Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

AQ · March 1, 2006, 1:16am

This is my new poem.

A lot of credit goes to **Amal **for looking into it and guiding me on things that I could not express the way I wanted to.

Amal, I will be bugging you later too

Umeed hai pasand aaye gee

**Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?
**Apni hi qaeynaat sey rooThaa huwa ik toota taara!

Falak ke haath sey chootey to zameeN pe aan girey
Phir jis ke ba’ad koi shikwey raheiN na koi giley

Haalaat ki dehleez per rifaaqatoN ka behimaana qat’l
Jiss ke ba’ad woh chaahey bhi to na paaey sambhal!

BarsoN pehlaY yaad karo hum donoN ney in jaarroN meiN
do roshan taarey deikhey they door kaheiN pahaaroN meiN

uss da’m tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

sard raataiN to beet gaeiN yuNhi taktey taktey taaroN ko
jaaney phir kiss ki nazar lagi unn maasooM bechaaroN ko

Phir Ik din shaam maiN youN hee maiN beThaa kiyaa
tukk rahaa thaa aasmaaN ko kaY kuch youN huaa

unn “dau taaroN” maiN saY ik taraa TooT gayaa
Dooja taaraa aasmaanoN maiN bilkul Tanhaa reh gayaa

maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa
maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa

abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh
Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?

Anwaar** Q**ureshi — 2/27/2006

fghd · March 1, 2006, 1:25am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

uss da’m tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa
Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa
maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa

kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh?
Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?

Loved it!! :k:

Godd job AQ

ghazal_kisi_ke · March 1, 2006, 3:17am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

have you posted this before!? khair beautiful piece of work! :k:

Shahana · March 1, 2006, 6:09am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Very nice.:k: Pur asar nazam hai. Looking for more.

Bholay_Bisray · March 1, 2006, 10:56am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

good try AQ , and i m sure Amal can help u to express ur thoughts in a better way :)

HeArT_HaCKeR · March 1, 2006, 12:22pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

beautiful :k:

Amal · March 1, 2006, 3:58pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

The only thing that goes to my credit is that I was the one who saw it before anyone else here. Let the full credit go to Anwaar for this lovely poem. Keep it up Anwaar k:

AQ · March 4, 2006, 2:35am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

evilmastermind: Thank you for loving it :p

GKK: No, I have not posted it before but the reason it sounds familiar is because the tone and style of opening line is taken from Amal's chain of poems like "Tum nay haaraY huaY Juwaari ko kabhi dekhaa hai" ... Thank you for liking it.

Shahana Aunty: Thank you to you too.

**Bholay Bisray: **Yes, I am sure too.

**Heart Hacker: **bahut dinoN ba'ad nazar aayeeN.. Shukriya

and finally** AMAL:** meraY dost, kitnaa hee jhuTlaao, you have a great part in making it ryhme in few places :p aur waisaY bhee iss kaa aaghaaz tum saY hee churaayaa hai :D Thanks!

NikamiJano · March 4, 2006, 12:04pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

v nice one AQ...thanks for sharing with us ur nice work :)

OMG · March 5, 2006, 3:58am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Zabardast.

Capricorn · March 11, 2006, 7:43pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Its beautiful and quite sad at the same time. The warmth of togetherness and the pangs of separation described in it is just amazing. Loved it :k:

AQ · March 12, 2006, 6:56am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Nikamijanoo, OMG and Capri thanks..

Capri, I am glad to see you picking out the part that is actually the theme and my favorite as well :)

Capricorn · March 12, 2006, 9:33am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

I got myself identified in that theme. Jaaron kee sard, chandinee raaton mein woh chat pe beth ke taaron ko dekhna aur andheree raaton mein taaron ke tootne ke manaazir dil pe aaj bhee naqsh hain. Tumhare khayaal kee rawaanee mein apne khayaal ko paaya to be-khud sa rah gaya!

Prince_Ali · March 12, 2006, 11:33am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

:k:

OMG · March 12, 2006, 11:37am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Kash main bhi aap ki tarha shairi kar sakti.:p

Berhi_Bee · March 13, 2006, 5:50pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Anwaar Qureshi:

**Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai? **Apni hi qaeynaat sey rooThaa huwa ik toota taara!

Falak ke haath sey chootey to zameeN pe aan girey Phir jis ke ba'ad koi shikwey raheiN na koi giley

Haalaat ki dehleez per rifaaqatoN ka behimaana qat'l Jiss ke ba'ad woh chaahey bhi to na paaey sambhal!

BarsoN pehlaY yaad karo hum donoN ney in jaarroN meiN do roshan taarey deikhey they door kaheiN pahaaroN meiN

uss da'm tum kuch yaad karo kiya kiya hum naY socha thaa Ik taaraa meraa thaa aur aik taaraa unn maiN teraa thaa

sard raataiN to beet gaeiN yuNhi taktey taktey taaroN ko jaaney phir kiss ki nazar lagi unn maasooM bechaaroN ko

Phir Ik din shaam maiN youN hee maiN beThaa kiyaa tukk rahaa thaa aasmaaN ko kaY kuch youN huaa

unn "dau taaroN" maiN saY ik taraa TooT gayaa Dooja taaraa aasmaanoN maiN bilkul Tanhaa reh gayaa

maiN dekhtaa rahaa, sochtaa rahaa, bahut ghaur kiyaa maiN abb bhee naa samjhaa kaY konsaa taaraa TooT gayaa

abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

kuch jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tooTaa thaa woh? Kiss kee wafaaouN kaa khoon kar gayaa thaa woh?

Anwaar** Q**ureshi --- 2/27/2006

humesha ki terha bohet hi khoub :)
likhtay rehain .....aur share kertay rehain :)

khoush rehain

system · March 16, 2006, 4:14pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

It's a wonderful poem... with a deep background... but I somehow feel it does neither represent your style of writing, neither Amal's... I could be just me but while reading I felt like I was reading a mixture of two totally different writers... No doubt, you and Amal, both are great poets on your own way, lekin aap donoN ka ehsaas ko lafzoN key pehnaavey meiN laaney ka alag alag qareenah hai, likhney ka apna apna andaaz hai... and if I'm not mistaken, the first part of the poem is more influenced by Amal than the second part. I guess I would have liked both your and Amal's first and untouched versions better.. no matter if it rhymes or not! But here again... it's just a personal preference... keep it the way you like best... :-)

goodnews · August 9, 2007, 1:55am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

abb maiN pochtaa hee rehtaa hooN subb saY yeh
Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?
Nahi** Magar ap ki shairi ny btaa diya Ky kysa hota hy tota tara:)**

AQ · August 9, 2007, 5:40am

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Oh man… I missed so many replies to answer..

Goodnews: what’s up with all this old threads digging movement

tum jaantaY ho kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa woh :(?

thanx

aur kaash maiN aap kee tarah paintings :~)

Thanks for the duaaz

laikin kiyaa uss tarah pataa chaltaa, kaunsaa taaraa tootaa thaa?

goodnews · August 9, 2007, 10:52pm

Re: Tum nay TooT-taY huaY taaraY ko kabhi dekhaa hai?

Mujhy gumshuda khazanon ki tlash ka shooq hy bas isi liy digging karti rehti hon, or gumghashta dafeeny nikal lati hon :D