once again i would like to point out joint family system and living with in-laws is undesirable in islam... that is not to say that you should think of your in laws as evil etc just that living in a joint system or with in laws is islamically undesirable (that is not to say its a sin or you're required not to practice it just that its not desirable) so i dont see how u can say that has nothing to do with islam ... i would strongly suggest you read ahadith to find out about the islamic stance on joint families and in laws
and like i said in the other thread i do agree with u that there is no harm in following traditions that r not against islam but again that raises question: do you include traditions that may be islamically undesirable or are we just concerned with those that are blatantly against islam and its ok to follow those that are just islamically undesirable ? and the other question is where to you draw the linewhen following traditions for which you can find neither support nor opposition in islam. how much value should be placed on tradition versus religion?
If we are against all or some traditions because we think that they are against Islam, then we should have gut to completely following Islam with all the strictness. Please refer to post # 39 in which I clarified what I mean.
Its really funny how some people here go all nuts over Brother in Law mehram issue, or rukhsati...........and then go on to advice people on which song to play in which part of the wedding event...........or which designer clothes you should buy and the rest of the stuff like that.....
I think the brother in law issue comes up a lot because since he is a namehram he can force himself on you, I know that most won't, but of course there are some who won't. There have been cases of this happening so I think some/not all girls and parents get scared so thats why its probably brought up more and rukhsati is just the talk of gs right now, next week itll be a new topic. lol
rukhsati is just the talk of gs right now, next week itll be a new topic. lol
i was only giving examples........but i will be totally surprised if the new topic is about the islamic stance on Mehndi dances, or DJ, or expensive photography, or Designer cloths.....and whether the same people would go to the extent of digging up islamic viewpoint and ahaadith related to those topics as they do with these.........
i find it interesting that when a member brings up ahadith with respect to a certain subject like rukhsati and joint family system the other members are so quick to assume that this person is not following other aspects of islam
i dont believe i or any other member said that hijab was wrong and we dont think it shud be adhered to
in ur original post u specifically mentioned rukhsati and joint family system and i merely replied to that
i dont disagree that islam shud be followed completely and one shudnt pick and choose but i reply to what is written in a specific post... not the subject in its entirety...for example if someone were to talk about fertilization i would reply to that post only on the topic of fertilization and not the entire subject of biology... hope that makes sense
also while like i said i dont disagree that islam shud be followed completely and one shudnt pick and choose i also think that this statement in itself is not complete...it implies that one should follow all or nothing...
so in other words you're saying that if person A doesnt rob people's homes but he lies a lot he has two choices either start robbing people too (because god forbid you shudnt just follow some aspects of islam and ignore others) or he shud stop lying.
i dunno but i find that as a stand alone statement "dont pick and choose in islam" its a wonderful concept but flawed it just basically implies that there is no value for the good you do as long as you do not follow one rule
anyway like i said before i dont completely disagree with u just partially and i was just replying to your post as were other members ...it would be nice if ppl stopped making judgments about whether other ppl were following the religion completely or not without even knowing the person...but i guess thats too much to ask
anyway im backing out of this discussion because i dont want unwarranted assumptions made about me
If we are against all or some traditions because we think that they are against Islam, then we should have gut to completely following Islam with all the strictness. Please refer to post # 39 in which I clarified what I mean.
It's funny the same ppl who moan about others 'picking and choosing' parts of Islam are doing that themselves (eg refusing to give wife a separate home after marriage).. Rather than being obsessed with what others are getting upto perhaps they should work on themselves. 'Live and let live' is a better attitude to have than attacking others for things you're guilty of doing yourselves.. Practically no-one here follows Islam to the letter (proper hijab, no riba etc) so to pretend unless you follow every part of Islam you have no right to have an opinion or at least do your little bit is ridiculous imo..
anyway im backing out of this discussion because i dont want unwarranted assumptions made about me
I am sorry if I said anything which hurt you. I was just talking generally about the thinking of most of us (including me). Even in the original post of this thread, the OP seems to dislike the involvement of her MIL as she (and other posters) correctly said that the girl and guy were nikahfied and were legal husband and wife and the mom had no right to stop them from meeting. I agree with this. But if the OP was ok with other traditions like giving expensive gifts to in-laws, organsing a lavish nikah ceremony (which are against Islam), she could follow this rukhsati tradition just for the sake of her elders.
I may be wrong. Its just my thinking that we as Pakistani should try to follow Islam completely rather than just picking what we like and leaving what we don't. I did not target you in particular and I am sorry if I sounded like this :)
Rather than being obsessed with what others are getting upto perhaps they should work on themselves. 'Live and let live' is a better attitude to have than attacking others for things you're guilty of doing yourselves.. Practically no-one here follows Islam to the letter (proper hijab, no riba etc) so to pretend unless you follow every part of Islam you have no right to have an opinion or at least do your little bit is ridiculous imo..
My point exactly.......
if a person is ignoring islam in certain aspects (separate house/ BIL/Rukhsati etc) is that person worse than someone who ignores islamic viewpoint on dating/lavish weddings/dances etc??
Since "no one" here follows islam to the letter........... you can't really call someone a better or worse ignorer...........both things should go hand in hand.....
If someone ignores some islamic rulings while following tradition ..... doesn't make them worse than another person who is ignoring some other islamic rulings.....
aww ok... i apologize for the misunderstanding then :d
I am sorry if I said anything which hurt you. I was just talking generally about the thinking of most of us (including me). Even in the original post of this thread, the OP seems to dislike the involvement of her MIL as she (and other posters) correctly said that the girl and guy were nikahfied and were legal husband and wife and the mom had no right to stop them from meeting. I agree with this. But if the OP was ok with other traditions like giving expensive gifts to in-laws, organsing a lavish nikah ceremony (which are against Islam), she could follow this rukhsati tradition just for the sake of her elders.
I may be wrong. Its just my thinking that we as Pakistani should try to follow Islam completely rather than just picking what we like and leaving what we don't. I did not target you in particular and I am sorry if I sounded like this :)
well thats an interesting post ,it made me smile