Option 1 with the points are my mother’s viewpoints, 2 is mine…
When I told her, her own nieces were born here and grew up to be exceptionally good ladies, she told me it was the upbringing…My argument is, can there be no other with similar upbringings here?
I know there are some very insightful and able and Muslimahs here in the west…But where?
The circle of Desis where I live is so miniscule, hardly anything leaves the local grapewine…One option is going to the biggest Masjid in the area and getting the word out with the Imam…But I have kept that as a last resort, sounds sort of desperate, you know…
And Naseeb is out of the question…Just looking at the ages of the kids there depresses me…
Anyways, I tried but have no pros to back up my argument and have consecutively lost every argument with my mother…
it's definately cheaper to get married in Pakistan. Functions, food entertainment costs less. Also, on a more cynical note, girls tend to want less mahr there too....
Lajjo, the "good" girl point is moot ... these days the chances of getting a "good" girl are, I think, pretty much the same here and there. Moral values aren't quite the same as in our parents' days....
Aside from cost, the sole advantage I see to marrying Back Home is to strengthen your ties to Back Home through marrying into a family that is principally there.
How so? My whole immediate family lived outside Pakistan, but we managed my brother’s wedding at a fraction of the cost of doing it in London by doing it in Karachi.
This is really stupid. How can you decide whether youre gonna marry a girl from Pakistan or Amreeka based on the cost of the wedding? Kanjoos Pakistani mard.
And maddy, maybe you have a small family? Not to mention flying back from England is half the price you pay from states, especially from a small town in the US.
Cat-Baji, this is a significant difference between how the two sexes view marriage. For guys (generally from middle/lower income families) who have to save & pay for their weddings themselves, it is part of the big equation. And yeah, I know some girls save and pay for their weddings themselves but they are out of the main stream in my social circle.
Get involved in MSA events. I know this sounds utterly horrible, and I hope the poor chap doesn’t come across this website and read this…but we had this one guy that moved from another state into where I am. He contacted me one day, because I used to organize some volunteer trips to various community centers and I’d drag every muslim I could find. He was real nice, but it was pretty obvious he was wife hunting. I had to give him massive danday to not even bother showing up if he was looking for booty. The poor guy kept himself hidden and would basically send me whatever money and materials I needed for my projects. I felt bad, and told him that its ok if he wishes to come out one day…
so he arrived at one event. poor guy kept his eyes lowered.
but then I found his “advertisement” on naseeb one day
first of all both the options are stupid.. marry anyone that you like.. if she is in Pakistan then figure out how it will work out maybe you need to save more .. if she is from here then same thing.. make plans accordingly.. but don't select a person with whom you are going to spend rest of your life based on how much she will cost! for Allah's sake this is one thing you should consider money as less valuable.. !!!!
And yes it will always cost less to get married where you don't have to fly to! i am with ahmadjee on this one :)
in my opinion it is cheaper and more organised and cleaner and you dont have to worry about long lost relatives that dont mean anything to you coming and causing a fuss and less of a headache to have the wedding in the west,
secondly, in option one...girl is brought up in a similar culture to you therefore you may have more in common...
He hasnt even found a girl yet and hes already planning the wedding, for gidness sake man, let your relatives know, let all your family friends know that you’re looking and keep your options open.
Its cheaper to have the wedding where you live rather than flying out to Pakistan. The cost of tickets for all your immediate family members will certainly add up. And when in Pakistan theres even more temptation and pressure (from annoying, interferring and competitive relatives) to buy more gifts, like 50 heavy embroidered suits for the girl and all those silly gold sets which cost an arm and a leg which she never ends up wearing. The cost can end up being horrendus.
At least in the west you don't have that cultural influence or pressure and can concentrate on what the two of YOU want and not others.
Lajawab, first thing that came to mind was 'he's trying to pick up girls at GS by khulley-aam posting about how he might be looking for a girl' :p.
Now if that is the case, then perhaps you should be more direct, post your a/s/l and a few pics and I'm sure you'll have your inbox loaded with PMs.
One of the reasons why I find it attractive to get married in Pakistan is good food and ronak. Most of the weddings I've attended here have been dull with not-so-good-tasting-food.
Or you know you can find a bride here and get married in Pakistan if you're really concerned about the cost.
My options are open…I have no problems marrying here or there, the only thing is hassle…
What if the girl I find in Pakistan doesn’t have like a green card or visa, then it’s about a year’s worth of separation…
Then there’s the hassle of going…
Sadiyah: I am seriously (but not desperately) looking for a rishta…GS is a good place as any and I am sure there are a few Sistas on the board worth approaching but I have no clue who they are…Also there’s a sort of stigma attached to it, so the GS option goes somewhere in the Talking To The Imam of a Masjid category…
But I still believe it’s more expensive here…Do you guys have any idea how much catering alone costs?
Cat: The word is out…All I need to do is set foot in Pakistan…
Kanjoos Pakistani mard.
