Re: Tum vs Aap
No thanks. 
It’s a rude word. 
Re: Tum vs Aap
I cannot say “Tum” to certain sets of elders… 
Re: Tum vs Aap
^ I will not have it. !! 
Re: Tum vs Aap
lol that’s not what I said either. I said if someone by mistake does say “tum” instead of “aap” especially someone who’s used to go back and forth between “tum” and “aap” - I don’t understand why people get offended.
Re: Tum vs Aap
The dilemma I face is that I have the ability to make the word 'aap' such an awkward utterance if talking to male members of my age group or slightly older. For example, if the other person is referring to me as 'aap' *and I'm referring to him as *'aap' in a reluctant conversation, chances are that he'll get full points for being such a charming gentleman whereas I'd be the one sounding more like a few days old newly wedded wife from an arranged marriage. Luckily, I can rely on my pride in such situations which quickly steps in and enables me to change switch the language of the conversation from Urdu to English. It's a shame because I'd like to think that I am good enough speaker of Urdu language by certain standards. I enjoy listening to and talking in Urdu and picking up new words and phrases, but unfortunately I can be quite a shy speaker of Urdu if conversing with people I don't know very well.
So all the great readers and speakers of Urdu language, any advice on what could be the third of of addressing someone (apart from addressing them by their name) if tum or aap isn't the option. Any stylistic device? Any linguistic trick or trip to break the ice?
Re: Tum vs Aap
in our culture, it's a funny thing. men call their wives 'TUM' while invariably women call 'their husbands 'AAP'. :)
Re: Tum vs Aap
The dilemma I face is that I have ability to make the word 'aap' such an awkward utterance if talking to male members of my age group or slightly older. If the other person is referring to me as 'aap' *andI'm referring to him as *'aap' in a reluctant conversation, chances arethathe'll get full points for being such a charming gentleman whereas I'd be the sounding more like few days old newly wedded wife of an arranged marriage. Luckily, I can rely on my pride in such situations which quickly steps in and enables me to change switch the language of the conversation from Urdu to English. It's a shame because I am good enough speaker of Urdu language by certain standards, I enjoy listening to and talking in Urdu and picking up new words and phrases, but unfortunately *I can be quite a shy speaker of Urdu if conversing with people I don't know very well. *
So all the great readers and speakers of Urdu language, any advice on what could be the third of of addressing someone (apart from addressing them by their name) if tum or aap isn't the option. Any stylistic device? Any linguistic trick or trip to break the ice?
I feel the same way which is a shame because sometimes people look oddly at you if they are speaking to you in urdu and you suddenly switch to another language.. or that's just me it happens to lol.
Re: Tum vs Aap
So the Bengali tui is like* tu* but is used by kids in a way which isn't necessarily derogatory..
I think Bengalis are probably less formal than Pakistanis.. I rarely come across aap on that side of my family.. Some of us also address our young aunts and uncles by their first names, something considered pretty rude in Pakistan but acceptable and common in some other Muslim societies..
true but i was referring to when adults use it.
Re: Tum vs Aap
That is a dilemma.
But I don’t think there is any equal substitute.
Re: Tum vs Aap
yes…be-takallufii
Re: Tum vs Aap
Those wives still exist ? 
Where are those lucky husbands ? 
Re: Tum vs Aap
I feel the same way which is a shame because sometimes people look oddly at you if they are speaking to you in urdu and you suddenly switch to another language.. or that's just me it happens to lol.
After I'm done saying the sentence in English which covers the 'you' aspect, I'm back to speaking Urdu. I do it quite skilfully and innocently, lol. Some of those Pakistani guys can kill with their charming conversational styles and etiquettes, or it is the guys I've met so far. But I am definitely impressed, and I don't get easily impressed.
Re: Tum vs Aap
Pehlay aap, pehlay aap
Kehtay kehtay, gaDDi Tur jae gi tay raat Dhall jae gi 
Re: Tum vs Aap
in any smaller towns and in rural areas and also among middle and lower middle class.
Re: Tum vs Aap
tu jitna bhi uksa len main tere ko aap nahin kahoon ga 
Re: Tum vs Aap
have you people noticed that in almost all tafaseer e Quran, God is referred as 'tu' / 'tum'? Aap shows some distance.
Re: Tum vs Aap
Ae abr e karam, aaj itna baras… badal to baraste nahin ab yehi ‘aap’ wali tarkeeb kaar-amad ho sakti hai
Re: Tum vs Aap
have you people noticed that in almost all tafaseer e Quran, God is referred as 'tu' / 'tum'? Aap shows some distance.
never TUM, always TU is used in tafaaseers and in du'aas.
AAP is also not used.
TU is also used to show 'LOVE'.
Re: Tum vs Aap
^ Even I'd thought about this. Why is that?
Re: Tum vs Aap
never TUM, always TU is used in tafaaseers and in du'aas.
AAP is also not used.
TU is also used to show 'LOVE'.
Hum tumhari hi ibaadat karte hain aur tum hi se mangte hain.