Re: Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
Such a good thread...I haven't posted in the forum for a while but just came across this and felt I have to post.....
My story:
Been married 10 years - I conceived in first month of trying (2 months after getting married), sailed through until I started bleeding at around 14 weeks...miscarried New Years Day 2002 :(
Left it the suggested 3 months before trying again...got pregnant again first month of trying baby stopped developing so had to terminate pregnancy :(
Since then I have not been able to conceive....believe me I have gone through the darkest of days........I have been irrational, thrown tantrums, lost a lot of family and friends, suffered anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, burnt bridges..........
The depression and dark days only started lifting around 3 years ago........
We have continued trying.......
In early 2003 I was diagnosed with potential PCOS although have never had cysts...went on Metformin........the weight gain was painful.......
Got referred for IVF but the weight was too high.........So here's the vicious circle - PCOS = Weight Gain/hard to lose weight............until I lose weight=no IVF.
I have had a cycle of IVF privately - everything went like clockwork but no embryos implanted :( (Apparently the embryos were top quality too which hurts more)
Last year we decided to go for Hajj this year..........
In the learning process inbetween, I came to realise this is a test from the Almight Allah SWT.....I am ashamed that until recently I didn't automatically turn to my Imaan.....When everything started happening with all this I was just 21......young, naive, had always had everything on a plate............
We performed our Hajj this year masha allah....
In everything, during tawaf, during waqoof e arafat and muzdalifah, in every dua between safaa marwaa, and in every other dua I prayed for a naik healthy child.not just for me but for every childless muslim.may Allah accept this dua ameen.
So reading HinaImran's post saying your heart is breaking, you can't go on...yes this is how we feel....but look at us, alham dulillah Allah SWT gives us the strength and courage to keep going day by day.he gives us the hidayat to turn to dua **and **medicine/science......
I can't express in words what I want to say to you all..........I just want to say, stress and pressure doesn't help us in our circumstances....I find it calming to read 'Inna Lillah.....' whenever I feel the loss of my children.......
Do whatever your heart tells you to.....but always trust in Allah SWT's power......he has everything taken care of for you........
Make dua, seek forgiveness, read wazifa's.........take every step in medicine/science with Allah's name.....
Insha Allah we will all be blessed with naik and healthy children......ameen
Hope this thread keeps going :)
and prayers are all i can send your way.
The bottom line is…Just remember me in your prayers!
awwwwww wannabe