i have had trouble either makign or keeping friends since i was a kid!
i go into depressions without friends!
i dont understand why it is so hard for me to make frinds…i try my best to be so nice to them..i am not sure if its me or them?
i dont know whats wrong with me!
Anyone knows what could be the reason, and how i can overcome it!
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
People never treat well the friends that are so giving and nice.
Try playing hard to get. More people will be calling you to spend time with you if you're that object they have to reach to get.
Well, if you want to play that game. I personally don't bother with that. Just be nice to everyone but keep a healthy distance. Get close to people that are worth getting close to. And if someone isn't giving you a lift, give up on them and move on.
i have had trouble either makign or keeping friends since i was a kid! i go into depressions without friends! i dont understand why it is so hard for me to make frinds...i try my best to be so nice to them..i am not sure if its me or them? i dont know whats wrong with me!
Anyone knows what could be the reason, and how i can overcome it!
It is quite simple...................Just do not go into a friendship with any expectations!
It is quite simple...................Just do not go into a friendship with any expectations!
ditto
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
keep it even. dont give in too much
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
There is no such thing as a "friend". Who needs friends anyway?
There is no such thing as a "friend". Who needs friends anyway?
you serious?
i am starting to think that either there is so such thign as "friend" or there is somthign wrong with me!
I need a friend...and not just one, lots of them.
i tend to feel like a looser and tend to go into depression without friends...
A lot of people say to me, stuff like "you are so nice"...
and i dont know why i can not make friendsss...
i approach people..initiate the convo...but at the end of the day i am just an associate for them!...or just a hi/hello friend...
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
Let me repharse that who needs friends when you have gupshup!!! ;)
Seriously, I have gone through so many friends and have gone in and out of depression due to it.
I really don't even care anymore. I am so busy with work, family, my fiance, and household duties. I don't even have time for friends anymore.
The key is to keep yourself busy with something that is beneficial. Such as a job, school, or learning something new. Like cooking, or a new language.
Friends will ALL be there for you during your good times. But AS soon as you have a hard time and need someone there for you... they are gone in a snap.
Useful advice is play hard to get. I am too nice as well, so people take advantage of me, but when I get tired and stand up for myself they back away and are no longer my friend LOL.
Play hard to get, don't get too close, and keep realistic expectations.
Do you have any sisters? Your mom and your sister's will be there for you no matter what. Those are your true friends.
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
^:k: Agreed
Will you be my phriend??
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
^OMG, you’re in DC?? WOW!! I’m in VA … sure, I’ll be your “phriend”. PM me ASAP larki 
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
VA? Hit me up... but you better not betray me... or I will post it all over GS!!! LMAOOOOO
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
^:omg: I’m soooo scared right now 
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
LOL!!!!
Re: Trouble making/keeping friends?
find like-minded people. and friendships take time to build...
Will you be my phriend??
hey!
who will be my pffhrannd??
[QUOTE]
Just be nice to everyone but keep a healthy distance. Get close to people that are worth getting close to
[/QUOTE]
Ditto.
If you appear too 'desprate' people will roll over you. ONly get close to people who're worth it. If people see you're a 'weak' person they end up abusing you.
i have had trouble either makign or keeping friends since i was a kid! i go into depressions without friends! i dont understand why it is so hard for me to make frinds...i try my best to be so nice to them..i am not sure if its me or them? i dont know whats wrong with me!
Anyone knows what could be the reason, and how i can overcome it!
It seems to me (based on your post) that you're trying tooooooo hard to make friends. And that gives off a desperate vibe....and it's human nature for many people (male and female) to be turned off by that. A desperate vibe gives the impression that one is needy.....not confident. And confidence is one of the top qualities that attracts people.
You're not sure if it's you or them? Sometimes you may be the problem. Other times your friends might be the problem. Mistakes can be made by both parties. If someone is frequently disrespecting you by taking advantage of you....using you.....putting you down.....stabbing you in the back.......not being supportive of you in your times of need...........then that person is NOT a friend. And you should have the confidence of letting such people go as opposed to keeping them in your life when they are not healthy for you. If you know that your friend is wrong....if common sense tells you that your friend is wrong....then you don't need to apologize to them either. A confident person knows what they want out of relationships and establishes boundaries.
^At the same time........while social interaction/friends are essential to well-being.........it's also important for you to have OTHER INTERESTS besides your friends. Your life should NOT revolve around your friends. You don't need to be sooooo dependent upon them for happiness and fulfillment. In other words, your time can also be used to pursue hobbies/interests. It's more than okay to be by yourself sometimes. Spend time with family as well.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to say "Don't be too dependent on just one friend." This was during elementary school. It took me years to understand what she meant. And she was right. Don't get sooo attached to one person.....otherwise you risk getting hurt. People cannot always be trusted and one thing I've learned in life is that as you grow older....it seems as though there are very few people that you can call sincere friends. The less attached you are....the less likely you are to get hurt.
People may ditch you for a variety of reasons. That shouldn't (in my opinion) make you depressed. There are FAR MORE serious issues than "losing friends" that can cause depression such as......the death of a loved one......or having a terminal disease........being traumatized in some way or the other, etc. If you're depressed because of friends.........then that means you're giving these "friends" way too much power over your life........and that might mean you have low self-esteem. Respect yourself....love yourself....be comfortable with yourself enough so that you don't mind being alone with yourself from time to time. Having respect for yourself....builds confidence....and that's one of the basic requirements in building relationships with others.
hey! who will be my pffhrannd??
I got you back shawty!
It seems to me (based on your post) that you're trying tooooooo hard to make friends. And that gives off a desperate vibe....and it's human nature for many people (male and female) to be turned off by that. A desperate vibe gives the impression that one is needy.....not confident. And confidence is one of the top qualities that attracts people.
You're not sure if it's you or them? Sometimes you may be the problem. Other times your friends might be the problem. Mistakes can be made by both parties. If someone is frequently disrespecting you by taking advantage of you....using you.....putting you down.....stabbing you in the back.......not being supportive of you in your times of need...........then that person is NOT a friend. And you should have the confidence of letting such people go as opposed to keeping them in your life when they are not healthy for you. If you know that your friend is wrong....if common sense tells you that your friend is wrong....then you don't need to apologize to them either. A confident person knows what they want out of relationships and establishes boundaries.
^At the same time........while social interaction/friends are essential to well-being.........it's also important for you to have OTHER INTERESTS besides your friends. Your life should NOT revolve around your friends. You don't need to be sooooo dependent upon them for happiness and fulfillment. In other words, your time can also be used to pursue hobbies/interests. It's more than okay to be by yourself sometimes. Spend time with family as well.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to say "Don't be too dependent on just one friend." This was during elementary school. It took me years to understand what she meant. And she was right. Don't get sooo attached to one person.....otherwise you risk getting hurt. People cannot always be trusted and one thing I've learned in life is that as you grow older....it seems as though there are very few people that you can call sincere friends. The less attached you are....the less likely you are to get hurt.
People may ditch you for a variety of reasons. That shouldn't (in my opinion) make you depressed. There are FAR MORE serious issues than "losing friends" that can cause depression such as......the death of a loved one......or having a terminal disease........being traumatized in some way or the other, etc. If you're depressed because of friends.........then that means you're giving these "friends" way too much power over your life........and that might mean you have low self-esteem. Respect yourself....love yourself....be comfortable with yourself enough so that you don't mind being alone with yourself from time to time. Having respect for yourself....builds confidence....and that's one of the basic requirements in building relationships with others.
It's really hard to deal with females. One day they are your best friend and the next day they hate you. I swear women can be worse than men. Yes you do have to be confident and independent, but its hard to not have a social life. It's hard to keep a social life when you keep running into the situation and losing friends....
.... I dont know if this made any sense...