One thing I really admire about Urdu is that it’s the language of manners and courtesy, and our whole cultural and lingual emphasis on using the word app as the principal way of addressing people. This essentially reinforces Urdu’s reputation as the language of adab.
I know French have their own tum and app in terms of tu (informal you) and *vous *(formal you), and this is pretty much one of the very first basics of French language you are taught. Same is the case with Punjabi - we have tu/tenu (informal you) and *tussi/tuada/tuanu *(formal you).
I really appreciate how Pakistanis are such dedicated and stylish users of the word ‘app’, and in my view the word alone makes the whole conversation sound so sophisticated and pleasant on the ears, plus the speaker comes across so effortlessly cultured.
When it comes to Urdu, I am personally incapable of speaking in terms of tu/tum/tera. Mainly because I am a naturally reluctant, if not visibly shy speaker of the language, hence I find it difficult to get so instantly and permanently frank with people. Secondly, another part of the reason would be thatI wasn’t taught that kind of Urdu, since all my life I have spoken Urdu mainly to communicate with people who are lot older than me. So in a nutshell, all that blazing flamboyance of a spirited age goes out the window when I converse in Urdu. Not that I’m complaining.
Are you folks concious and selective users of the word *‘app’? Have you ever managed to raise eyebrows or raised eyebrows yourself over ‘tum vs aap’ mix up? I can personally tell a lot about a man by just looking at the way he refers to a woman. My advice would be to stick to the word ‘aap’ *unless you fancy seeing the ‘excuse me?’ look in a woman’s eyes. I have given this look, I should know about this.
It shows respect if you address someone aap.
But I would like to add "taaliaik hath sey nahi bajti"
Respect is all about give and take.
So if someone says aap while addressing you you would be courteous enough to return the same.
On the contrary you know what happens. :)
Bengali has apne, tumi and tui.. Nowadays a lot of families go with tumi rather than the formal apne.. Most husbands and wives would call each other that as well.. In more conservativa families apne might be used more but I wouldn't say it's the majority..
Tui is only really thought of as slang.. I've heard kids and teenagers use it with each other or men when they're being rude/nasty to their wives..
i've noticed a recent trend about the usage of 'AAP' with an incorrect form of verb.
aap khaao = incorrect
aap khaayeNge = correct
it's very important in because at one hand you give all the respect in the world by using the word 'AAP' and immediately you kinda hit that person with a DanDa by using the incorrect form of the verb.
when it comes to Allah [God] the word 'TU' is often used to show closeness and love.
generally, "AAP" is used to elders and people who aren't close to you while 'Tum' [intermediary] is used for friends and to people who are close to you...it shows 'closeness...the word 'TU' is often used as a derogatory word.
aap khaayeNge - respect
tum khaaoge = friendly
tu khaayegaa = derogatory
when it comes to Allah [God] the word 'TU' is often used to show closeness and love.
generally, "AAP" is used to elders and people who aren't close to you while 'Tum' [intermediary] is used for friends and to people who are close to you...it shows 'closeness...the word 'TU' is often used as a derogatory word.
aap khaayeNge - respect
tum khaaoge = friendly
tu khaayegaa = derogatory
So the Bengali tui is like* tu* but is used by kids in a way which isn't necessarily derogatory..
I think Bengalis are probably less formal than Pakistanis.. I rarely come across aap on that side of my family.. Some of us also address our young aunts and uncles by their first names, something considered pretty rude in Pakistan but acceptable and common in some other Muslim societies..
While speaking urdu I can’t use anything else than “aap”.. I feel tum sounds a bit blah. I use that with everyone.
In punjabi I use “twanu” with elders and “tenu” with same age group.
Although it’s a great sign of respect and all that jazz I don’t understand why anyone would get offended if you mistakenly do call them “tum” - Chill people
