Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

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I went to my weekly sisters circle yesterday and a very interesting topic was discussed that affects nearly all of us.

Weddings.

What a big importance they are in Pakistani culture, how much money is spent on food, clothing, decor, venue, music, entertainment etc. They are a sign of status in society, ie: the bigger and more extravagant your wedding is, the more well of you are.

Well nearly all of what we generally do on a Pakistani wedding is actually against islam and the Sunnah, and after listening to that talk i felt extremely ashamed and guilty.

Dholki wedding songs - Haraam

The duff is allowed in Islam, one end of the drum can be beaten and nasheeds or islamically acceptable songs can be sung. In Pakistani weddings we tend to hold 2/3 special dholki nights where cousins and family members sing dance and eat. Even mixing with bro-in law and cousins is very bad in islam but this is seen as acceptable in our culture.

Rasme- Hina

Henna is sunnah, and applying it is very good. The actual Mehndi Rasm is
Taken from the hindu’s, we spend so much decorating a stage, flowers, food, bride in yellow, free- mixing, guys dancing with girls, music and unessacary actvites.

Baraat

In islam the actual wedding is just the Nikah ceremony. Pakistani weddings tend to have the big hoo haa, horses, flashy cars, hoards of food, again music and dancing, free mixing including other hindu rasms such as dood pilai/joota chori/kursi. All of these are bidah, even if we can’t be perfect muslims how hard is it to stay away from hindu rasms and innovations?

Bride

In Islam the wife is not a show piece to be displayed on a stage to every uncle/cousin/pervert/ghair mahram. Is that how you would like your wife to be, all eyes on your wife on the day she will be looking the most beautiful?

Walima

Walima is sunnah in islam. This is a feast given after the marriage by the couple, which the husband pays for. Walima is a party of joy for the celebration of the newly formed family and for announcing that this couple are now husband and wife. We spend excessive amounts on 5/6 course meals per head in flashy venues, while there are people outside begging for food. Is this morally correct?

In conclusion, after listening to this I was very afraid and prayed that when I get married I hope I stay away from this ignorance false way of celebrating my marriage. The Prophet Muhammed PBUH was the most amazing man in this world and he promoted simplicity.

We as humans get deviated and attracted to wealth show. How simple was the wedding of the QUEEN OF ALL WOMEN Bibi Fatimah Ra, or the weddings of the Sahaaba? Are we better than them? No! They deserve more but they set us an example to follow but unfortunately we become JAAHIL and feel the need to show off. I hope our generation can change these traditions for the coming generations. It is sawaab of 50 shaheeds to whom soever follows and keeps one sunnah of the Prophet in a time of corruption.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

:biggthumb :k:
so very trueeeeeeeee 100% agree with this.
Wonder when our ppl will be able get this simple message into their thick heads! and stop bothering abt wat ppl gonna say.. and put a stop to all this showing off and flauntings at weddings.
Despite knowing millions of children are sleeping hungry every nite, at the end of the day they’d rather bow to ppl’s expectations than their own humanity. How sad can it get

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Impressed .. i won’t marry now :rolleyes:

Makeup Artists in UK [all threads merged]
Makeup Artists in UK [all threads merged]
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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

that is why i want just a nikah and a walima

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

In any religion, marriage is an important aspect. Hindus have the most colourful wedding of all. I agree that wastage should be eliminated, but I feel that without all these rasams and rivaaz's marriage will become dull and boring. Without these celebrations the weddings will become business contracts, like a contract you enter with a vendor for supplying the goods or building your house.

I can love you like that
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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

one must not be oblivious of the fact that culture is something different from religion.what u call Hindu traditions are actually Indian/subcontinent's traditions.Many Arab traditions are mistakenly perceived as the Islamic.Islam teaches us broad outlines of decency like simplicity etc.But Islam never intends to deprive its followers from the joys of life.we may avoid free mixing of both sexes or wastage of resources on weddings but at the same time we must enjoy music & dance and all other fun in a decent way.Goal of religion is to make our lives easier not to terrorise.Beauty of Islam is its rational approach .

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Ahem, okay, Pakistani marriages are “against Islam”…fine…stop them…but wait! I thought stealing, killing in cold blood, lying or being a corrupt leader were “against Islam” as well! :eek: But who cares about those things? We certainly cant let people have haraam fun! :naraz: Who cares about haraam killing, haraam theft, haraam mosque bombing, haraam suicide bombing or haraam rapes???

Prioritize. Haraam fun stops AFTER all worse Haraams stop.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Vaaateverrrrrrrr

:bhangra:

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Only issue i have wit paki weddings is the whole dowry thing, when guys side iwll ask for a list of stuff.. if parents wanna give her things for her wedding, its their rite no? Also, if you can afford it why not? Weddings are once in a lifetime (hopefully :p) you can have "fun" and just repent afterards :biggthumb

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

yea i completely agree with Sara, this dowry thing is the leading cause of divorce rate in pakistan.... actually it should be other way around, guy giving dowry (as a money) to the girl...

this guy actually came upto me (askin me questions about dowry in pakistani culture) he laughed and said he likes the idea of girl's family giving dowry... but in reality it should not be applied.

i dont know why we say "pakistani culture" WE never had our own culture... we lived with Indians for many many years, and there is just no way we can have our seperate culture, or even seperate values....

i thought pakistan was built for muslim people, but i guess we are heading the same direction... Culture over religion.

You can either be a muslim or a pakistani, hard to be both.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

It is true that killing is a bigger sin, the biggest after shirk, but that does not mean that if a person cant stop any killing, he shouldnt try stopping the lesser forms of evil.

You are asked to command good and forbid evil according to the ability and influence you have. But the basic thing is that, everyone should harbor hate for ALL HARAAM STUFF, and that is what the Prophet (SAS) characterized as the weakest stage of iman, and beyond which there is no Iman. So even if you cannot stop the haraam forms of entertainment or all the killings and the rape going on, you are required to atleast have hate for these activities in your heart.

Not everyone can stop all the killings and rape that goes around. Some can only right articles, some can rally people, while others in greater positions of power may be able to take more serious measures to stop such acts. You may not be able to stop all the killing and the rape thats going on in the society, but you may be able to stop all the haraam stuff that goes on in the name of "entertainment". Bottom line is, do whatever you can to make the society as Islamic as possible.

Great article..

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Ok, take out your raygun-of-justice and shoot all sinners and kill them all in one blow. You cant, you have to start somewhere genius, so start with the bigger problems. And why are you pissed off?

[QUOTE]
It is true that killing is a bigger sin, the biggest after shirk, but that does not mean that if a person cant stop any killing, he shouldnt try stopping the lesser forms of evil.
[/QUOTE]

Did I say haraam entertainment shouldnt be stopped?

Im not saying haraam entertainment shouldnt stop as you've asumed, Im saying we have much bigger problems at hand to deal with before, and as Islam would teach us to act in an organized manner, we have to address ethnical violence, militancy, murder etc first, and the haraam effect of wearing nail polish later, and so in effect, we have to address all our problems.

[QUOTE]
So even if you cannot stop the haraam forms of entertainment or all the killings and the rape going on, you are required to atleast have hate for these activities in your heart.
[/QUOTE]

I dont remember saying "I dont hate these haraam activities".

Though you are not required to have hate for anything. There is no sin for thought. What you think is your personal freedom, what you do is what you are accountable for. Get the facts right before you give someone adivce.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

just read your post again, and you'd find out who's pissed :)

You certainly did imply that we should first weed out all the bigger evils in the society, and then concentrate on the lesser evils. The bigger evils, such as killings and rape are here to stay, you cant just get rid of them for good. Its true they should be our first priority, but at the same time we cant ignore the lesser evils too.

Well, i wasnt just addressing you in my post. It was also directed at all those folks in this thread, who replied with comments like, "Vaateverrr" and "oh they make the weddings more colorful".

Like i said earlier, my post wasnt just directed at you.

I have my facts sorted, and i can provide tonnes of proofs on this topic, but this isnt the right place to discuss this issue. One only needs to look into the area of Al Wala wal bara, to find out what Islam requires of us.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

thanks… its not really an article, i just wrote it myself. I realised that to keep others happy we do some much haraam…why not keep ALLAH happy and earn something good.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

[quote=Unreal]
yea i completely agree with Sara, this dowry thing is the leading cause of divorce rate in pakistan.... actually it should be other way around, guy giving dowry (as a money) to the girl...quote]

I've personally never understood this dowry thing because altho i consider my family backwards sometimes in our family it is actually the other way round. The guy gives dowry to the girl. Altho, we never ask for much only from a custom manner when it used to be something like 30 rupees...so equivalent is something like £30. But, i kno that the girls family never give anything to the guy. Altho, when she gets married her parents will give her presents (i kno my parents are thinking of giving me a car i think) but this remains the girls property.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

Welcome to Pakistan. Where customs and tradition are more important to most people than Islam… :hoonh:

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

true…even when they know the truth they don’t accept it.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

^Staap it . Staap mixing culture with religion puhleez.

all those people who are against colourful/extravagant/haraam weddings, i would really apprecaite if you take a stand on ur weddings and go for a simple ceremony and let the rest of us have fun. Thankyou.

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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

I think it is a female's rite to ask for something from the guy (haq meher)..
I dont think theres anything wrong in giving somethin to teh guy, i deff would want to,b ut when they xpect it, and when parents start feeling bad abt not providing enough, when it leads to social evils as seeing daughters as mostly financial burdens, yeah it is pretty pathetic

Religion - Logic or Faith
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Re: Traditional Pakistani weddings against Islam?

and sweetpip, in Kaghaan (which i think is no more) they have a tradition where the guy's side bears all the expenses of the girl's wedding down to the beverages(in this case tea).

karrain, keejiye, karriye...