if this is how much he pretended to admire you, how would you respond?
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
It depends if after this he said ' tum hansti howee zyada achee lagtee ho '.
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Hmmmm......
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Dushwari...now I'm kinda concerned whats the mess you've gotten yourself into...???
thread after thread of .....
or its all hypothetical...??
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
yaar-- frankly speaking jo baat honi hoti hey woh - ho jati hey uss may pretend kernay ki zaroorat nahin hoti ...
insan per waqt kay saath bhut kuch zaahir ho jata hey ...
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
…Well some people cry very elegantly 
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
ba-khuda it is real.
it is his mess. he must straighten it out.
if he recalls that he was and is true to me.
i come to work as a zombie, go back, and then weep, until i fall asleep by valiums.
as a friend, i fasted for him and his success, when he was giving his board exam.
he shared his child hood pictures with me, saying he only shared them with me.
he was never disrespectful to me, that is one thing i am thankful to him for.
he lacks confidence & his current frustration in his muteness is showing this, unless i am so naive and not realizing who he really is.
then WHY he could not follow through with the proposal?
my sleep, diet and peace - i have given away as a gift to him.
it is not at all comfortable to share something like this, for an unmarried young adult, educated, & self respecting professional woman, to share this at GS.
i trust most of you and your support is thankfully replied with prayers that this may never ever happen to any of you.
however, my reason for sharing this is to identify this pattern in relationships, & prevent other young women from
taking someone to be true.
if they say, they respect you and want to marry you -
do that right away.
in the mean time,
DO not talk at all to them.
-not give them any attention
-not believe them
-not listen to their sad stories
-not love nor expect in return true love.
Do keep in check your own innocent eagerness to not lose them
-to be their friend
UNLESS, such men realize that they are wrong and they openly come back, and accept their mistake and are worthy of marrying you.
the fine line i am walking on, right now is between forgetting and never forgiving.
i would rather forget it all, not have anything to forgive,
& simply have him back, if he can return with a pure heart and a clear mind.
dushwari
Dushwari...now I'm kinda concerned whats the mess you've gotten yourself into...??? thread after thread of .....
or its all hypothetical...??
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
I'm really sorry, if I offended you.
I don't know what to say...never been in a situation like this....but well
All I'd say is, II'll pray for the outcome which is best for you...and what is Best?? Only Alah knows...n time will unfold all His plans in due time.
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
okay okay.. lets backtrack here for a bit.. you say that you think he is interested in you but he doesn't have guts to tell you.. he is acting if he is just a friend of yours .. what's going on here. you gotta make things a bit more clear so we can advice you..
personally.. i think you need to calm down and take things slowly..
life is like an equation.. some variables of this equation are not in our control. For that all we can do is pray and hope for the best. But loosing sleep over it, not eating properly and crying won't help. You gotta calm your nerves and then act...
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Dushwari sweety u have like 20 threads on this issue... ur overthinking the situation... stop thinking about it for a bit, all this worrying is going to accomplish nothing!
Try talking to him instead of thinking up of all the possible things that could happen/have happened...
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Dushu..so i'm assuming it dint work out? Btw are you still working at the same place as before?
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Dushwari, I know it sounds bad, but just accept the fact that he doesn't really care about you and move on. The human is a complex creature, and in the end, we're selfish creatures. You were there for him, and he took you up on that support because it benefited him. Does that mean he has to marry you? In his mind, no. Because that's how a lot of guys are. Marriage to them, is something that their mummy decides.
But you've got the right idea. Don't give in anything until there is a ring on your finger. Otherwise, its worthless. Many guys out there have no respect for women. They see us as some other species, not worth respecting. The sad thing is its often subconscious. So , its not like he's actively thinking "let me use her and hurt her". They just aren't thinking with a sensitive heart, and they're not thinking about how their actions are impacting you.
Best to get out of that situation and focus on yourself. Life is so much more than boyfriends and broken hearts. :)
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
^ agree with PCG 100%
Dushwari yaar, move on..he is not worth it..he is a coward now, and he'll be a coward all his life...abhi thora ro ke apne aap ko humesha ke liay ronay se bacha lo...please don't waste your time and life on this sort of relationship that does not seem to have a future..sorry to be so harsh, but you seem like an intelligent person...you should (or already)know all this...so why are making yourself go through all this??
Please pelase MOVE ON!!!
Personaly, i would be insulted if I had to ask the guy to talk to his parents or send his proposal..because if he was really interested in me or loved me, he would proceed himself...
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Oh god i really genuinely feel sorry for you but your moaning has to stop...
Sometimes things in life dont go to plan and your hardly alone in that...
If i blamed all women for all the bull**** that girls have done to me id be a much bigger cynic than you...but the good thing is i learn from the bad things and i appreciate the good girls that iv met...
And one thing Dushwari sometimes it takes being treated badly to genuinely appreciate when someone is good to you...
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
if this is how much he pretended to admire you, how would you respond?
To me this is sick! A women crying is a terrible scene. Telling a woman that she looks good crying is like insinuating that she deserves that.
Dush: Please stop thinking about this jerk. You are not doing anyone any favour at all by claiming that you will be there when he will return. It is like white-washing all your philosophical jibberish about rights of women and rights of men. This guy needs a kick in the nuts and you need to get a life.
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
A little sensitivity wouldn’t hurt you guys.. 
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
umm i’d be like wteff? are you out of your mind? either that or you need to stop watching too many lollywood movies
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Sorry Dush and Sara for being like this. Sometimes a slap in the face is required to bring one back to senses. It is almost unbearable to see how much pain she is inflicting upon herself.
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
Now, I think this is getting beyond limits.
Sister Dushwari, I have a sincere suggestion, if you don't mind. (It is not a lecture).
1. Either leave him, and pray to Allah (swt) to bless you with enough strength to overcome this phase of your life.
2. Or accept him and make your efforts to improve your relationship with him. Also pray to Allah to make your relationship better with him.
In both cases don't give importance to what he says but what HE DOES. By now, you would have got some idea of his sincerity, so take a STEP> Either LEARN to live WITH HIM or WITHOUT HIM, but please don't live** "IN BETWEEN".**
In both cases try to develop and strengthen your bond with Allah (swt) as it would help your heart in automatically putting everything else whereever it belongs.
If he is sincere with you than you are making fun of his love by making alot of such threads, and if he is not sincere with you, than you are fulfilling his intentions of destroying your life for him by making fun of yourself.
Kindly forgive me if I sound harsh, but it is better to share your feelings with your Lord than with people. People would give you 100 different opinions WITHOUT completely understanding your situation and feelings, but Allah knows each and every bit of feelings in your heart and NOTHING is unsolvable for HIM. Just cry infront of Allah (swt) whenever you are alone and He would inshAllah make a way for you as Allah knows best and our mental capabilities are too limited to understand the wisdom behind Allah's actions.
Re: Tum rotee howee achee legtee ho
For once i agree with PCG.