True sincerity from heart & Soul

Lifestyle Relationships
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Many people claim of sincerity but very few live up to it.

For me following are few real life examples of sincere people.

1. Inspite of family pressure, my relative kept his early promise of not re-marrying after his wife died, and dedicated his whole life to their small children for 23 years before he himself died.

2. In his life everyone used to claim love and sincerity for him, but after he died, very few actually prayed regularly with silent tears, for the blessings and forgiveness of Allah upon his soul.

3. A Successful Jew Director General when asked about the secret of his workers working sincerely for him and not leaving his company for a long time, he replied. " My criteria is very simple. I only accept people who have three good qualities.
a. They are very religious, no matter which religon they belong to.
b. They give their whole weekend to their family
c. They exercise regularly.
When asked about the reason of this criteria, he replied. " Anyone who is sincere to his “Creator”, “Family” and to himself “His body” respectively, I am sure he would be sincere to me as well.

What according to you determines sincerity of beloved ones ?

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Finally I would like to share the following incident as a good example of sincerity. It is worth reading.

Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle.

Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the "No Man's Land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.

"You can go," said the Lieutenant, "but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away."

The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.

Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company's trench.

As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend. "I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded."

"**It was worth it, though, sir," **the soldier said.

"How do you mean, 'worth it'?" **responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead!"**

"Yes sir," the private answered. "But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, 'Jim, I knew you'd come.'"

Many a times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not really depends on how you look at it.

Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in life.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ aisay gr8 log qisson main he hotay hain.
as for ur very 1st example of man not remarrying i think its stupid.was he sincere to his dead wife who would never know wat happened afterwards or to his kids who grew up with a single parent n a gap for mother like figure.
i truly don't believe in ppl either male or female not remarrying after their partners loss by death .halat k mutabiq change hona samajhdari hoti hai unfaithfulness nahi.
i did like the jews philosophy n i think i'm not sincere to my creator n my self :(

For those of you who like sweet potatoes
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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Brother if you read "Hayat-us-Suhaba" you would realize that even alot more amazing incidents than the one I mentioned were not only in books but in REAL life as well. Though if we consider present age, than you are right, such cases might be rare, but we can't say they don't exist.

About the first example, I have yet to see a step father or step mother in present age doing justice among their "own" children and other children. There might be cases of sincerity of step parents but may be 1 % (in my understanding, I might be wrong). He didn't re-marry because he and his wife promised to each other that if anyone of them died, the other wouldn't re-marry. (probably for the better future of their children and saving them from inferiority complex) :)

Aafia Siddiqui Forced to Walk Naked Over the Qur’an
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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

i'll correct u that i'm no brother.n yes i hav read isaar n qurbani ki bemisal examples but ab ye batain qisson jaisi lagti hain.coz logon ne in examples ko follow kerna chore dia hai.ab majority ko apni fikr pehlay hoti hai kisi aur ki baad main.
jahan tak step parents k baat hai tu logon ne in lafzoon ko bad-naam ker rekha hai.ye cheezon k nahi insani rishton k naam hain n insaan her tarah k hotay hain.aur aaj kal tu i see lots of broad minded ppl who live in a good family system together.jub hum apnay inlaws ko patiently tolerate kertay hain for our partners sake so y not their kids.jub sub fairly aik dosray k saath rehain tu they forget whos real n whose not.haan its the ppl around us who brings prob.kabhi bachon ko baarkha dia tu kabhi maan/baap ko aik dosray k khilaaf ker dia.Ager aap apnay bachchay pe yell bhi ker lain(even pak main aik laga bhi dain)tu ppl will b fine but if u say something to ur stepkid they'll make a mountain out of mole.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ Alright sister, I might be wrong, but I have yet to see a person marrying a widow (with kids), "not" for money, property or any other worldly cause. As you said
[quote=]
ab ye batain qisson jaisi lagti hain.coz logon ne in examples ko follow kerna chore dia hai.ab majority ko apni fikr pehlay hoti hai kisi aur ki baad main.
[/quote]

So, we can also imply it to the case of marrying a widow, as it requires sacrifice. (Incase if he is not marrying for money, beauty, status....etc)

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ then come meet my stepfather some time.
i lost my dad 5 yrs ago a month b4 my wedding.n after i got married n came here.so many ups n downs came to my family that my mother left to a strange situation where she couldn't live in middle east n we couldn't sponsor her here right away n she couldn't go back n live alone in Pak so she had no choice but to get marry.My new father on other hand had a wife seriously ill for past 10 yrs n finally lost her.So he wanted to start all over n married my mom with no property as u may say.the only diff is both hav kids all grown up n married except my younger bro n one step sis.He financially supports my brother in studies whenever needed.Well things canot be 100% whole time.ups n downs r there but on the whole its not as u read in stories.Its all in qismat n Allah's hands.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

ohh...I appologise, I didn't mean to offend you. It was my general observation and I sincerely shared the information I get in daily life. Kindly forgive me for my words in my previous posts. MAy Allah forgive me...

I understand that there are good people in all societies, and mashAllah your step father is one of them.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ i didn't mind anything n y should i.u wanted an example n i gav u one.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ JAzakAllah khair. I understand now.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Isnt it recommended that a Muslim be married...so the guy who decided not to get remarried isnt he actually worse of in the eyes of Allah than the guy who remarries?...
And the Jewish guy quote is good...

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ It's recommended, it's not forced. If a person can stay single for the rest of their life and be committed to their religion and control their urges, what's wrong with staying single?

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Lol i never said it was forced...

The original poster put a guy who doesnt remarry on a pedestal and gave the impression that he is more sincere than a guy that remarries...

Now all im stating is that in theory surely you are more sincere if you remarry cos its what God recommends for you...Allah prefers you married than not...
Recommended actions are better than permissable actions arent they...

And in terms of controlling your urges and staying single...nothing wrong with that at all...its just Allah states that you shuld get married in order to use those urges in the correct manner...being single makes it harder surely cos we all seek physical and emotional satisfaction...its the nature of human being...

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^ not only need of companion for the person but also kids of single parents go thru lots of emotional ups downs themselves.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Well, the one who would be "worse in the eyes of Allah" does imply that marriage in life is forced :p but yeah i get ur point and i agree, i hated being single, maybe its my personality or upbringing and culture, so yeah I get ur point..but i know this isn't the same for everyone, others are truly happy being single, and others who've been widowed don't feel they can ever be happy re-marrying and would feel it's betrayal to their spouse and children.. watever the circumstances are..i know women have their iddat period (in divorce and death) but i dont think men have one (correct me if i'm wrong)..

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

^^ no men can marry the very next day their wives pass away n most don't do it may b coz log kia kehain gay but after 4,5 months akser k wedding invitations ana shuru ho jatay hain :)

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Damn that's sleazy :( Kam-as-kam it shud be 1 year before they remarry.:(

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Allah mian ko pata hai na kis main kitna hai dum.ijazat na daitay tu ye log secretly ker laitay

*yawn*
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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

sincerity is so slippery at times, that even if you have emotional guards on, when losing trust in someone, human nature is such that we will and we do feel shocked and hurt badly.

sometimes, that shock and hurtfulness, remains a part of yoy forever.
without sincerity, no relationship can ever be imagined.

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Re: True sincerity from heart & Soul

Earlier I didn't think of another aspect of re-marrying.

Before re-marrying one needs to consider alot of things. No rule can be set for it as it depends alot on the nature of the person and "more importantly" the nature of the children. In alot of cases the children considered the step mother to be someone who came to take place of their mother. No matter how nice and caring the step mother was, their immature minds didn't accept her as a part of their family and this feeling developed into hatred as they grew older and ultimately lead to regular fights and misbehaving with her.

^ So, the decison of whether re-marrying is good or not good remains controversial and case sensitive.