A friend is getting married, has ordered a bridal outfit costing $1000 and the walima outfit is $1200, from Pakistan. Her in laws said to go ahead and pick the outfits and just send them the bill and that money isn’t an issue.
However, her soon to be husband thinks she’s spent way too much on 2 outfits and that she should get something else. He thinks that both outfits should be within $1500. He’s quite upset with her for not consulting with him first. Her in laws are not involved and are pretty cool.
Tell him that he should query this with his parents as she has only acted on what they said - this issue is between him and his family. Also, it's only a matter of $700 over two outfits. If they can't afford it, they shouldn't have said that money isn't an issue. Since she has already ordered the outfits, if he still has a problem with it, perhaps she should offer to pay for one.
She shud tell him that she was not asked to work within any budget. How can she cancel her orders now? I don't think woud be possible.
And bridals nowadays cost alot and i m sure since she is making the purchase from abroad, they wl charge her all the more. Anywas i think the guy is not being fair here. If he had such a reservation he should have asked her before she selected the outfits.
Her inlaws have to pay only for one dress, i hope she is paying for the barat one herself.
It isn't about the money but that he doesn't think one should overspend on these things...
Of course he should have told her so before but he said he assumed they were on agreement on this fuzool kharch issue. She doesn't think she's spent too much, he thinks she has. I think it's pretty reasonable, and her inlaws are paying for both it seems.
Why is she letting them pay for both the dresses? I think she should pay for one of them. Even if they are ok with it, it still doesnt look nice. Seems like she is the kanjos type who is going lavish on their money!
No, the girl's parents are paying for both his outfits. That's what they decided. But that's a good idea...she can just give one bill to her in laws.
But how to reason out with her fiance?
OOooh now thats ok then, if they r also paying for both his outfits.
Yah she can do that give one bill 2 them n when they ask for the other one she can tell them that their son was being kanjos abt it. Haha.
On a serious note, i dnt know how she can reason with him or how he can with her. i mean on things like this everyone has a diff take, some thinks its ok to spend lots of money something think otherwise. But i just feel its nt nice of the fiance to expect her to buy something else now its after all her wedding n it wl always be back of her mind that she didnt get to wear her first choice. so he shud let it be this time around n just be assume next time that she wud know how much he expects her 2 spend.
Well he is a pretty "religious" guy for lack of a better term...and he believes in living with modesty. He is very successful in his career and stays by himself in a state different than his parents. His parents live in a huge fancy home but he's satisfied in his humble apartment. The girl is well aware of all this and is OK with his choices...I guess...but he was very mad at her for spending so much. Although come to think of it, it wasn't really too much, eh?
Well he is a pretty "religious" guy for lack of a better term...and he believes in living with modesty. He is very successful in his career and stays by himself in a state different than his parents. His parents live in a huge fancy home but he's satisfied in his humble apartment. The girl is well aware of all this and is OK with his choices...I guess...but he was very mad at her for spending so much. Although come to think of it, it wasn't really too much, eh?
Is she really okay with his choices?
I dunno man. Some people just have expensive tastes....doesn't make em bad people.
I feel like it will be very tough for her even if she is aware. Because then its not just the wedding dress, its where to live, what to eat etc, and it would be an everyday struggle and in the end shes the one who will end up compromising on everything.
Her parents should ask his parents what the budget is... and her family should pay the remaining balance out of their own pockets. That way the in-laws don't even know the issue even existed...
I dont think she's spent much on her outfits and has been very reasonable. She should maybe show her fiance how pricey clothes are these days and then maybe he'll understand.
call off the wedding??? ...........NO?? oh...its wedding forum,,,, sorry :@:
Yep you are right .
If his parents are living in a lavish house , if they are paying for her dresses , if they are OK with her spending this kind of money , then the only thing I can say is that he is a control freak , since he cannot control his parents he is onto his bride to be. If he upset and angry with her over what his parents have allowed then it is all the more sign that he has controlling nature.
If he is so religious why does he not respect his parent's wish and who can easily afford it all.
Being religious does not mean that he does not have a controlling nature. She should ask him to talk to his parents who have allowed her to order those dresses
Its so easy for there to be complications when it comes to weddings and finances… Different people have different opinions on what is ‘reasonable’ …especially guys who havnt had any experience in how much these things cost. Your friends outfits sound pretty reasonable esp. for desi outfits these days …
I’m not aware of ‘how angry’ your friends fiance got… but its understandable for him to be irritated by it… just as its understandable for her to have gone and bought the outfits in this matter …
If both are reasonable then its a simple misunderstanding and should be treated as such. The biggest issue in most weddings is money… These kind of misunderstandings should be expected…
A guy should be generous with his wife. You get married once and the amounts she has spent aren't outrageous. In fact, they are average for a decent jora. You said he is well-off but chooses to live modestly. Living within your means is great but living like a kanjoos is a turn-off. I would see this as a red flag if I was marrying him.
1) She's wearing the outfits and the guys parents are paying for it. If she was never given a specific budget by the fiance or his family, AND if these outfits do not put a financial stress on his parents, then the fiance has no right to get upset with her.
2) In regarding these specific outfits, she should tell her fiance that outfits have already been ordered and she is not changing them. She should stand her ground and tell him that in the future, he needs to be more clear in his communication. This is NOT her fault. She did not do anything that should cause her to feel guilty about her choices. If her parents and HIS parents are ok with her purchases, then he needs to be a "big boy" and show a little respect not only to his future wife, but also to his own parents.
3) Good luck to your friend for marrying such a "catch". I'm sure her life will be a dream once she move in with him in his humble apartment! please note the sarcasm On a serious note, your friend should really have a very open/blunt discussion with this guy regarding her expectations in spending money and lifestyle in the future. Consider this "outfit issue" a GIFT from God in the sense that this is her warning sign.