True Identities Revealed

Hangout GupShup Cafe
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My Dear fellow Pakistanis:

A friend who works for the U.S. State Department has informed me that CIA (in collaboration with Israelis) has penetrated into Guppshupp, and its operatives are disguising themselves as Pakistanis. As a Pakistani, I feel it is my faraz (duty) to inform my fellow brethren of this development and reveal names of the spies so appropriate protective measures can be taken. The ultimate goal of the CIA is to promote democracy in Guppshup (at least that’s what my friend tells me), and they are spending an undisclosed amount of money to achieve that goal. As we all know that it is against our principles even to think about Democracy. Below are the names (and the real identities) of the spies:

Guppshupp Name --(Real Name as listed on Birth Certificate) – additional comments

Jewels of Insignificance – (Joel Seigle) – also goes by the name “24 Karats”

Roohh – (Spirit of St. Lewis) - Born to Hippie parents

Sonya – (Sonya Gandhi) - Indian agent on loan to CIA

MNI – (Q. T. Pie) - Chinese agent on loan to CIA

Channmahi – (Chin M. Hoi) – Korean American

Dayse Behna – (Daisy Binyamin) - Israeli agent on loan to CIA. Trained Assassin

Ghalib – (Guy Lombardo) – Pretty harmless unless provoked

Admin – (Ed McMan) – Political Strategist for CIA Asia Operations

Achtung – (William F. Buckley, Jr.) – Senior Spy. Also known as “Cut & Paste”. Well read about Islam and Islamic societies. Hell! Well read about everything. The one to keep under “close” watch.

Msaqibj – (Lois Farrakhan) – Hired by CIA only to be a token operative. Mildly dangerous.

Abdullah – (Ramzi Yusef) – Double agent – Dangerous!!

Camille – (Laila Khalid) – Double agent – Sharp but Gentle

Stud – (Wolfgang Studdemeyer) – A Skinhead from Berlin with close ties to Stassi.

Umar Talib – (Talbot U. Meyer) - On ADL’s payroll

Khilari – (Kyle Larry Robinson) – First African-American promoted to Rank of Colonel in CIA

Shirarti – (Shawn Humorstein) - Israeli agent on loan to CIA

Munza – (Moneem Zion) - Israeli agent on loan to CIA. Also known as “Full Metal Jacket”

Manzur – (I. P. Daley ) – IRA agent on loan to CIA. “Lethal Weapon”

Muddasser – (Yitzahk Mordiachi, also goes by the name Mad As*er) - Israeli on loan

Mirzayasir – (Yusri Mizrahi) - Double Ahmadi-Israeli agent on loan to CIA. Expert in herbal medicine and Marijuana.

Lahori ***** – (Le-Whore Randieree) - From streets of Paris on loan to CIA

Hamid – (Harry Middleton) - M-11 on loan to CIA (Intern)

Jack Handy – (Jack Handy) – Good with tools

Choudry Sahib – (Charles Schwab) – Good with finances

FEMALE SPIES DISGUISED AS MALES:

Ironman – (Irene Silverman) – Challenges everyone and follows you home for no reason

PG – (Priyanka Gandhi) - Indian Agent on Loan to CIA. Related to Sonya

MALE SPIES DISGUISED AS FEMALES:

Kashmirigirl – (Cash M. Regal) – A Mormon from Utah

Naik-Larki – (Nick Larkson) – Good golfer. Sometimes hits ball too hard

Mehnoor – (Phillips Lightbulb) - Born to Hippie Parents

Zainab – (Zak Anobovich) - Ukrainian agent on loan to CIA

Please be assured that I will keep you posted whenever new information becomes available.

Yours truthfully,

NYAhmadi – (NYAhmadi)

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**This message is in encryption For all loyal Gup Shuppers**

Hi dear friends! I want to inform you that half of the iformation given to NYAhmadi by CIA is bogus. It might be due to the fact that CIA wants to confuse the GuppLand and its citizens and cause a civil war.

I am a double agent working for CIA and LFROHM(Lahoris For Re-habiliation Of Hira Mandi). CIA does not even know my real identity. I am not Korean. I am Channan Singh Mahil, a very dedicated Punjabi trained in martial arts and latest software hacking tools and hired by LFROHM to counter spy on some suspected GuppLand citizens working for GOI(Govt of India) and GOP(Govt of Pakistan) in anti-Lahori and particularly anti-Hira Mandi activities.

The information leakage from CIA files by Israeli agent Stephenapolis to NYAhmadi regarding this covert operation have forced me to disclose my true identity to fellow Gupp Shuppers to avoid any future misshappenings.

I do have some very pertinent information on CIA, Israeli and Indian agents working to destroy the rising popularity of GuppLand among desi netalcohilics which will be disclosed as this GuppGate scandal unfolds.

*Message over*

PS:I almost fell off my chair reading this. It is great. Loved it. NYAhmadi, thanks for this timely information to GupShuppers. :)

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Darn counter-intelligence spotted me again.

I am the guy who steals low tech secrets on how to hammer nails US style… - now how would the politboro balming our ecnomic lapses on…

… my cover is blown - i’ll self destruct in 2 secs BOOOOOMMMM!!!

Best expressed when heard with the accompabying soundtrack…

members.xoom.com/ChicagoMeet/mission.mid

[This message has been edited by Jack Handy (edited March 24, 1999).]

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http://www.pak.org/gupshup/biggrin.gif

Good one!

Laughing out really loud! Neeh, Neeh, Heen, Heen, Hooon, Hooon, Haaaan, haaaan, Eeen, Eeeeeen… :):):slight_smile:

Ciao!
Daysee Behna

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thanks man,
firstly,didn't know i wss an indian,i nearly fell off the chair reading this,hee!hee!hee!related to the Gandhi"s ,THEN I SHOULD HAVE MILLIONS STASH AWY IN THE SWISS BANKS.i am rich-yepee!!!!thanks but its alright ....don't want to die yet like the gandhis.by the way are u by any chance certified insane -u seem weird alright.one thing 4 sure no one will fall for all this crap-don;t bother with the attemt to gain attention.get a life,do somethind worthy.

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**
hehehehhehehhe....very funny...huh :)
Do i really hit ball that hard....really? ;)**

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I think I should try hard to meet sonya since she is my long lost mother according to this post.

[This message has been edited by PG (edited March 24, 1999).]

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This has got to be the funniest post I have ever read on Gup Shup!!!

Hat's off to you NYAhmadi!!! And thank you.

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jack handy,
i like the acompanying soundtrack-i couldn't help laughing out loud every time i hear the soundtrack ..great sense of humour,way to go,i take my hats offu.so u are supposed to be dead right?
pg,
my long lost child.plz do come and see your mum.grab aticket and fly down .or we can do it vice versa,u do u say?
.nyahmadi,
thanks 4 entertaining us.

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jack handy,
i like the acompanying soundtrack-i couldn't help laughing out loud every time i hear the soundtrack ..great sense of humour,way to go,i take my hats offu.so u are supposed to be dead right?
pg,
my long lost child.plz do come and see your mum.grab aticket and fly down .or we can do it vice versa,u do u say?
.nyahmadi,
thanks 4 entertaining us.

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Shukar hai kisi nai mujhay nahie pehchana. :)

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Ny Ahmadi,

well done! this is really funny, still laughing after re - reading it! You have a very vivid imagination I must say.

Take care.

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Still a couple of steps ahead of you. Nice trick, provoking me with insults so that I reveal my real name and location.

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Shooot...!!

Thats the last time I invite you in my house!!

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hehehee :)
AssaaN tay sidhay sadhay paindoo heagay...kadhay apnay pind tow baar nai gaey..kithay Ukrain...ai phala CIA ki bala haigi????
;)

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Dear NY Ahmadi,

Everything you wrote about me is true except one thing. I am an Ahmadi. PROUD. I am a specialist of herbal medicine. PROUD. I am an expert of Marijuana (because in homeopathy, one medicine is made from marijuana). PROUD.

BUT Why did you said i am ISRAELI???????

PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION

MIRZA YASIR

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Dear Mirzayasir,

I am happy that you are proud to be everything that I thought you were. In terms of Israel, what kind of Ahmadi are you? Are you aware that Ahmadiya Jamat has a mission in Israel, which is run by Dutch, English, and African Ahmadis (because Pakistanis cannot go to Israel). It is the only “muslim” missionary present in Israel. Besides that, I think there is nothing to be ashamed of if someone calls you an Israeli. In my opinion, Ahmadis are the Jews of Pakistan.

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I wonder if new names have been added to the list above. :)

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PM me if my name is included in the list :)

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Muzna: *
This has got to be the funniest post I have ever read on Gup Shup!!!

[/QUOTE]

Definitely. :D