So when you’re trying to talk to your spouse about touchy subjects like weight, intimacy, his strange parents, chewing with the mouth open, etc…how do you do it?
Do you just blurt it out, drop hints, lead by example?
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So when you're trying to talk to your **spouse **about touchy subjects like weight, intimacy, **his **strange parents, chewing with the mouth open, etc...how do you do it?
Do you just blurt it out, drop hints, lead by example?
:)
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Drop hints at first and he never gets it. Men are bad with hints, so I end up just blurting it out.
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I just blurt it out.
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I blog it on GS and hope he visits 
Noooo, we’re good buddies so we have figured out how to communicate with each other. Although I must admit that he takes criticism way better than I do.
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he/she is your spouse for God's sake
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What does that mean? 
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he/she is your spouse for God's sake
so does that mean we are at full liberty to be rude and hurt their feelings ?
i would drop hints ..and then tactfully remark about it seeing his mood ! nobody is fond of criticism ...
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Why did you marry such a ill mannered , dumb guy with such a strange family , didn't you do your research before hand to make sure you do not have to deal with such things.
You should have married a guy who would know all these things already and had a non strange family. It is your fault , now deal with it.
If it is a real situation then it is very sad , if it is a hypothetical question then it is very extreme hypothetical question , I hope nobody has to deal with it.
Because if you have to talk to someone on these subjects then I am sure they are the folks who would not consider them problems at all or such a big deal as you do , all you will get out of this discussion with them will be a heartache.
That is what I think , you do not have to agree with me so do not kill me for blurting it out. :) Peace.
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Be honest... something I can't do but getting better by him helping me through it :)
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and LOL @Mirch
everybody has bad habits and nobody is perfect
if your wife stuck her finger in her nose and then licked it would you tell her to stop or would you just ignore and tolerate it?
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So when you're trying to talk to your spouse about touchy subjects like weight, intimacy, his strange parents, chewing with the mouth open, etc...how do you do it?
Do you just blurt it out, drop hints, lead by example?
DF & I are do not usually have an issue communicating. By now I know him well enough to know what is and isn't a "touchy" subject for him.
If it's something related to etiquette, I just blurt it out b/c I know he won't take it personally. Things related to his weight, I approach it from a health/financial point. Example: Lets say he's slacking off on going to gym...instead of addressing it from a "you're fat" approach.....I angle it from "we need to try to be healthy / if something happned to you I'd be devastated / we're paying for the gym anyway so it a waste of $ if we don't use it" etc. approach.
Things related to his parents or friends....I usually first try to hint around. I guess you can call it manipulation...lol. Instead of me trying to convince him that I am bothered by something or that I find something unacceptable.....I do my best to convince him that HE is the one who's bothered by it (or should be bothered by it). Its much easier for him to address issues relating to his family or friends when he's convinved that he's doing it b/c HE wants it. :) And yes, in drastic situations when this doesn't work....I blurt it out...lol. Although thankfully in 2.5 years....I only needed to do this once with a friend of his.
Some people are good at taking hints....others are clueless that need a direct approach. And there are others who see "direct approach" as someone trying to tell them what to do...so this doesn't work with them.
When it comes to dealing with a partner, I believe too many people allow their emotions to take control and focus too much on I. People generally approach issues in the way that would make them happy/comfortable. I think if more people actually came up with a stratagey, and took the time to learn the approach that works best for their spouse....relationships would be much smoother (of course this also takes patience and more "work").
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We are straight forward with each other but we do it respectfully. If i have an issue with something we try and talk in private about it. If I hold it in then it comes out with anger and he doesn't like that at all.
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But , but , but your name is coolgirl. 
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So when you're trying to talk to your spouse about touchy subjects like weight, intimacy, his strange parents, chewing with the mouth open, etc...how do you do it?
Do you just blurt it out, drop hints, lead by example?
so I am assuming question is directed towards girls right?
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My husband and I are good at just talking.....but it wasn't always like this.....when we were first married I remember I use to drop hints and hope he got the point but that never worked and would lead to an argument about how clueless he is.
I do feel that the conversation goes much better if I tell him ahead of time that I'm just venting and want him to listen and do nothing else or that I need him to help me / work on a particular issue.
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I’m not good at picking up hints dropped here and there. Mum does that sometimes 
and expects me to “insaan bun” and I usually have no clue she isn’t liking something and wants me to fix it. Just say it to me and I’ll do something about it. Simple. In the same way, I will just frankly talk to him and I expect him to do the same. Besides, how would you pass “hints” about, for example, his weight gain without making it sound like sarcasm? Why beat around the bush, he’s your husband, just discuss things like adults.
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What Hareem said, I would just tell him and we're close enough to not take it to heart. Of course I am the one who gets more defensive so ideally I suck at taking criticism, I guess. BUT we mutually feel easy just saying it, esp. me.
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Why did you marry such a ill mannered , dumb guy with such a strange family , didn't you do your research before hand to make sure you do not have to deal with such things. You should have married a guy who would know all these things already and had a non strange family. It is your fault , now deal with it.
If it is a real situation then it is very sad , if it is a hypothetical question then it is very extreme hypothetical question , I hope nobody has to deal with it. Because if you have to talk to someone on these subjects then I am sure they are the folks who would not consider them problems at all or such a big deal as you do , all you will get out of this discussion with them will be a heartache. That is what I think , you do not have to agree with me so do not kill me for blurting it out. :) Peace.
So you never had to have a discussion with your spouse that was a bit uncomfortable in nature in alllll of your married life? Thats weirder.
so I am assuming question is directed towards girls right?
I guess guys can answer too.
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So you never had to have a discussion with your spouse that was a bit uncomfortable in nature in alllll of your married life? Thats weirder.
I guess guys can answer too.
Never, and there is nothing wrong and weird about a peaceful married life. Is it ?