Try-n-buy?

[diwana]

^ Allow me to recapitualate what has been said:

@Mamaof3

SO. You have a major choice to make, a life changing choice. Do you try it out first or do you just dive in, buy it and hope for the best?

In Desi culture, the biggest of life-changing events - that of marriage - is many times left to others to decide. And sometimes, motives are questionable.

This recent thread about the guy who readily dates but would never marry one who dates really annoyed me. Gals who date are looking for a life partner. This is a cultural western thing. To take advantage of that - to date with absolutely no intention of ever going further than having some fun - is a really slimy thing to do. So there are some fobby-types who take advantage of western cultured girls who are looking for potential mates in the way they are accustomed to do yet these fobs have no intention of ever advancing the relationship. Do they lie to the gal to keep it going? Do they lie to their potential and pure rishtas that they’ve kept themselves pure?

Western women find spouses by dating. Good or bad, thats how it IS. If you find yourself tempted to take advantage of this, just DONT. If you’re curious and you think you may just marry a western-type i you happen to fall in love then by all means proceed. But using a girl for fun and being deceptive about your intentions is actually no better than rape.

Proceed with caution, guys. Inshallah, those who play with fire will eventually get burnt pretty badly.

So we started with this first post by Mamaof3.

It states that gals in west date for finding a mate. And somehow fob’s who do not marry the gals, stay just for fun in the relation do a slimy act. Not necessarily.

If the relationship is started from the outset as “for fun”, meeting, and non-commited dating; then what kind of social sin (apart from religious sin) any man does? Fob or not, both do the same act. Isn’t it? Both may lie. Both may run away from the gal when commitment develops.

There may not be any verbal commitment all throughout the fun relation from guy side and yet the gal eventually try to make him responsible for her emotional attachment to him.

I already mentioned above and will say again in different way that using someone for fun and playing with someone’s emotions at the outset and having evil intention is wrong by all means. But this is not a general phenomenon or unique to fob/fop.

Even a gal may lie or decieve. Not always but may start telling the guy from beginning “I am not in to commitment”. Let’s have fun". OR

more commonly: “Let’s play by ear”

X2 bhai, You just confirmed this as well. I agree with that.

Not all dating is for finding a mate.

Then why cry when the guys leave gals?

@X2

and niether does dating in all cases.
dating does not mean the establishment of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing
all dating in essence is meeting people..
now if we are talking about serious relationships ..whether physical or not, and hookups thats a diff thing

so just like you are evaluating a person when you are introduced by someone and meeting at community events or family events, similarly if you are meeting someone on your own and evaluating, from an emotional attachment and investment there is no real difference.