It's really hard to deal with females. One day they are your best friend and the next day they hate you. I swear women can be worse than men. Yes you do have to be confident and independent, but its hard to not have a social life. It's hard to keep a social life when you keep running into the situation and losing friends....
^True, I agree. Men seem to be better at maintaining friends. **And that's what I meant when I say that as you grow older...you realize that they are very few people that you would consider to be "really good friends". The kind of people that you can trust....that sincerely care about you...that have your back....that are honest....that wish well for you....that don't disappear in your time of need. As you grow older.....you notice that you can't even trust relatives such as cousins. Things like jealousy and competition get in the way. But yes, a social life is necessary for well being. A variety of diseases can be prevented with a healthy social life. And that doesn't mean that you should depend so heavily on one or two people. You can meet people in a variety of places....in a variety of ways. I've seen fair-weather "friends." I've even seen "friends" that are self-centered and don't respect you. Some of them disappeared....some of the I chose to ditch myself. But over time, I think I've grown a stronger skin. If you don't want to talk to me....fine. You're not obligated to. I know that I have other people in my life that sincerely care about me.
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.... I dont know if this made any sense...
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Yes, it made sense.**
RV.... I've been waiting for quite a while... I like the original poster have a hard time holding on to friends. Im too nice and get taken advantage of. I have completely given up at this point.
DB...some of my issues are like nightmare...RV knows :D..she used to say same thing to me that try to control your self before things get control over you...now i understand what she wanted to say...Allhumdulilah im feeling much better now :)
RV.... I've been waiting for quite a while... I like the original poster have a hard time holding on to friends. Im too nice and get taken advantage of. I have completely given up at this point.
Hmmm, is that the issue you're concerned about? If you know that you're too nice....then you've already identified your problem. It's like half the battle is done. Some people are clueless about what they may be doing wrong. So...now stop being "too nice."
RV it's not that easy. When I stand up for myself people become defensive, it's like a controntation. I wish I was meaner...
awwww..... treat friends as time pass yaar, no expectations and don't be too nice, also don't get too close to anyone except your own family... thats my motto.
I have 6-7 female friends here (around where I live) but I'm no way close to them..... we just meet up once or twice a month when we have time (with families) but its not like I'll share my frustrations with life or personal issues with them.... buss time pass hai, social chit chat and hansee mazaq. We meet them whenever its convenient for us and them.
But wait, I do have one friend at work who I share all my feelings with, she finds out through my moods anyways since we share a cubicle, so whenever I'm frustrated about something or she is, we just rant and let it all out in front of each other.... it works out pretty well :) I keep it all to myself and she does the same, since we don't share any social circles... no fear of gossip leaking out :p.
awwww..... treat friends as time pass yaar, no expectations and don't be too nice, also don't get too close to anyone except your own family... thats my motto.
I have 6-7 female friends here (around where I live) but I'm no way close to them..... we just meet up once or twice a month when we have time (with families) but its not like I'll share my frustrations with life or personal issues with them.... buss time pass hai, social chit chat and hansee mazaq. We meet them whenever its convenient for us and them.
But wait, I do have one friend at work who I share all my feelings with, she finds out through my moods anyways since we share a cubicle, so whenever I'm frustrated about something or she is, we just rant and let it all out in front of each other.... it works out pretty well :) I keep it all to myself and she does the same, since we don't share any social circles... no fear of gossip leaking out :p.
GOOD IDEA!!
its just that i thought maybe something is seriously wrong with me and all this time i have been wondering that even though i try to be so nice then how come people still don't like me?
No one ever told me all this. I was never taught or told about all this! Maybe its something you learn ffrom experience and not something that should be taught or told.
Anyways the point is that i got your point! :D
I feel much better!
Thanks to everyone who responded!
LOL I work in a cube too. I sit next to the hallway so everyone passes by my cube and says hi to me like 5 times a day... its very annoying especially while im on GS!!!
to not get into friendship without expectations is very unrealistic. We are human beings - the thing ab any relation is that it has to be mutual for it to be healthy and long lasting. Care about those who care about you. Let go of those who give you an attitude, they are not worth the effort.