UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

batao : roka bhi tha na pyar k darya bahanay say
kaha : kia fayda itni bari daulat chupanay say

batao : tumhara zakhm ab tak q mujhay wesa he lagta hai
kaha : kisi nay vaar kar dala maseehayi bahanay say

batao : rat jagon say dosti ab kaisi lagti hai
kaha : meri tanhaayi ghat’ti hai, in k anay say

batao : konsay lamhay ko ab tak yaad kartay ho
kaha : woh waqt thum jana, wo lagna meray shanay say

batao : aj tak mujhko kio tum nay yaad rakha hai
kaha : bhala yadain kub mit’ti hain kisi k dour janay say

batao : ab juda hokar bhala kaisay jeogay tum
kaha : marna to hai ek din, so issi bahanay say

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Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

batao : aj tak mujhko kio tum nay yaad rakha hai
kaha : bhala yadain kub mit'ti hain kisi k dour janay say

awesome!!!.......
the whole feeling of poem is so touchy
good work

2 Likes

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

hummm

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Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

Zabardast. I love your peotry!

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN…

ohh God.. it touched my soul.. made me shiver.. :k:

Beautiful.. Kaash main bhi mukalmati nazm likh sakoon :blush:

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Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

^ Fakhra batool hay na, kant chant kar ke paste kar dain, khwahish bhi pori ho jay gi bacha log tali bhi bajain ge.

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

^ aap Azad hain.. magar U cannot be that independent ke meri poetry pe iss tarha ke comments paas karain..

mind ur word selection.. :s

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

A Wonderful Piece of poetry janab!!!!
bohat he umdaa sharing:)

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Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

chalain aap ko words pasand nahi aay to aap ki pasand

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

thx bheegi

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

sharminda na karain fara
thx

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN…

buhat buhat shukrya red

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

hmmmm
tanqeed karna dunya ka sub say asaan kaam hai
aur shayad ap iss me maahir hain
dosron ko mashwara denay say behtar hota hai k khud koshish ki jayay

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

thx sonia

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

jee baja farmaya aap ne, or tanqeed bardasht karna sub se muskil, mouft ke mashwaray ka shukriya aghar kabhi zindagi main lekhna howa to aap se mashwara zaroor karain ge.

adab.

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

ji han
tanqeeb barayay islah bardasht ki ja sakti hai
magar tanqeed barayay tanqeed nahi

adaab*2

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

yeh faisla kon karta hay kis ki tanqeed islah ki hay or konsi baray tanqeed hay?

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

waisay Live n let live walay asool par amal ki jiay ga janab..............kisee ki khushee bardasht karna bhi mushkil kaam hai.....jalnay ki zaroorat nahi app ko.....app bhi likh saktay hain sab ki tarhan ..try kar k dekhiay ga:)

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN…

larai larai maaf karo iss thread ko saaf karo :chai:

Re: UDAAS SHAAM KI BATAIN.......

likhnay walay ko pata hota hai ya pata chal jata hai