Do you? It’s not about how much you need to have assistance for your kids but can you trust them completely with your kids?.
I am personally not in favour of having maids/baby sitters for kids. I think its fine if you want to have assistance for your kids you can have a maid to have their clothes cleaned and someone to look after their toys or whatever. But i know i can’t think of having someone other then say myself, my mil, my mother or our sisters/bhabi take care of their food or even hygiene. I have seen it with my own eye how cruel these maids can be with kids and i have decided when i become a mother i will never have one for my kids come what may. Thats why i think its very important that you have kids when you know you are ready for the responsibility. And not just to compete with your cousines or to go with the flow.
I also dont understand how some people leave their kids at relatives place for days…shocked i mean did you give birth to them for others to take care of them?! Huh.
yeah i totally agree with u i think its better you look after ur own kid......i rather not prefer my mom to look after my son........i think the mother is the best one to know and look after their child good
And about leaving ur kids at someone house is ok when is it necessary like when someone goes for hajj or etc and it has to be ur close relative house.......
Even in pakistan I RARELY find an example where parents leave there children ALONE with the maids.
There is always someone in the house like a grandparent or a aunt or uncle. They are just there to entertain the kids rather than take full responsibility for them.
I agree with you Monk - you have to trust someone completely.
I have an ethical issue with keeping a maid in Pakistan/UAE etc. I know a lot of people have them and I also understand the financial benefit they have but because there are no defined rules or regulations regarding such house hold help, they are vulnerable to abuse.
I know, I know, you all will say not my family but that just doesn't cut it.
I think babysitters are fine as long as you have references and you know them well enough to leave your kids for a few hours. I wouldn't find someone via Craigslist or Sulekha if you know what I mean.
If we can manage, we will not opt for maid/baby sitter and by manage I mean taking long time off (yes without pay). I did it for last 15 months as my wife was finishing up some of her certificate/diploma courses, I stayed home with our little one and now as she has finished her courses, she is at home and I have rejoined my work.
But then I guess it also depends on the nature of work. I am a IT professional and found tonz of work even while working from home so there was no (or very little) effect on household earnings.
In Pakistan, maybe Maids and full time nannys are status symbol but in USA, day cares and baby sitters are needs. We dont have our family members living with us or close to us. If mom and dad, bot hare busy at certain time then I see no reason why cant they have a baby sitter for their kids.
Hired helped is becoming a bit pricey in bigger cities in Pakistan so you actually see a shift in people's mentality. But in the rural areas it's nothing short of slavery.
Mr Maroush was brought up by his nanny as his mother went back to work literally a couple of weeks after giving birth…and in fact, even after she left work, she still had the nannies for her children, so that she had time to be a lady of leisure. When our first girl was born, Mr Maroush wanted the same for her. I totally disagreed and was dead against it, given the relationship between hubby and my MIL now, which is not your typical child/mother relationship, so i definitely did not want that for my children. I understand where he was coming from; he wanted me to have some time to myself, but i would still be at home, so i didn’t see the point in employing another set of hands to look after my babies.
However, with baby number three nearly here, i would consider some form of help in a couple of months, maybe year or so, as i want to get back into some voluntary work.
Oh, and when i say “help”, i mean a qualified nanny…or even a family member actually, seeing as i’ll be living in closer to them soon.
Well if both parents have to work then the best they can do is try and have their working hours as such that atleast one parent is with the kids for the best possible time. If even that cant be done then i am hoping they would be living at a joint family system or say atleast their inlaws so that they can have their support with the kids. If none of these then i guess they can't help it much. Its cruel to say that they should wait and have kids when they can afford to give them time but i see no other way they can make sure the kids are being taken care of and are in safe hands.
