she told me after examinations, that i seem to be suffering from stress, weakness and my blood pressure was very high. she asked me funnily enough are you having trouble with inllaws..funny how a pakistani doctor would assume that, while a western one wouldnt.
anyway, today mil giving me grief again. shes expecting someone to come from england for her daughters wedding, because she thinks they were a part of everyones weddings, so should we be…i kept my mouth shut, although they were only part of weddings that took place in pak, i doubt they would come to london for a wedding…and she expects whoever is coming to bring my daughter too, because ek hi phupo hai, blah blah…
stressing me more. my daughter remains with me. the thing is, what i say, will happen. no one takes her away, i cant beleive mil is saying this, being a mother herself, she should understand my feelings right, luckily husband has now changed his mind and promises nothing like this will happen. but i am assuming his mum will brainwash him the entire time im there and she is going to use it against me if my daughter doesnt turn up to the wedding…
just her s**** is giving me stress. she says oh tumhare paas dusra bacha hoga…
i wanted to to say to her would u guys have come to london for any of our weddings…but i didnt…again i thought itd be rude.
i did say i cant be without my daughter, she said well so cant we…ok like they replace a mother?
YGGKJJGHSDKFJNVDFKJNBFD guys help me out. once more. thanks.
You need a break from her which you will be getting soon. Do not worry about what happens in your absence here. You have no control over that. Heck you have no control over it while you are here.
relax.......the more significance you give this the more it will bother you.
you will be leaving shortly and not have to deal with any of this for a while.
if your husband has agreed to your terms and conditions then let him handle it when you are gone.
Get over the whole issue of 'having' to give birth in the UK and you won't have half as many of these issues. No matter how much you try and argue otherwise, it's clear that your main - if not only- motivation for putting yourself through the emotional rollercoaster of giving birth in another country to where your husband is and being apart for the first few months of the newborns life is purely monetary and because you want your child's birth certificate to state that it was born in England.
And why shouldn't your MIL want her grand daughter to be present at her daughters wedding? The issue of her trying to 'brainwash' your husband into forcing a separation between you and your daughter aside, if your MIL wasn't asking for your daughter to be at the wedding you'd be here posting a thread about how your MIL doesn't care about her own granddaughter and how she hasn't even offered to let her attend her only aunts wedding without you.
Get over the whole issue of 'having' to give birth in the UK and you won't have half as many of these issues. No matter how much you try and argue otherwise, it's clear that your main - if not only- motivation for putting yourself through the emotional rollercoaster of giving birth in another country to where your husband is and being apart for the first few months of the newborns life is purely monetary and because you want your child's birth certificate to state that it was born in England.
And why shouldn't your MIL want her grand daughter to be present at her daughters wedding? The issue of her trying to 'brainwash' your husband into forcing a separation between you and your daughter aside, if your MIL wasn't asking for your daughter to be at the wedding you'd be here posting a thread about how your MIL doesn't care about her own granddaughter and how she hasn't even offered to let her attend her only aunts wedding without you.
All girls listen to Brit Chick for advise on how to be oppressed.
nadz you keep L&R alive but have to agree with BritC... You're never going to be happy either way if your daughter goes or stays so just do what you want.. start taking responsibility and try to look for the positives
I like you MIL, I think she is a sweet and caring woman but maybe you can't appreciate that
Everyone has their own way of dealing with bad situations. Nobody should be forced to a live a life they don’t want to live. Nadz is a good example of what happens when people are forced to fulfill somebody else’s responsibilities at their expense. She comes here to vent, I get that. She would have blown up in pieces by now had she shown the same feelings to her inlaws. What’s happening to her is not fair. She could do without your tuanting..
Nadz, your MIL is a very evil woman.
Nadz, your husband is a kaan ka kacha mard who doesn't have a backbone.
Did you enjoy hearing that? No, right. Because you know deep down that they aren't really evil people. They have expectations from you just like you have from them. Marriage is a 2-way street. You give a little, you get a little. Maybe you don't like them a whole lot, but almost always, the feelings are mutual. So what I'd recommend is: "the main thing is trying to keep the main thing the main thing."
Take a note pad and list the top 10 complaints you have. Next, figure out mature solutions for all points. Then distinguish between what's important and what's urgent. Work on what's urgent and put the important stuff on the back burner until you've taken care of the urgent stuff. Slowly all things will fall in place. But before anything, clear your attitude.
