Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
i agree, kids should never be left with strangers, and I used that exact reason all my life to cut classes. frikkin sending me to school and stuff..what bull..
i hereby give the bad parents of the decade award to my mum and dad. This is what you get for forcing me out of my comfortable bed and sending me off to school and later to uni..
hay hay ho ho
this school lameness has got to go
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
who here has watched nanny diaries...."nanny cam in the teddy bear" :D
As for the question...no I wouldn't trust my kids with nannies! I would have enough troble raising them myself!!
Well if both parents have to work then the best they can do is try and have their working hours as such that atleast one parent is with the kids for the best possible time. If even that cant be done then i am hoping they would be living at a joint family system or say atleast their inlaws so that they can have their support with the kids. If none of these then i guess they can't help it much. Its cruel to say that they should wait and have kids when they can afford to give them time but i see no other way they can make sure the kids are being taken care of and are in safe hands.
i'm sorry but i find this a very naive point of view. i do hope for your sake that when you have children that staying home or living with the inlaws is possible for you, but your opinion is actually kind of insulting to those parents who have to work and have no choice but to leave their kids with caregivers. plenty of kids are raised this way with no negative effects from being left with a nanny, and plenty of mothers raise their kids this way and have successful careers. besides, not every woman takes to motherhood like a duck to water- i have friends who have undergone identity crises because all of a sudden they're thrust into this new "mommy" role and don't know who they are anymore beyond that. so for some women, that time working away from kids can actually be a sanity-saver and can help them be better mom's in the long run.
also, a maid shouldn't be looking after your child anyway- she's there to clean and cook, not mind children. completely different job description.
the idea of waiting to have a child until everything is perfect is like living in a dreamland. there will never be a perfect time to have a child. there will never be enough time or enough money for you to say, ok, now i'm going to have a child. you just go ahead and have a baby and you work around them. i'm not saying people with nothing but 2 cents to their name should breed like rabbits- i'm talking about your average, educated, employed, healthy couple.
plus, to wait to have a child specifically until one person can stay home with them? that's pure luxury living in the West where two incomes are more or less a must to run a household. i would rather have my baby be looked after by a qualified nanny at home or in a daycare, so that i could work and be able to provide for them in many more ways than just changing diapers and feeding them.
X2 - lol! :p
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
^:k:
X2 - lol! :p
I am insulted that my POV is never taken seriously around here. I am going to leave GS now..well soon, a few years or so, just need to take care of a few things.
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
When you return, we’ll try to take you more seriously 
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
it was a very serious point expressed in a unique style :(
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
Trust me I used the same argument when someone was accusing me of neglecting my kids when I left them with a trusted babysitter… 
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
As others have said, it is very important to distinguish the role of a babysitter/nanny and that of a maid. Maid's should never be given the sole responsibility of caring for the child; their training is in cleaning. If the maid is a trusted adult who has been known for a long time, then it's find once in a while, the same way any other adult might be asked to watch kids for a little bit. But that should never be the regular routine.
Babysitters and nannies with training and references, who are clearly knowledgeable about childcare, are very different. For those parents who cannot or choose not to be home with kids 24 hours a day, having a good nanny is wonderful. Some women are not very attentive mothers, so even though they may be home, they may well not be providing what a nanny can provide. Of course a parents' love and care is irreplaceable; but you don't have to be the only person looking out for your child in order to provide that love and care.
Sahar I don't think you get trained nannies in Pakistan. Usually grannys in joint family system provide a helping hand.
I always find it very strange when an educated and very modern housewife hire a preteen girl to take care of her toddler. I mean the help is often time barely ouuta dipers.
There is nothing wrong with leaving your kids at child center or with individual babysitter if you are a working parent though.
i'm sorry but i find this a very naive point of view. i do hope for your sake that when you have children that staying home or living with the inlaws is possible for you, but your opinion is actually kind of insulting to those parents who have to work and have no choice but to leave their kids with caregivers. plenty of kids are raised this way with no negative effects from being left with a nanny, and plenty of mothers raise their kids this way and have successful careers. besides, not every woman takes to motherhood like a duck to water- i have friends who have undergone identity crises because all of a sudden they're thrust into this new "mommy" role and don't know who they are anymore beyond that. so for some women, that time working away from kids can actually be a sanity-saver and can help them be better mom's in the long run. also, a maid shouldn't be looking after your child anyway- she's there to clean and cook, not mind children. completely different job description.
to wait to have a the idea of waiting to have a child until everything is perfect is like living in a dreamland. there will never be a perfect time to have a child. there will never be enough time or enough money for you to say, ok, now i'm going to have a child. you just go ahead and have a baby and you work around them. i'm not saying people with nothing but 2 cents to their name should breed like rabbits- i'm talking about your average, educated, employed, healthy couple.
plus, child specifically until one person can stay home with them? that's pure luxury living in the West where two incomes are more or less a must to run a household. i would rather have my baby be looked after by a qualified nanny at home or in a daycare, so that i could work and be able to provide for them in many more ways than just changing diapers and feeding them.
X2 - lol! :p
I agree with most of what you said but I do think that planning is very essential when it comes to the decision of having kids. It can be matter of financial stability or just mental prepertaion but planning your family is a wise thing to do.
Re: Trusting maids with your kids?
^ you're missing my point. its not that planning for a family isn't important, its that there is no such thing as a "perfect" time to have a child. ultimately, it is in Allah's hands and like my own mother told me, when i was searching for the "perfect" time, every child brings its own rizq and kismet with it, so worrying about not having enough money or not having enough space or not enough whatever and waiting to have a child because of those reasons- its not really helpful.
and like i said, this applies to your average, educated, employed, healthy couple and not teens in high school who just seem to get pregnant with no thought of consequences. now that's a bad time to have a baby.
so yes, by all means plan- have savings, for one- but don't put off having a child because you don't have $50,000 in the bank, live in a 6 bedroom house with a yard, and have a brand new minivan in your driveway (or whatever your idea of perfection is (this isn't mine, btw. minivan? shudder :p)). your life doesn't go on hold because you're with child- you and your husband will keep earning, you'll keep saving, life goes on. babies fit into where you are, not the other way around.