Trial Marriages......;)

Hangout GupShup Cafe
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Ok Ok lemme clear it first…this is not my idea…this is Chan Ji’s idea (hahaha chan ji)…so don’t throw those anDays and TamaTars toward me…Chan ji oos paasay beThay ne;-)

Kher seriously…u guys discuss all kinda marriages here…forced, arranged, love bla bla…u never thought about a “Trial marriage”…?

Well marriage is a very big step…a risky one…like Gumps’ box of choclate…in marriage too…u don’t know for sure what u gonna get…sometimes it does happen ke u spend a lot of time wid a person or even u live wid a person for long and one day u realize, u don’t know the person at all…

So thats why we thought of this Trial marriage(Chan ji) ;)…ke instead of rushing in to a permanent one…why not get in to a Trial one first…Six month trial marriage(chan ji’s idea)…90 days Trial marriage(my idea…some ppl get bored more easily :wink:)

Pasand na aaye tou pesay wapis :wink:

What u say guys…???

PS. Chan ji kithay oo tussi??:wink:

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Naik Larki

There can be no such thing as a Trail Marriage

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Naiko, I think I am going through the same chaos right now… so no harm in testing a “trial package”.

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/pagal.gif

~Six months… aaaaaghhhhhhhh.. no way, one week is more than enuff, …jumay say jumay tak.. bus
Ok what would be asked on returning the product? [1] Not enough [2] Too much. [3] Both. ??

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/eek.gif

~JINX, (I know what you are thinking) lol

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/rolleyes.gif

~Let’s see what gupshupers say about this idea.

:wink: ~By the way Naiko jee things forbidden have a secret charm

[This message has been edited by r@@jdulara (edited April 09, 2000).]

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Hi! Hi! Hi!

Aray, not as in Angraisee "Hello", but in Maatam walaa "Haye! Haye"!!!!

My mother being originally from Ludhiana and Chan ji's buzurks being her neighbours there, Chan ji toa thairay mayra Bhai...

But Veer ji, tussi ai ki sunayaa and Naik bhee shamil!!!

Hayaa!!!! tum hee kuch karo!!

On a serious note, Naik Larki I want to focus on your statement,

"....some ppl get bored more easily".

Basing on the stories my married friends relate...SADLY, you are RIGHT on the mark.

I for one, strongly believe in the institution of marriage and preferably an arranged one...some of the older members will recall my "D8ing should be banned" thread from 1998! laugh!

But with time, I feel, even in our Desi world, Marriage seems to be losing that luster...
Again I think because of what you stated.

More of us are seeking "Temporary" thrills, and/or "Expecting" the thrills to be an ongoing process,
which we either don't realise,
or "Don't "Want" to realise, isn't Reality....

But instead of looking at it as, he/she doesn't interest me anymore, because that "new" chemistry is gone and should be discarded ASAP in pursuit of something "new" again,

I wonder if we could focus on the fact that even though that "first time" charm isn't there, this is someone we have "grown" with...

And More Importantly, would there be an end to this Pursuit of searching and searching and more searching...?

Which brings me to this "Trial Marriage" concept...How many times...? Forever....?

Yaani, hamesha apnay aap kao Options hee daytay rahaiN keya....?

Although on a "Selfish" note, may be this Trial Marriage wouldn't be too bad an idea...

Because in that case, those who are forced into marriages, which lack even a drop of "Mutual" respect and "Understanding", could come out "Without" the Kala Dhabba on their foreheads and be saved from being "Ostracized".....?

Khair, that all in the aglay janam, iss janam meiN toa aap donoa taiyaar ho jaiiye, for some Court kacheri for introducing such a Khatarnaak concept!!! Frown!!!!

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raj, I would give it two weeks, really.

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In Iran there is exactly the thing Naik larki is talking about. It's called MUTWA or temporary marriage.

Similar to dating - Iranian style.

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Mut'ah is a Islamic concept, which was only allowed in the early formative period of Islam - before the Shari'ah Of Islam reached its completion.

It came about during the times of Jihad or Ghazwat, BUT as soon as the Shari'ah of Islam reached completion, Mut'ah was made Haram and therefore is Unlawful...

P.S.

Roman, on that note on Islam, Please don't move this thread to Religion, because I have no interest in entering that Holy section dominated by brotherly/sisterly Love and Tolerance on a Sunday...
My sabbath is Friday..

[This message has been edited by Dehatan (edited April 09, 2000).]

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ok Roman bundle up, we are leaving for Iran.

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there was an indian movie on this subject as well. i don't remember the name of that movie though.

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O man, I knew I immigrated to the wrong country!

Dehatan,

Sure you don't want to share some of the lovable titles in Religion forum? Your loss, I guess. :)

BTW, I am only moderating Religion forum temporarily, and moving/editting/closing a thread in anyother forum is not in my (ah, limited) powers.

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Oh,

Roman bhai aap bhee bach kar aagaya may
bhee

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/biggrin.gif

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/biggrin.gif

kia saaray Taalay bikk gayay :wink:

kia wo Tarak guzar gayay

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/confused.gif

kia wo sarak hoi…

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Time is very important to me...as I'm not getting any younger so I'll go with atleast four packages running parallel to each other. I don't care if all four fail (keeping my fingers crosse), or my four have their own four going on at the same time...Its the fission/fussion flow chart which should look impressive. This approach could lead to chaos...but I can live with it for suggested duration of time.
Anyhooo, if at the end of the deal someone likes me I'm willing to extend the package till she actually finds out about real me....I'm sure till then I'll get more coupons for girls from different religions and backgrounds.

ciao,
BoSS

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Roman,

Hi and laugh!!

I think I'll take a rain check on that.
However, I would like to feed BoSS to the brothers and sisters of Islam, for his statement,

"...or my four have their own four going on at the same time..."

Lagta hai, ye kisi Women's Lib Organisation kay devoted member ban gaye haiN!!

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ooops, BBQ ;)

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Dehatan ji,

I find BoSS' statement perfectly conforming to Islamic principles and completely agree with you that he should be fed to the brothers (we have such brothers in Religion forum). Fed real tight, I may add.

I can visualize a fission/fusion chart forming right now, as a matter of fact.

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Dehatan says re: muta'h (temporary marriage):
"....BUT as soon as the Shari'ah of Islam reached completion, Mut'ah was made Haram and therefore is Unlawful..."

Actually, according to shia sharia muta'h is completely legit!

All present-day jurists allow men to enter into a mutah contract irrespective of whether they are permanently married or not. Ayatullah Fadlullah puts a limit of 4 wives, inclusive of permanent and temporay wives, whereas others put no restriction on the number of temporary wives.

There is unanimity amongst the Muslims that temporary marriage (mut'ah) was sanctioned and approved by the Qur'an and the sunnah of the Prophet (S). The dispute on this issue between the Shia and the Sunnis centres on whether or not this legislation was abrogated by a subsequent Qur'anic verse and hadith-reports of the Prophet (S). Our position (i.e. Shia), which can be documented with solid evidence, is that no such abrogation took place in the lifetime of the Prophet.

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Aanchal…my sista(in islam??)…why not???

Raaj… ;)so what was that deal about pressing the mute button..??who had to press it?? u? moi??:wink:
and yes one week is more than enuff for some ppl*(ahem ahem…jinx!!..hey hey…mister don’t u dare think that…huh!!)kher …aap ko tou atleast one month chaiay yea poochnay ke liay…“Begum…mere hazoor ka naam kiya hei”…Jinx!! I know saab ji;-) but don’t say it…press mute…u r so cute:)
and about forbidden things…ahem ahem…mera mohn mut khulwaye:)(moi pressing mute this time)*

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/nah.gif

Dehatan ji…Aap ko dekh ker khushi hoi:)i was thinking about opening a milk carton thread for you, hayaa and cappaio…Dil ko dil se rah hoti hei shaid

But yea kiya?? a post by u…and wid out those golden beams like smiles…not a single one

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

Sniff Sniff gimmie a smile ASAP:)

Aur dekh lijiay aap ke Ludhiyaanay wale bhai saab naikooN ko puThay puThay concepts se intro kera rahe heiN;-)

Kher since u r talking seriously(u r the only one…no one else take me seriously

http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

)…forget about that “getting bored so easily”…part of my post:)
i won’t look at this concept as something for seeking new thrills…or something for new charms…
how about if we look at it…search for ur soul mate…looking for someone who think on the same wavelength as u…???ur perfect match???

and i didn’t get it…why its not a bad idea on a “Selfish note”???
two parties entering in to an agreement…mutual agreement;-)no body is going to be hurt…no kala dhabba…its a great idea…no selfishness :slight_smile:

and “…how many times?”…
until u find ur perfect match…:slight_smile:
Life is an unending journey

Smilez…ur turn to smile now

Raj and Rom…can i join u guys…i always wanted to visit Iran…i know couple of farsi sheyrs too;-)…Raaj u buy my ticket;-)

Pk…(hahaha)u da man:) but r u sure ke 4 will be enuff…think again :wink:

Abdul…Mutah i guess is still acceptable in shi’ism…but ofcourse ppl i don’t wanna discuss it over here…plzzzzzzzz…

Ciao for now

PS. Asfia…are u talking about that movie of Anil kapoor and Kajol…?..“Hum aap ke dil meiN rehtay heiN”…??

[This message has been edited by NaikLarki (edited April 09, 2000).]

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Naik Larki,

You bet, "Dil ko dil se rah hoti hei shaid"...smile

Pehlay Khwaab, phir hee jaa kay Haqeeqat kaa janam...smile

Aap samajh raheeN haiN naa, mayraa ishaara kaunsi thread kee taraf hai....smile, sirf aap kay liye...

I liked your response of "no selfishness".
It is good to see ladies, who have the HIMMAT to go for what they want and how they want it to be.....

However, I did get a bit intimidated by your phrases, "soul mate" and "perfect match".

In my opinion, the best you can get, is someone who shares Basic compatibility, probably about 50-60%...?

While, the rest has to be cultivated and worked upon.

The way I read your response, it seemed like you are thinking about a greater compatibility ratio...?

And if that is so, in real life yooN hota hai keya..?
Aur agar hota bhee hai, won't it again become an endless search, with no "stability" or "security"....

By the way, it was Very nice touching base with you and Roman....

It's been a while since I have had some "mental" fursat and when I did come in today, some of the posts..shocked!!!

Hayaa kahaaN gayee?

I have to visit her "Loag kiyooN martay haiN" or "Maut kiyooN" or some fuzool thread in that order! laugh!

Roman and BoSS,

Ye keya??!!!

Please put in your serious cents!!!

19

Hmmmm.
Every marriage is a trial marriage...
Whats more important is to ensure , the lady doesnt get a dhabba for her failed attempts,, guys traditionally dont have that problem , or not at least as much..
Naik,
There is no limit to perfection....You can always be dissatisfied, and go on too wild a chase...
Thats why its important to be comfortable with whats probable, not whats possible. If whats available isnt good enuff, there is a problem...

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NaiKlarki, since in India we have no shortage of ancient wisdom, let me feed some to you. In tribals near my home town, the girl is allowed to try out 12 different guys before settling dow with what she finds best. So around a dozen attemps are necesary to get a decent bloke.